


Lay In the Atmosphere

by Lisa_Telramor



Series: Magic Kaito Neighbors Future AU [3]
Category: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Depression, Dissociation, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Character Death, Moving On, Multi, One Night Stands, Panic Attacks, Poor Life Choices, but not much comfort, midlife crisis in his 20s, past kaito/aoko, read nltsa if you want happy kaito, this is pretty much lots of sad and anxious kaito
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-08-22 12:19:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 70,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16597799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lisa_Telramor/pseuds/Lisa_Telramor
Summary: Kaito's life hadn't taken turns he thought it would, but even if he was still Kid years down the line, he's made the best of the situation as he can. But when Jii is shot at a heist, Kaito finds his enemies closing in, his luck running dry, and his life falling apart at the seams. In the midst of the mess, he can't help being drawn to the Kudos who seem to have everything Kaito couldn't keep.





	1. Smoke and Mirrors

**Author's Note:**

> So as I was writing Not Left To Stand Alone, the idea for this fic, with Kaito's history with the Kudos, was nagging at the back of my brain and the second I was done writing the bulk of NLTSA, I was writing this fic. ^_^;;; Which... emotional whiplash as NLTSA ends on happy notes and this is ANGST-DEPRESSION-TEARS for Kaito. >_> I mean it's not 100% angst, but let's be real, most of this is a grief and anxiety spiral mixed with shit life choices that Kaito eventually manages to drag himself out of. That said, if you haven't read NLTSA this should stand well enough on its own as a separate story. 
> 
> I was listening to Panic at the Disco almost nonstop when I was writing this so the title comes from “A Casual Affair” which is kind of ironic since Kaito, Shinichi and Ran don’t do casual anything. ^_^;; A more fitting piece of music for this fic is “Smoke and Mirrors” by Imagine Dragons, but that could just be my current music binge talking. :P Hop on the angst train, guys, hope you enjoy sadness catharsis and bittersweet ends since this fic is Kaito at a very low point in his life

 

 

Kaito shuffled a deck of cards absently as he and Jii leaned over a map. It was covered with Kaito’s notes and annotations about guard shifts, traps, and escape routes. “I think that about covers it,” Kaito said. “It’s only a small role you’ll be playing this time, Jii-chan.” He flashed his assistant a grin, “You shouldn’t have to worry about anything tripping up those bad knees of yours.”

“My knees are perfectly fine, Kaito-sama,” Jii said with a sniff. He was older, much older than when Kaito first met him, and he’d looked old then. His gray hair was going mostly white now, what little he still had left of it, his glasses that much thicker and his hands a bit more gnarled than before. He was still a capable magician in his own right though, keeping up with Kaito like he was half his actual age.

Still, Jii wasn’t getting any younger, and sometimes Kaito worried that he was asking too much. Ever since the divorce with Aoko, Kaito had been holding more heists again, and it was taking a toll on both of them. Kaito sat back with a sigh. “I think we’ll take a break after this one,” he said. “Rest a bit and do some research. Leave the police guessing. Work on some new gadgets to keep them on their toes.”

“Active resting,” Jii commented, amused.

“You know me, always doing something.” It was a joke, but it wasn’t; Kaito hadn’t rested much at all since Takumi was born, not even before then with school and Kid work, but especially not after Takumi. “Buuut, you should actually rest. You’ve been saying you wanted to go on vacation. Why not close up shop for a bit? Go to Okinawa and get that time on the beach, or heck, go to France for a few weeks.”

“I don’t know...” Jii gathered papers together, conflicted. “I couldn’t leave all the work to you to do. You should take a proper vacation too, Bocchama.”

Kaito was hardly as young as he used to be, but he couldn’t help a lopsided smile. He’d always be the ‘young master’ to Jii. “It’s fine. I’m not planning on doing much. Just scouring webpages. I promise that I won’t do any legwork until you’re back.”

Jii returned the smile. “Well, if you insist...perhaps a short vacation would be nice.”

“Of course it would. You’ve earned it.” The deck of cards fanned from one hand to another and vanished up Kaito’s sleeve. “We’ve earned it,” he corrected at Jii’s pointed glance. “I promise to do actual resting.”

“Perhaps take a real vacation of your own?” Jii said pointedly.

Kaito considered. How long had it been since he went somewhere just to relax? Since he didn’t have work or school or Kid or child-rearing? He drew a blank. That was probably Jii’s point. “If I take a vacation I don’t think I’d go anywhere, or not far. I don’t want to miss spending time with Takumi.”

“Then take him with you. A family vacation.”

“That could be fun.” Takumi camping or taking him to visit a zoo or to see the sights in Kyoto. Kaito could show him how to do coin tricks and do every fun thing he could think of that a child might enjoy for a week. Aoko would never go for it though, so it would never happen. Not a weeklong trip like he desperately wanted. Kaito shook his head. Maybe he’d just settle for taking Takumi to an amusement park sometime soon. Take Takumi and Momoi’s kid, Shiemi, since they got along so well, let them get hyped on sugar and run it all off between rides. “I’ll think about it.”

“Good,” Jii said. He smiled, the sort of proud, doting smile that always made Kaito wonder if this was what having a grandparent felt like. Probably not. Grandparents didn’t defer to you.

Kaito stretched. “Get some rest, Jii-chan, we’ll have a lot of work tomorrow.”

“Goodnight, Kaito-bocchama.” Jii collected the notes into a neat pile to stash away in his office like so many other heist prep days before.

“Night, Jii-chan.” Another late night, another early morning, but nothing out of the norm for either of them. Kaito fixed tomorrow’s plans in his head one last time as he left. It had been a while since he pulled a supposed teleportation trick. They got harder every time he had to think up a new way to make one work. Thank goodness Jii was still quick as ever. The usual firm resolve solidified around the plan’s concept. He’d get it done. He always did.

***

The jewel-inset mirror in his hands felt abnormally heavy as Kaito raced through prepared retreat paths. His heart pounded overtime with adrenaline and the steely satisfaction of leaving Nakamori-keibu in the dust, cuffed with his own cuffs to a guard rail. “Jii, I have the mirror,” Kaito said, curt as he saved most of his breath for running. “Get yourself out.”

Ideally, Jii would already be on his escape since his role in the teleportation trick had ended, but knowing Jii he’d stuck around. He had the habit of doing it to make sure Kaito had someone watching his back, and it had helped Kaito more than once out of some bad scrapes over the years. There was an affirmative through the earpiece; Jii would take the north route while Kaito kept attention his way a little longer before he pulled his final vanishing act. Good.

Kaito dived down a stairwell leaving a smoke bomb bubbling thick blue smoke behind him. A slap of a hand on a trap trigger, and somewhere his dummy should be taking off, one more diversion.

The number of diversions he needed were ever increasing. There had been no gunshots during the heist proper this time, nor the time before that or the one before that either, and the gap had him feeling twitchy. It was usually every couple heists that there was some sign of the crows he attracted with his shiny displays. Nothing.

A face switch, clothes switch, quick change and makeup in record time for a young woman to emerge around a building and watch for a moment as the task force scrambled by a few minutes later, going straight in the direction Kaito had been headed.

There was a burst of static on the com. “Jii?” Kaito checked the mirror. The gem was dull in the moonlight and the faint neon light a short ways outside the alley Kaito hid in. Not Pandora. He slid it away again. There was another burst of static. Kaito glanced up just in time to see his dummy going down, perfectly silhouetted against the moon. The false glider made a V as it tipped straight down.

The crows or Nakamori? Kaito shivered. “Jii-chan?” Kaito tried again.

Nothing.

That didn’t necessarily mean something was wrong. Jii could be somewhere he couldn’t answer for fear of being caught. Or maybe he hadn’t heard—he was a bit hard of hearing in one ear...the ear that didn’t have the earpiece... Or maybe he’d been forced to drop the earpiece altogether for some reason.

Kaito clenched and unclenched his hands, staring back toward the route Jii would have taken.

He turned back.

No one paid any attention to a young woman dashing down the street—she wasn’t running away from the scene of the crime but toward it after all; Kid wouldn’t run back toward it and ruin his escape. Kaito was glad for the anonymity as he slipped past a few stray groups of officers doing rounds and circled around to Jii’s escape route. The north route had less bolt holes and twists than the path Kaito took, but Jii should have been plainclothes, back to being a seemingly frail old man. Even if the police stopped him, it wasn’t like they’d hold him. He wouldn’t have a mask and Kid was well known to be a young adult.

“Come on, Jii, where are you?” Kaito murmured under his breath. If Kaito was Jii and sure that he wasn’t needed anymore for the heist where would he...? Kaito ducked down an alley. Jii had a stiff knee and a lot lower stamina than Kaito. He wouldn’t have climbed, but he’d probably run until he found a good place to stop. This alley came out on a side street and there was another even narrower alley up ahead with a fence that was easy enough to put between him and a pursuer...

Kaito rounded the corner, inching past an over-full garbage can and froze. “...Jii...chan?” A shape was huddled at the end of the alley near the fence, on its side in almost a fetal position. Kaito took a step forward. “Jii—” He saw the blood. Too much blood. One more step and Kaito recognized the scarf, had given that scarf to Jii a month ago for his birthday, had joked about the four leaf clovers woven into it marked him as a Kuroba in all but blood. The clovers hadn’t brought Jii any luck as part of his face was missing where the bullet must have exited. Kaito’s stomach clenched.

Jii. Jii was on the ground, broken, bleeding. Dimly, Kaito guessed he’d been climbing the fence. When he was hit. The earpiece had fallen out, blood-soaked now. The shot and the fall the bursts of static? Or had Jii realized...? Kaito reached for him—to check what he already knew, move him, cover his face, Kaito wasn’t sure—but as he bent a shot cracked just past his head into the concrete wall beside them.

He dropped on instinct. Jii three feet away, but bullets. But _Jii_. Kaito bit his lip hard enough to bleed. Another shot made the choice for him, sending him back out of the alley and its deadly narrow confines. Each footfall was a reverberation in him, ache spreading out from his chest like he’d been the one to get shot, throbbing like a bruise. Beat-beat- _beat_ and Jii left behind him.

The alleys and roads were a blur, indistinct and unreal compared to the scene by the fence and yet so sharp in focus Kaito could remember the glint of broken glass on the pavement like dozens of knives and the cold press of metal searing into his palm when he ducked past a fire escape to get to another bolt hole and change identity again.

Nothing from the earpiece, broken, nothing to receive.

Kaito was a middle aged business man when he got back to his neighborhood, inconspicuous. Another person walking home. Another person possibly drunk. He didn’t need to affect his stagger. Each step was heavier the closer he got to his own door.

Change to himself, go home, hide the mirror, check the phone for messages on automatic because maybe Kaa-san or Jii—

Feed the doves. Sit in his childhood bedroom come home again.

Kaito sat and stared at the same walls he’d stared at the night after meeting Jii years ago. On his desk was a note about looking into vacation spots. If Kaito stared at them long enough, maybe it would all prove to be a bad dream and Jii would still be planning a trip south and Kaito would call Aoko and make a bargain to get Takumi an extra night so they could have an adventure.

The moon was still bright and silver out the window. Light enough that it could reveal anything, even what you didn’t want to know.

Kaito wanted to believe Jii was okay. That he’d walk around the corner any moment and apologize for making Kaito worry. But death was a lesson learned young.

_—Kaa-san with her hand across his eyes, “Don’t look, Kaito, don’t look,” the impression of a fireball burned into his retinas as tears dripped down his face without him knowing why, yet, just that something was terribly wrong—_

Kaito touched his cheek. It was dry. Funny. It felt like he was crying inside.

On the desk, his phone buzzed. He didn’t remember putting it there, but the body would follow routine when on automatic. It showed Aoko’s number. Kaito watched it ring, the phone buzzing and buzzing before it rolled over into voicemail. A minute later it buzzed again with an incoming text message.

The thought of talking to Aoko right now was too much. Kaito left the phone buzzing and headed to the bathroom, stripping out of his clothes and stepping under water as hot as he could bear it. Its sting left his skin red and aching.

If he’d been faster...no, Jii would still be dead. If he’d pressed Jii to go on vacation sooner... If he hadn’t gone with a doppelganger teleportation plan. If Jii had been safe at home tonight. If, if, if. He looked like he had a full body sunburn by the time he shut off the water. It gurgled down the drain, chased by drips and drops as he stayed hunched over the shower knob. He hurt all over, inside and out now, and it wasn’t quite enough still.

Kaito left a trail of wet footprints back to his room, not bothering with a towel. Kaa-san was away. No one would care if he was naked because there was no one there to care. His phone showed several missed calls from Aoko and four texts.

 _Kaito, what the fuck. They just ID’d a body as Jii. What’s going on?_ Kaito closed his eyes. Jii... to be found be some unknown person like that... Kaito wished he could have taken him from that alley. But then what? He looked at the next message. _Kaito?_ then, _Pick up your phone dammit._ The phone started ringing again as he held it. Kaito read the last message with a squirming feeling of guilt inside the numb grief and horror: _You’d better not be dead too._ The caller was Aoko again of course. He answered.

“Aoko.” There was a long silence on the other end. Kaito wasn’t sure what tone his voice had had.

Aoko let out a breath. “ _You’re not dead._ ”

“No.” That was Jii. Kaito wasn’t hurt at all for once.

 _“What happened?”_ Aoko demanded.

“I don’t know. He didn’t answer and I found him like that. Had to leave when someone shot at me.”

“ _...fuck.”_ There were goosebumps all over his arm and legs now. He ignored the cold, listening numbly for Aoko’s voice. “ _I’m not supposed to tell you this, but they’re reviewing this as a mugging because Jii didn’t have a wallet on him. The only reason he was ID’d is because one of the officers that found him remembered him from seeing him around us over the years.”_

“A mugging? With that angle of a shot? And high caliber rifle bullets?” Kaito said, disbelief leaking through the shock that had followed him from the scene of the crime. “Anyone with eyes could see he was climbing the fence when he was shot.”

 _“Look, I didn’t see the details, that’s just what I’ve heard.”_ Aoko was tense, upset. She had been close to Jii once too, even if since the divorce they cut contact.

“A cover up,” Kaito said. He could almost laugh because of course. Of course it would be covered up, swept under the rug and dismissed as quickly as possible. Kaito was willing to bet the case wouldn’t even last a month. Old anger curled through him at the unfairness. They took his father and now they took Jii and both of their deaths would be seen as chance happenings instead of the premeditated murder they were. “Dammit.”

 _“Was Jii at the heist tonight, Kaito?”_ Aoko asked. There was the cold, judging tone he had come to expect from her. The one that laid blame on his shoulders every time she spoke to him or looked his direction.

Kaito didn’t answer that question. Answer or no answer, it would damn him either way.

“ _Damn it Kaito,”_ Aoko said. “ _It’s not enough to just be you, but Jii?”_

Kaito didn’t answer that either and for a while there was just Aoko’s ragged breaths over the line and Kaito’s controlled ones. The world was falling out from under him but he still had control over his body. He could walk out of here and in the path of a bus and die smiling if he felt like it, a convincing smile even as he couldn’t cry. Not tears that were his own anyway.

He licked his lips, mouth feeling dry, swallowing past the lump in his chest. “How soon do you think the body will be released?” It was Kaito who would arrange a funeral. Kaito who was the officiator of Jii’s will. Kaito who had been everything to Jii once he stepped up into his father’s shoes. It felt a bit like betraying Jii, worse than failure, that he was in this position now, stuck fulfilling these roles long before either of them thought he’d need to.

 _“I don’t know,_ ” Aoko said. _“Until they close the case. If they don’t find any leads or if someone is framed...”_

“Okay.” He could handle this. He was an adult. Almost twenty-six. He could handle this and Jii’s loss. “Okay, thanks.”

“ _Kaito—”_ Aoko’s voice low and sharp with anger or a threat, he wasn’t sure, but he hung up on her anyway. She’d take that out on him some way later, probably when she dropped of Takumi on the weekend. If she dropped off Takumi on the weekend. Fuck.

Kaito scrubbed at his eyes.

Just...fuck.

Jii was dead and it was Kaito’s fault. There was no going back from this.

***

Jii left him everything. His business, his collection of magician paraphernalia, his house, his savings—everything. Kaito wasn’t sure what to think or feel about that. Jii’s body had been released only two weeks after his death when a supposed mugger turned himself in, pled guilty, and got a life sentence. Kaito looked into the mugger, but whatever they had on the guy to make him be a scapegoat, Kaito didn’t find it.

And now here he was, holding a memorial in Jii’s bar for him because his body was already cremated and he hadn’t left any specifications for his burial. There were frequent patrons drinking to Jii’s memory and old magician friends. Not Chikage. Kaito hadn’t been able to get ahold of his mother in the last few weeks. Of all the times for her to pull one of her radio silences, this was the worst moment for it. She should have been here. As Toichi’s wife, one of Jii’s older friends, she should have been here but she wasn’t and might not have even seen any of Kaito’s messages to know Jii was dead yet.

Alcohol burned down his throat. He’d poured himself a glass of Jii’s favorite whiskey to drink for him and hadn’t stopped drinking since the memorial started. It was a bad idea but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

There were two regulars—Ryousuke and Yuuta, both people Jii had been on first name basis with—in front of Jii’s memorial photo at the moment. They had offerings of alcohol and the mochi from a shop a few miles away Jii had loved.

There was something restless rising in Kaito, had been rising for the last few weeks since Jii’s death. He wanted to take a pool stick and shatter it.  Jump off a building and wait until last moment to deploy his glider. Bait the police and the organization on his tail until there was no room for thinking beyond what was needed for survival. There were two dozen half-planned heists on his desk in the hidden room at home. Kaito hadn’t slept much lately. The only time the restless feeling was quiet was when he was pushing his body in the small hours of the night, seeking out what he needed for the next heist, the next, the next, however many he had to do.

There’d been a moment where he wondered if it wasn’t better to quit. It got Oyaji killed, got Jii killed. It’d probably kill Kaito too. But that moment had passed quickly and it felt like there was even less reason to stop. They kept taking and taking and he’d have to be the one to stop them somehow. He had to.

The whiskey tasted like nothing. One more liquid swallowed down. At the door, Aoko and Takumi entered, dressed for a proper funeral instead of...this. Kaito swallowed again, though there was nothing in his mouth. “Hey.”

“Kaito,” Aoko said. She looked around the room and the people at various stages of drunkenness with a small frown. “This is...lively.”

“Yeah, well...” Kaito shrugged. He had let whoever showed up, show up. Some of them might only be there for the alcohol. He crouched down beside Takumi to give him a hug. Small arms hugged back. Takumi was six now, already so big, and getting bigger every time Kaito saw him. Aoko who lived with him every day probably didn’t notice little things like how Takumi’s hair was just shy of needing a haircut or how he’d gained a centimeter that month alone. “Hey. You doing okay?”

“Yeah.” Takumi settled back on his feet, glancing at the rest of the room. He’d been here before. Jii had a holiday party most years, and he’d babysat Takumi a lot, especially in the first few years. “Kaa-san said Jii-chan died.”

“Jii-chan did die,” Kaito said, heart heavy. Takumi was old enough to understand death, had been for a while. This was just his first encounter with it being someone he knew.

“Is he like Yuki?” Takumi asked, referring to one of Kaito’s doves that had died a few months ago. She’d died of old age and they had found her body in the dovecote when they went to feed the birds one morning. It had been a chance to talk about life and death. Kaito was glad they’d had that talk because Takumi was glancing around like he expected a body to roll off one of the pool tables.

“Not quite like Yuki,” Kaito said, “but he’s passed on like she did. There isn’t a body because it’s already been cremated—burned up.”

“Oh.” Takumi bit his lip and Kaito gave him another careful hug. He hadn’t drunk so much that he’d lost control of himself, but he’d had enough that Takumi needed his full concentration. “That doesn’t hurt right?”

“No, he was already dead.” Kaito glanced at Aoko, and from her expression, he guessed that this was something Takumi’d asked already and he was getting a second opinion on. “You can’t hurt anymore if you’re dead.”

“Oh,” Takumi said again.

“There’s a memorial if you want to say goodbye to Jii-chan,” Kaito said. “I’m sure he’ll be happy to hear from you. Ok?”

“Ok. I’m going to tell him I’ll miss him and I hope he’s happy wherever he is.”

Kaito forced a smile for Takumi and patted him on the head before Takumi marched toward the memorial with a determined look in his eye. That left Kaito with Aoko.

“He cried when he heard,” Aoko said.

“He loved Jii-chan,” Kaito said. Takumi was in front of the memorial, hands clapped together and his face screwed up like he was trying to will his prayer to reach Jii through sheer determination. It was uncomfortably similar to how Kaito used to stand in front of his father’s memorial as a kid, face screwed up as he promised he was working hard to be a magician.

“You’re drunk,” Aoko said, and Kaito realized she’d been studying him. Sober, he would have noticed immediately.

“I had a few drinks in Jii-chan’s memory,” Kaito said. “He ran a bar, Aoko, it’s how he’d have wanted it.”

“That doesn’t mean you should go get drunk.”

“Maybe you need a drink.”

Aoko glared at him.

Kaito held up his hands. “Fine. Stay sober.”

Aoko crossed her arms, clamped tight around her middle like she was holding herself together. “This shouldn’t have happened,” she muttered.

“No, it shouldn’t.”

“I know he was helping you,” she said, not looking at Kaito at all. “He’s the only one who could have been all these years.”

“I never denied it,” Kaito said tightly. His hands itched to fiddle with his cards or perhaps pour another drink. He settled for rolling the buttons on his cuffs between his fingers. Takumi’s serious expression had softened into something sadder. A bittersweet expression better fitting on an older face than a six year old’s.

“They killed him for it.”

“I know.”

“Like your father.”

“I _know._ ”

“Like they’re trying to kill you.” Aoko gave him a pointed look.

Kaito hissed out a breath between clenched teeth. “ _I know_ , Aoko.”

“Hasn’t stopped you from throwing yourself head first into danger.”

“Who the hell else is going to do anything, Aoko? The police? You? The police just arrested a man for mugging Jii when anyone with eyes could see that wasn’t what happened. The police can’t stop a damn sniper from showing up at heists. The police have done jack shit in getting rid of any of the crows.”

“Oh, because committing crimes is vigilantism and everyone knows how effective _that_ is,” Aoko said, scathing.

Kaito’s hands clenched into fists. He didn’t want to have this argument. Not again, and not here. “Drop it.”

“Kaito, Jii’s _dead_. How many more people are going to die before you’re satisfied?”

“Aoko, shut up,” Kaito said, teeth gritted.

“No. You’re out there on a grudge mission and who the hell is benefitting? Jii-chan was like a grandfather to you and he died for your damned selfishness. Who’s next Kaito? You? Me? My dad?”

“Dammit Aoko, not now!” Kaito’s throat hurt and he realized he’d just shouted. Everyone in the room was looking at them and he couldn’t grip his control at all in that moment. “This is a funeral,” he said, still loud, but not quite shouting, anger burning through him because couldn’t they just...just feel sad about losing Jii together for one moment? “If you’re going to get mad at me, you can leave.”

Aoko stared at him, and he realized this was one of the only times he’d raised his voice at her. Aoko yelled. Aoko was flashfire anger, outbursts that burned quick and died when she let that anger out. Kaito didn’t yell. Kaito tried not to ever yell at all even if he was angry, and he’d screwed up this time. In the mass of faces looking at them was Takumi, eyes wide with something a lot like fear. It hit like one of Aoko’s mop swings to the gut.

“Please,” Kaito tacked on, quiet again. “Not today.”

Aoko’s lips formed a tight line. “I’ll say what I need to say to Jii-chan and we’ll go.” She was across the room in a handful of strides and Takumi was still staring at Kaito like he’d never seen him before.

The other people in the room looked away, trying to pretend they hadn’t been staring and Kaito sat heavily in the closest chair.

It couldn’t have been more than a few minutes before Aoko was marching back toward the door. Takumi trailed after her, hesitant.

“We’ll talk later, Kaito,” Aoko said to him before she left. When Kaito offered Takumi a hug, he held on to Aoko’s hand and didn’t accept it.

That was another blow to Kaito’s heart. He’d messed up bad. When the door closed, Kaito buried his face in his hands for a moment. “Fuck.” Years of trying to at least look like he and Aoko didn’t fight in front of Takumi, years of keeping his voice down and not escalating things and he’d fucked it all up in one moment.

Was it the alcohol or his own emotions betraying him? Both? His patience finally reaching a limit? Why didn’t matter, it had happened either way. “What am I supposed to do with this mess, Jii-chan?” he mumbled to himself. Around him the funeral was continuing, people moving on from his family’s outburst and returning to celebrating Jii’s life.

Well, Kaito had already fucked up and he was already halfway to drunk. He might as well bury himself deeper. Kaito poured himself a new glass and forced himself to mingle with the other people. Jii would want to be celebrated so Kaito was damn well going to try.

***

Kaito gripped the toilet as his body did its best to physically remove his stomach via his esophagus. The alcohol burned twice as bad coming up as it had going down and left an even worse taste on his tongue. Ugh. He hadn’t had this bad of a hangover since... since maybe forever. Kaito hadn’t even drank that much at his own wedding. Ugh. Never again. He wasn’t touching alcohol ever again. Sorry, Jii, all of it went to paying customers only. Kaito would leave a bottle on his memorial instead of drinking a glass in his memory...

Ugh.

It would be bad enough to be glued to the toilet with his insides roiling, but Kaito’s conscience was nagging at him too. He’d been drunk when he argued with Aoko last night, but not so drunk that he didn’t remember Takumi’s fear or rejection. Fuck. Kaito was the worst father. He’d scared his kid and lost his temper and for what? Getting shitfaced in an ill-advised moment of trying to forget he existed? He deserved each and every moment of agony he was experiencing.

What had he been thinking?

Kaito had work in an hour. Work and then he had to take Jii’s ashes to his family grave. Kaito wiped his mouth as his stomach twisted again. No vomiting this time. Just a steady nauseated ache that filled his whole body. Tomorrow he was supposed to have Takumi for the day. He’d planned to take the day off work and spend it with his son at the zoo or something, following Jii’s advice to take a break back when they were planning a vacation. Kaito had put in the request for the day off and everything, but it was kind of hollow now. There was still the opportunity to make up for scaring Takumi. Put on his happy mask and do fun things and make Takumi laugh because hearing his laughter always made Kaito feel lighter inside.

He could fix this screw up even if—

Kaito shoved away from the toilet, flushing its contents like it would erase the last half hour from happening. Move, he had to move, get dressed, drink water and get out the door. Don’t linger in the kitchen with its unwashed dishes and the table where he’d laid out dozens of heist plans over the years. Don’t linger on the urn in his bedroom. Don’t linger on the new set of keys or paperwork to be filled out or any of the other official odds and ends that had been dumped on him. Definitely don’t linger on the photo hanging in the hall of Jii and Kaito and Aoko at Kaito’s wedding.

Somehow Kaito made it out the door and to work without being late. The glass of water had had middling success of staying down and the pill he took to counteract the headache only soured his stomach more, but he made it. Another day at work, another day his coworkers couldn’t see him hanging on to his sanity by the skin of his teeth.

He forgot to pack a lunch, but then he wasn’t really hungry anyway.

***

There were three heist plans spread across the table, all of them for the next month. He’d planned to have a break, but now it felt like if he stopped even for a moment, life would shatter apart at the edges. Takumi hadn’t come over on the weekend—Aoko said he didn’t want to come that week, and Takumi had agreed when Kaito asked to talk to him, and this wasn’t the first time this had ever happened, but for it to happen now... So no Takumi and still no Kaa-san around the house and too much time and space to himself just like in high school, Kaito had to fill it with something.

All of the heists were ones he’d started compiling information on a while ago, things Jii had gathered preliminary information on. Now Kaito would have to do all the legwork and research himself. This was fine. This was fine, he could handle it. The first was at the museum and he knew it so well by now that he could plan an exit at any point in the building in his sleep at this point. And the other two were owned by collectors and he’d been chipping away at figuring out the defenses on those for a while. There hadn’t been any callouts from Jiroukichi in a while so he should keep an eye out for challenges soon as that would be on schedule any time now...

Kaito lost himself in minutia, going over things with a fine toothed comb and composing the first of his heist notes bit by bit.

It was easy to lose track of time in Kid’s hidden room. Especially when there was no one there to drag him away from work.

Kaito wasn’t getting much sleep these days.

***

He’d said he wasn’t going to touch alcohol again, but that was a lie. Funny thing about being left a bar; there sure was a lot of alcohol in it. Jii’s whiskey glinted golden in the light, one light in the back because the bar was closed. Just Kaito and a bottle of imported whiskey and a heist note.

He needed to hire someone to run the bar. For now it made a nice place to be when he didn’t want to go home. The back room smelled like Jii—cigars and cologne and a particular brand of aftershave all mixed into one scent that lingered. Jii’d lived out of that back room. The bar was a home and a business and the back room was testament to it with its shelves of collector items and Jii’s futon folded away in the closet and his scent seeped into the tatami. The bar was Western, but the back room was Japanese. Jii’d served them tea under a kotatsu in the corner, peeling tangerines and plotting new magic tricks.

The room spun a bit as Kaito sat up from the floor. He didn’t remember lying down, but he must have at some point. There was the heist note. The note he meant to do something with tonight. Send it?

He used a children’s substitution cipher, worked it into a poetic format that read like a nonsense poem until you pieced its clues together. It mentioned blackbirds. Would anyone notice the significance? Would anyone care if they did? The police didn’t catch his watchers often. They were like literal shadows sometimes, more slippery than Kaito as Kid when they sent out the snipers, the professionals, the assassins, not just the run of the mill thugs.

The golden whiskey—no, it was amber, wasn’t whiskey always amber? Kaito couldn’t decide if that mattered or not—caught the light one last time before it slid down his throat. Gone. (More in the bottle, but—) Kaito set the glass down hard enough to smack over the bottle. It had its cap on though, nothing spilled, wow didn’t want to spill Jii’s whiskey. The room went a bit hazy on the edges, tilting as Kaito stood, or no, that was him tilting and he had better muscle control than that.

Steady. In control. His hands didn’t shake, his body didn’t waver. Deliver the note.

To who? Nakamori—no, too loud, bad choice. Not Aoko. Couldn’t be Aoko, Kaito couldn’t be around Aoko that would hurt worse and if he hurt worse—not Aoko. The owner? Too far, trains weren’t running this late. Maybe the paper, but the paper was last note and there was such a thing as too predictable and maybe he should choose a police member... Kudo! Kaito grinned, wavered in place a moment. Kudo hadn’t been to the last few heists and that wasn’t right, Kudo saw things better and he _noticed_ the shadows even if Nakamori didn’t and Kudo still owed him for helping take out the crime organization a few years back. Give Kudo a note and he had to come and that would make the heist harder, but that just meant Kaito would have to work harder and working harder meant less time feeling and Kaito wanted that even if it was too hazy right now to pinpoint why—

Jii.

Kaito frowned. The room was empty, just a light and a bottle and a glass and Kaito. It smelled like Jii and whiskey where Kaito spilled a bit pouring, though that was his sleeve not the room. Jii wasn’t there and Kaito was alone. His throat went tight and his hands went clammy and the room spun in a way that wasn’t from the alcoholic haze in his head.

Note. Note to Kudo and then home, sleep, work, heist.

Jii’s bar was closer to Beika than Kaito’s home. It was closer, but by the time he reached the Kudo manor, his head was a bit clearer, enough to wonder what the hell he was doing, but not so clear as to change his mind and back out.

Even drunk it wasn’t hard to avoid Kudo’s surveillance cameras. Kaito had visited before, a few times, all the way back in high school, and while the security was better than back then, it wasn’t _that_ much better. A light’s on in the study, and another upstairs. Kaito perched outside a second-floor window, glimpsing Kudo Ran in a night-light lit hallway pacing back and forth with a child in her arms.

Kudo had a daughter. Kaito’d forgotten that, but there she was, still a toddler, so little that it hurt to look at her because it brought up all sorts of memories. That had been Kaito once. Kaito, pacing with a crying Takumi, woken up by nightmares and Aoko living in the police dorms during her training so there had only been Kaito to hold him. Whispered words and hummed songs, little silly stories and soft reassurances in the dark until Takumi had calmed and slept again. Long, achingly exhausting nights that Kaito sometimes wished he could live again because for all that it had been hellishly difficult, it had been happier too. Simpler. Ran’s lips moved and Kaito could make out syllables of a lullaby.

He tore himself away, moving to the next window and the next with a clumsiness he blamed on the alcohol, then back down toward the glow of the study.

Kudo sat at a large wooden desk, paperwork strewn in front of him. Not that anything was getting done. Kudo kept starting to write then stopping and glancing at the door. If he wanted to check on his daughter, he should just check on his daughter.

Kaito fiddled with a pen in his pocket, filled with the urge to add a personal note to the heist note. Kudo should know not to waste what he had. If it was _Kaito_ he’d—

Kaito flattened himself to the wall as Kudo glanced up at the window. The light inside would make it hard to see anything outside, but the mirror effect meant nothing if Kaito was all but pressing his face against the glass.

Kudo stared for a minute before shaking his head. He rubbed at his eyes with the weariness of a man that didn’t get near enough sleep as he should. Kaito knew the feeling well.

 _Go_ , Kaito thought. _Go to Ran-san._ Lo and behold, Kudo did, giving his work a last look of distaste.

The light in the study went dark. It took a matter of seconds to get the window open and land amidst Kudo’s stacks of papers. Kaito staggered a bit on the landing, the room spinning a bit. Still drunk. The papers on the desk were gibberish until Kaito’s brain clicked and the writing resolved itself into English. English case files? He could pick out the words, but the meaning wasn’t forming a whole. Kaito gave up snooping and set the heist notice in the middle of Kudo’s desk where he’d be sure to find it when he went to do paperwork tomorrow morning.

Kaito always thought Kudo would be neater than this. Files, files everywhere, with an organization system only Kudo would know. They’d tell him what Kudo was up to now, but it wouldn’t give Kaito any information he could use. He tiptoed around them, back out the window and into the dark. He should leave now. Instead, Kaito climbed upward again.

Ran was still in the hall with the night light, but Kudo was there too, arms around her and gently running a hand over his daughter’s hair. Kaito ached inside alongside a bitter twist of jealousy. Stupid brain, he had no right to be jealous when he ruined things himself. _But Ran forgave Kudo. Why couldn’t Aoko forgive me?_

His hands hurt, clenched tight on the window frame. No wonder Kudo hadn’t been to many heists lately. He had this to come home to. This to protect. He didn’t need the distraction of Kid heists like he did once. Didn’t need the danger they could bring either.

Kaito could climb back down and take his note back, plant it somewhere else.

But Kudo dealt with murderers and Kid’s heists were no more dangerous than Kudo’s daily life most of the time.

If Kaito opened the window, waited for Kudo to let Ran put their daughter to bed, waited for him to turn and walk down the hall and find Kaito there, how would he react? With fear? Block off his wife and child and stand defensive in the hallway? Or would it be like in years past, when Kaito had time to bother him more? Would he roll his eyes and complain after that first tense moment of anticipation? Kaito’s hands itched to open the window, to see if Kudo saw Kaito as a threat or not. To see what would happen simply for the sake of curiosity.

He shifted in his perch and—slipped. He was falling before the sensation registered as falling, a beat too late to stop. Only muscle memory had his arm flinging out and catching a thin tree branch to slow the fall. It broke with a sharp crack, wrenching his arm and leaving him to smack face first into Kudo’s azalea bushes.

“Owww....” He hadn’t done something that clumsy since high school when he was constantly flying by the seat of his pants.

Upstairs, the window opened. Kaito flattened himself against the wall.

“...No, I don’t see anything. Maybe a tanuki?” Kudo’s voice said.

Adrenaline pushed the last of the alcohol haze away. Wait...wait... The window closed. Kaito dashed for the walls and was over them in record time. He was two blocks away before he realized he’d taken the tree branch with him. He left it at the next trash site he ran across.

Yet again, Kaito vowed not to drink that much anymore.

***

Normally Kaito felt at least a bit of a rush from heists. Even the ones he was least excited about brought on the adrenaline rush of a performance, the thrill of having eyes on him that would always happen because he was a performer at heart. Since Aoko joined the grunts in the Kid task force, though, that rush hadn’t been as sharp. Since Jii’s death, well, Kaito wasn’t feeling much of a rush at all.

There was still a flow of emotions animating his movements under his skin, but it wasn’t a performer’s high where everything came together in the moment. No, it was closer to desperation and the chilling certainty that he was always dancing on a knife’s edge these days. With Aoko, with Kid’s goals, with his own sanity.

His cape billowed white around him, snapping in the wind. Rooftops felt a bit like freedom. Jumping from them felt a bit like absolution.

Kudo stared him down, there before Nakamori or Aoko, one step ahead as always. That, at least, Kaito could rely on. He’d take what little slices of normality his life could get.

“I see you accepted my invitation,” Kaito said, pulling his hat at a better angle to shade his face.

“Considering you broke into my home to leave it...” Kudo said, trailing off as he narrowed his eyes. “What’s your game this time, Kid?”

“Game?” Kaito smiled. It was easier to smile with Kudo right there, easier to play the part when he had a foil to work against. “Can’t I just miss having you chase me? It’s been, what? Over half a year? You’d think I wasn’t your favorite thief anymore.”

Kudo huffed. “Kid, I work _homicides_.”

“Then this is like a vacation. With less bodies. Your vacations always end up bloody.”

For a moment Kaito thought he would get a smile from Kudo, but he got an eye roll instead. Pity. Kudo had a sense of humor unlike some other detectives Kaito knew. “Give the gem back, Kid,” Kudo said, one hand held out like he thought Kaito would comply. Oh such optimism. There was open air behind Kaito’s back and even with the search lights combing the wrong direction, there was nothing stopping him from jumping.

“Has that ever worked in all the time you’ve known me?” Kaito said.

“Mm, if you feel threatened enough.”

“You’re not chibi Inspector Gadget anymore; somehow you were more threatening a meter high with a soccer ball.”

That did get a flicker of a smile. Good. Good, something bright to spark a bit more life into the hollow thrill. Kudo had a gun. He didn’t aim it in Kaito’s direction though. Instead he...pointed? “Who says I don’t have any more gadgets, Kid?”

Kaito’s eyes widened as there was a flicker of something— He fell backward off the roof before whatever it was could hit, activating the glider. _That had been too easy. What was the catch?_ The air caught, jerking him from a plummet into a glide. Kudo was left standing on the edge of the roof, watching. No further attacks, no gunshot-cracks or stinging pain from a glancing blow. Far below police lights flashed blue and red in little clusters, lost to his misdirection. Their lights didn’t touch him here, and the bit of him wound tight since the start of the heist uncoiled. Kaito exhaled slowly, letting lingering tension leave his body.

Exhaustion creeped at the edges of his consciousness, but for now it was ignorable. Just fly a bit more, change to something less noticeable, and get home.

Halfway to his rest point, Kaito noticed a small white object on his sleeve, almost unnoticeable except that it was a shade too bright compared to his suit. A tracker, tiny and intricately made, and something that had to be Agasa’s work. Ha. Kudo almost had him there... Kaito made sure to slip it onto a neighborhood cat collar when he changed clothes; they liked to linger near a convenience store a block away and would lead Kudo on a frustrating chase.

***

Aoko was up late again, nursing a cup of coffee from what Kaito could tell from his vantage point. Doing paperwork, writing reports, some of them probably relating to the third heist he’d pulled this month. Kaito could almost feel the beat-up wooden kitchen table under his fingertips and smell the sour scent of coffee brewed too dark too long. Aoko would have her hair pulled back and the tired frown between her eyes and her free hand tapping away as she tried to put things into objective, unemotional accounts. Kaito used to sit across from her and see her get closer and closer to boiling over before doing something little, like a shoulder rub or refreshing her coffee with something better for her to get the persistent frown to melt away into a tired smile. There was no one to do that now.

Takumi slept upstairs, had been asleep for several hours now. He came over to Kaito’s home over the weekend, but he had spent most of his time with Kaito’s birds and none of Kaito’s attempts to engage him in things that would normally brighten his day had worked.

This wasn’t the first time this sort of thing had happened. Kaito knew that it was hard on Takumi whenever Aoko and Kaito were more at odds than usual but... It still hurt.

It felt like he was missing all the important things in Takumi’s life. He was in first grade, and his best friends were Momoi Shiemi and Fujitaka Gen, and right now Takumi loved frogs and sentai shows and anything he could learn on animal origami.  Last year it had been kites and things that flew and Kaito had helped him make a giant kite in the shape of a penguin because Takumi had insisted that penguins should get to fly.  But Kaito didn’t see the day to day. He didn’t see Takumi get excited on the first day of school or when he made a new friend. He didn’t see him come home every day and hear what he thought about each new thing he learned. Kaito heard it after the fact, on weekends when Takumi would rather draw pictures or go to the park or practice simple magic tricks than talk about things like school.

It was Kaito’s own fault he didn’t have that and life never stopped shoving it back in his face.

At the kitchen table, Aoko made an unhappy face at the taste of cold coffee. That was Kaito’s cue to leave. He could only get away with looking so long. Somehow, eventually, Aoko would notice and she’d be mad.

Sometimes Kaito needed to see them breathing to know what was real though.

***

_“I’m so sorry about Jii, Kaito. He was a good man...”_

“He was so much more than that,” Kaito said into the phone cradled in his hands. A phone call, not even a video call, but a phone call. He couldn’t even see her face to see how much she meant it, though she had to mean it. Jii was important to Kaa-san too. “Where were you? Where _are_ you, it’s been weeks—” He caught himself before his voice broke.

“ _I’m so so sorry, Kai-chan,_ ” his mother said, voice soft like it was when he was little. It was too little too late to soothe him now though. _“I should have called... My suitcase got lost and I only just got it back. I didn’t know. I didn’t know...”_

Kaito stared up at him father’s painting, the side with Toichi, not Kid, and Kaito was almost as old as his father had been when he had Kaito.  A few more years and he’d have outlived him age wise. A small, unfair part of him wondered if she would notice if he was the one that died tomorrow, not Jii. Chikage had been globe-trotting for years now, this wasn’t anything new, just a bit longer than they usually were out of touch for, just... He wanted to cry, but there weren’t tears to do so, just a clogged up feeling in his throat and a tight chest like when he’d broken a rib and he’d been wrapped in bandages for weeks. He breathed and it didn’t show at all.

_“...How are you holding up? Do you need me to come home?”_

_Yes_ , Kaito thought. _Yes_ and _Please_ and _I need someone so much right now_ , but what came out of his mouth was, “No.” Kaito marveled at how calm it came out. “No, I’m fine. I’ll be fine. You’re busy doing...” She hadn’t said what she’d been doing this time, or where she’d been going that led to losing her suitcase. “You’re busy. I can handle things. I’ve been handling them. Jii left me the bar and I hired someone to run it. I was thinking about hiring Momoi Keiko—you remember Keiko?—to keep track of stock and finances...” In his spare time—ha—Kaito was looking into what it took to run a business and what he’d need to know to make sure the bar was running properly. He’d moved anything Kid related far from Jii’s place and he’d managed most of the other trying details that death left behind. Paperwork. Emotional weight. Kaito managed for the last twelve years well enough without his mother to turn to at all times, he could do this now. “I’m fine.”

Part of him hoped she’d insist on coming home anyway.

The rest of him wasn’t really surprised that by the end of the call he still didn’t know when she would be back home.

***

Blueprints and messily handwritten notes laid spread about the table. Kaito’s pencil tapped at an increasingly rapid tempo as he scowled at the executive office diagram. “It’s like they designed the room to be as restricted to get to as possible. Not only is it the top floor, it only has one window of bulletproof glass, and can only be accessed by a private elevator.” The CEO had recently obtained an ornate antique clock set with large gemstones at four quarters of the clock face, and of course he’d chosen to have it displayed in his office. An office that was ridiculously secure. The man had to be paranoid. Maybe justifiably paranoid if he’d risen to his position under suspicious means, but that wasn’t Kaito’s main concern.

“Ugh...” _Tap-tap-taptap-taptaptap._  “I could probably impersonate an employee to get in there, but that’s the first thing they’d be looking for. Maybe if I climbed the elevator shaft...? Jii, what do you—” The tapping died as Kaito froze, realizing his mistake. He stared blankly at the papers in front of him for a moment. “Shit. Right,” he said. “Right.”

The silence he’d momentarily forgotten felt too loud. The house was too big, the rooms too empty. There were photos of dead men on the walls in the hallway and all the decorations were chosen by a woman that spent less than a full month a year in the house. The pencil lead snapped under the pressure of Kaito’s hand.

“Right,” he repeated under his breath.

He clicked out a new length of lead.

It was harder to get back to work now that he’d remembered he was alone.

***

It felt a bit like when Takumi was a toddler; Aoko at the police dorms and Kaito juggling school, a baby, and Kid all at once. Only now it was Kaito juggling work, attempts at bonding with his son, and filling every spare hour he had with Kid until it felt like he was more Kid than Kaito. Kaito had loss and family struggles hanging over his head. Kid had targets and research and traps to funnel energy into and Kaito was funneling more energy into them than he had in the last five years.

If he held still too long, the world would catch up to him, so he kept going. Delved into gem trade records and museum collection records. Scrounged through rumors and imports and legends. He ran through blueprints and pieced together traps and smoke bombs and a new knock out gas. He constructed new tricks and practiced them until he saw them in his sleep. Mirrors, wires, speakers, training doves to go to new places and carry new things.

Kaito sent his attention in a dozen directions and felt each new task stretch him a little bit thinner. He was caught in the arc of shuffled cards but he didn’t know who held the deck or what card would come out on top.

He’d learned how to balance things, once. He knew how to take breaks and appreciate little moments and build relationships with coworkers and informants and what not. Kaito had learned to enjoy early mornings with cups of coffee and the sound of doves waking up in their roosts and the orange glow of the sun peeking over the horizon. There weren’t any of those moments now. He slept when his body gave out and he woke to the shrill of his phone alarm with enough time to get to work. He ate a lot of take away and instant meals when he remembered to eat at all, and it was only in the moments Takumi was there that time seemed to slow into anything resembling the calm he’d found.

It was better this way though. It was better because Kaito would rather keep busy, burn himself out, than find out what would happen if he stopped moving.


	2. Burn Out Quick Pace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which Kaito's stalker tendencies are getting out of hand, Kaito is becoming borderline alcoholic in his escapism attempts, and propositions are made.

 

Kudo’s family left Kaito with that same itch to move under his skin as he got whenever he let himself linger over anything lately. Kaito saw him laugh with Ran, saw him bounce his daughter on his lap until she was giggling, saw him frown over case files and curl up next to his wife at the end of the night. Kaito knew what it felt like to have Kudo’s focus. He knew what it felt like to have Ran’s focus too, both of them locked onto him with righteous fury in their eyes and determination to follow through. In some way he’d always associate that sort of look with Aoko, mop swinging as she took his bait. Kudo and Ran orbited each other with a warmth and gentleness that was a lot different from Kaito’s newlywed days, but at the same time he could have stepped into Kudo’s place and it would have felt like picking up memories where they left off.

In the bedroom, Kudo turned out the light, silhouetted for one moment against the window.

Kaito didn’t want to take his place. It wasn’t that kind of jealousy or longing. It was closer to how he felt when he watched Aoko reading Takumi a bedtime story, knowing that in another life he could walk through the door and join her there and bask in the feeling of being surrounded by people he loved. Aoko wouldn’t love him like that again though. And watching Kudo and his family didn’t mean he would ever be able to have that belonging there either.

A cynical snort bust from him before he could control it. No, Kudo wouldn’t welcome him to talk let alone him or Ran give Kaito a look with even a fraction of the affection shared between them.

Kaito needed to stop wanting things he couldn’t have.

He slipped from his perch and into Kudo’s study. The case files there were different from last time. No English and all murders from the look of them. Always murders. Kudo found enough death on his own; Kaito would never understand why he’d seek out more on top of that.

He hesitated a second before he set down the next heist note. Kudo made things better at heists, enough that Kaito wanted him there to give that extra bit of focus so there was nothing else but the moment filling Kaito’s whole being. Kudo also was the best to have on hand if snipers showed up because he’d actually take notice and was better positioned to do something than Nakamori-keibu. But having Kudo there was selfish and Kudo had this to come home to. He had his wife and daughter and a large, familiar home. Kaito bit his lip.

Well, Kudo didn’t _have_ to come even if Kaito left the note here. It was his choice.

Kaito set the note on top of Kudo’s reading glasses—a recent purchase, but no surprise given how many late nights Kudo spent poring over documents. On impulse, Kaito added a doodle of Conan. _Tantei-kun grew up_. He could see Kudo’s aggravated expression already. Pity he wouldn’t be able to see it in person.

It was easier to leave Kudo’s property sober than it was drunk. He didn’t really have the alcohol to excuse stalking Kudo though.

***

Nakamori-keibu’s inarticulate yell of rage echoed in Kaito’s head and down the elevator shaft. Even with the doors closed, it was loud, matching the pounding in his head. He’d had to change tactics at last moment, new information coming into play only the night before the heist and almost rendering his plans impossible. Kaito had sacrificed sleep to make up for it and he felt it now with each moment of strain on his limbs and each too-fast beat of his heart.

There had been a second where Kaito thought he wasn’t going to make it into the elevator shaft. He’d seen Nakamori-keibu too close, and his task force in the background, Aoko among them and the moment of panic had given him that extra boost to move just that little bit faster. Now, the elevator doors would be locked down until they could get someone to fix the rewiring Kaito had done to the mechanism.

Kaito took a moment, suspended in the dark, to breathe. The clock he had stolen was heavy in his arms. Ideally he would have taken the gems from it and left the clock, but there had been no time. When he got to a safe house—

He blinked his eyes open. Tired as he was, an elevator shaft wasn’t the place to rest, not when it was a wire and a harness keeping him from a long drop.

The motor keeping the wire moving whirred in his ears as he went down, down, not to the ground floor but a few floors above it. Nakamori had to have the officers on the lower levels at alert now. Kaito would have to impersonate one and make his way out. He had a decoy ready for this. Wedge the door open carefully, slide into the hallway and find a corner, change into the hidden uniform with the clock hidden in a false belly. Move like he was supposed to be there and no one tended to think twice. It was all how it was supposed to go despite the change in plans. Out the window the decoy was moving away from the sixth floor and Kaito could hear a shout go up as officers took notice. Kaito joined them, no one noticing one more person exclaiming over Kid’s escape.

Follow them down to the ground floor, listening to Nakamori-keibu’s orders with one ear and moving like he was joining the pursuit. Kaito let go of some of his tension. The only thing he couldn’t quite let go of was the fact that Kudo hadn’t been upstairs with Nakamori despite the heist note’s personal delivery.

The change in defenses had Kudo written all over it, but there hadn’t been any sign of him. Kudo was a busy man; maybe that had been all he could contribute.

Kaito peeled away from the pack of police officers, quick changing to a drunken business man on his way home, the police uniform turning inside out to be a suit jacket. The stagger wasn’t as much of an exaggeration as it could have been. Kaito really did feel like his limbs would go out of line if he stopped paying attention to where he put them. The clock stayed hidden on the larger frame disguise. Kid had gotten away again.

Kaito was still in disguise a few blocks later when he passed a familiar figure at the side of the road, heading on foot toward the heist site. Kudo, his hair almost as messy as Kaito’s was naturally and a harried expression on his face. Too late to join the heist, but seeing him settled some tiny part of Kaito that had missed his presence. Kaito walked past Kudo without him even knowing that Kid was there within arm’s reach. _Too slow, Kudo_ , Kaito thought. _Better luck next time_. But best luck to Kid; Kaito had no intention of getting caught any time soon.

***

Everything was going _wrong_. Damn Jiroukichi and his challenges. Damn Kaito for taking them. Damn the world for leaving him with no choice but to destroy any semblance of a sleep schedule to fit in heist research and civilian work all on his own. He couldn’t do this, he couldn’t keep doing this, this was insane—

Kaito’s lungs burned from running.

There had been an electrical trap that he hadn’t gotten intel on, one that almost fried him except he’d heard the hum of the current right before he made the mistake of touching it. He’d ruined his grapple kit in the process of getting around that. Then things went even worse and the sniper showed up and he might have missed Kaito, but Jirokichi would have one hell of a scar on his shoulder where the bullet had winged him.

Things had erupted into chaos with that and Kaito had used that, of course he’d used that. It wasn’t enough to throw off Kudo though. The staticky voices over the police broadband hissed in one ear and the rest of his hearing was filled with his pants and the heavier footfalls of Kudo keeping up with him stride-for-stride no matter how Kaito tried to take unexpected twists and turns through the maze-like building Jirokichi had chosen to host his heist at.

Kaito lobbed a knock out gas bomb behind him, but he already knew that would be useless. At best it might slow down more tentative pursuers among the task force, the dispersed gas not enough to render them unconscious, but enough to cloud their mind and take the edge off their chase. Sure enough, Kudo burst through the cloud with something cupped over his face, ever prepared.

Sometimes Kaito hated Kudo’s gadgets.

Everything ached.

Kaito ran up a set of stairs and to the right, sure that this was the correct turn that led to one of the trick doors the owner had installed, but instead he found a dead end hallway and two doors across from each other. It took a split second for his brain to catch the mistake in his recollection of the layout and that split second was enough time for Kudo to round the corner.

Their eyes met for a heartbeat before Kaito lunged for the left-hand door. He tumbled into a windowless room filled with dusty, covered furniture. There was no hope in barricading the door; it opened outward, not in, and Kaito had just let himself into a room with no exits. The door banged open again and Kudo blocked out the light from the hallway, breathing hard and a triumphant look on his face.

Kaito forced himself to look calm and in control, never mind his breath wanting to rip its way from his throat and his heart beating too fast. “Kudo,” Kaito said.

“Kid.” Kudo’s gaze flicked around the room. “You messed up.”

“Did I?” Kaito smirked. “Maybe I have a trap here. Maybe you played into my hands perfectly.”

Kudo snorted. “I’ve seen through your bluffs from the first time you tried to pull off Ran. You’re not going to fool me.”

“Pity.” Kaito gritted his teeth and dove at Kudo.

Kudo held his ground and blocked the elbow aimed at his face easily enough. Kudo had a bit of martial arts knowledge didn’t he? Or had it just rubbed off from his wife? Either way, he had the advantage, braced against the door frame, and Kaito’s momentum went nowhere.

 _Smoke bomb_ , Kaito thought, twitching his wrist to release one from the glove pockets, but Kudo was faster. Kudo’s leg shot out and slammed into Kaito’s ankle, destabilizing his balance. With a twist of his hips and shoulder, Kudo slammed them to the ground. Air rushed from Kaito’s lungs. The glider frame dug into his back painfully and his ankle was bruised if not worse from that move. He twisted, choking for breath as Kudo tried to get a set of cuffs on his wrist.

“Really—Kudo!” Kaito wheezed. Wrist holds were easy to break, but not when his hands were level with his shoulders and held down with the full force of an adult man’s body weight. “So—violent!”

“Says the man—who _tazered_ a child.” Kudo grit his teeth, breathing almost as hard as Kaito was as his arms strained to keep him pinned.

“Not a child,” Kid pointed out. “And it was modified.” He forced his breathing under control and his body to stop struggling in the appearance of surrender. “You hold a grudge for over ten years, Kudo?”

“That one always bugged me.” Kudo grinned, obviously pleased with himself for catching Kaito.

It should piss Kaito off. Instead it froze the breath in his lungs and made his skin feel hypersensitive, every bit of Kudo’s weight distributed across him suddenly impossible to ignore.

Kudo didn’t notice his stillness, still grinning in triumph. “Nothing to say about being caught, Kid?” One side of the cuffs was snug around Kaito’s wrist, trapping his glove to his skin, but that meant nothing. The other end attached to Kudo meant nothing either. Kaito’d been escaping this scenario for years between Aoko and Hakuba and once Nakamori cuffing him to their side.

Kudo meant a lot more than a pair of cuffs. It was the person, not the metal that was the threat. He might have a sedative or could kick or...or...

“Kid?” Kudo frowned.

Dimly, Kaito wondered whether his face was actually as blank as it felt. Surely all that training meant something? Kudo was starting to look concerned and that was too strange to even consider. Kaito licked his lips and Kudo’s eyes followed the motion, seeing way more than Kaito was comfortable with.

“I...” Kaito wanted to just...close his eyes. Not even the fear churning in his gut at being caught was enough to shake off the bone-deep exhaustion. He grabbed at mental masks, personas, something. “I could say a lot of things, Kudo-san,” he said, voice coming out a little rough, a little breathless, and far more suggestive than intended. Kudo’s eyes went huge. Fuck it, Kaito would roll with it. It wasn’t like he’d failed to notice that Kudo and his wife were equally attractive or that they had equally nice legs. Legs on his. Legs he should be trying to escape from. Kaito licked his lips again, this time deliberately, noting the slight flush in Kudo’s cheeks. “You caught me, Meitantei, now what exactly are you planning on doing now that you have me?”

“Wh-whaaa?”

“It’s been a while but I wouldn’t mind someone warm next to me.” Somehow that came out sultry. Tired Kaito had about as insane of ideas as drunk Kaito and neither could be trusted.

“You-This—I’m married!”

“I’m sure Ran-chan wouldn’t mind having me at her mercy.” Not even a joke; she had plenty of reason to want to get back for some of the stunts he’d pulled. Between her and Kudo, Kaito had spent too many years inserting himself in their lives at random moments to not get at least a little attached. The same twinge he’d felt watching Kudo and Ran interact with their daughter rose in him and he lost the flirtatious act as genuine wistfulness bled through. “You’re a lucky man, Kudo. You can go home to your family tonight and sleep happy whether you catch me or not. I’d love to be able to do that.” Kaito twisted his face into a familiar grin and brought it back to flirting because otherwise it was a bit too raw. “I’d settle for a night sharing that experience.” He gave an exaggerated wink and Kudo’s face went red as his favorite sweater.

It was easy, so easy to slip his hand out of Kudo’s grip and free himself from the cuff, easier still to catch the still-mentally-flailing detective with a face-full of sleeping gas. Kaito caught him before he face planted, rolling Kudo on his side so if he experienced any of the possible side effects of the gas, he at least wouldn’t wake up choking.

Kaito smoothed down a lock of Kudo’s hair, abnormally messy from wrestling with each other. “What the hell am I doing?” Kaito asked no one, or maybe he asked Kudo. Kudo could probably tell better than Kaito at the moment. Kaito cuffed Kudo to the leg of a cloth-covered sofa and dusted himself off. There was still no sign of Nakamori’s men, and if they hadn’t found him by now, they weren’t going to find him before he escaped.

Once he was in order and as put together as his exhausted body could manage, Kaito moved for the door. He stopped before he even got to it. On a whim, he turned back to Kudo. Kudo wasn’t unattractive and tonight hadn’t been the first time he’d noticed, but most of the time Kaito avoided situations that led to gratuitous bodily contact. Usually he tried not to let on that he found both genders attractive; let people see him as a flirt and a ladies’ man, it was all part of Kid’s persona. Kudo was probably going to go in circles wondering if it was just a head game when he woke up, so why not...?

Kaito pulled roses from his sleeve, both red. _For you and your lady_ , he wrote with a caricature signing it. It would have Kudo questioning Kid’s motives for days and was a tiny bit of honesty among the lies.

Kaito left before Kudo could begin to wake up, finding the right window with a bit of backtracking and making it back to Jii’s apartment to collapse for the night.

Tomorrow, he thought, surrounded by Jii’s fading scent. Kaito would try to keep to a better schedule tomorrow because he couldn’t keep doing this.

***

Kaito supposed showing up repeatedly outside someone’s home and watching them through the window counted as stalking. Most people frowned on stalking. Aoko definitely frowned on stalking. And more than frowned. Metaphorically curb-stomped over stalking. Kaito knew his own opinions on the matter were heavily skewed and had everything to do with intention behind said stalking, and at this point it was too ingrained in his habits for him to have any moral qualms about it.

It did occur to him that Kudo probably had an opinion much closer to Aoko on the subject, but he couldn’t help it. Watching Kudo do something mundane and family centric had become both calming and upsetting and it felt like the latest stop-gap addiction keeping him from more self-destructive outlets. It was almost as calming as watching Takumi work through homework problems or play some elaborate plot out with his toys.

Kaito was literally just watching Kudo and his wife do dishes and he felt more peaceful than he had anywhere else that week excepting the hours spent in his dovecote or watching Takumi coloring pictures of that sentai show he liked. It was like he was living vicariously through them in these moments and he could admit it was more than a little fucked up.

Kudo’s shoulders twitched as he rinsed a dish, glancing toward the window, and Kaito knew that his time of active watching was up; Kudo had an even more acute ability to tell if he was being watched than Aoko did.

He flopped back on Agasa’s roof. There were so many other things he should be doing right now. Taking care of finances. Checking that Jii’s bar was being run right. Researching for a tricky bit of restoration at work. Planning a day trip to try and repair his relationship with Takumi. Finishing the research on the next heist target so he could steal the gem on the full moon. Sleep. Sleep was probably high up on that priority list considering what sleep deprivation had had him do at the last heist, but...

Kudo had finished the dishes and was carrying his daughter upstairs. Ran lingered in the kitchen, elbows on the windowsill as she looked out into the night.

Kudo didn’t seem to be unnerved by what happened. Heck, he probably didn’t even think about it beyond chalking it up to Kid once again playing any card he could to get away. There wasn’t a chance he’d realized part of Kaito meant that little bit of flirtation.

Kaito grimaced. Sure, proposition a married man. It wasn’t like he had enough poor choices filling his life. Ran would try to take his head off the next time they were within sight line for sure for that.

At the Kudo residence, Ran had wandered outside, standing barefoot in the dewy grass of her back yard. What was she doing? Despite himself, Kaito felt curiosity tugging him to be stupid and reckless like it always did. He hesitated a handful of seconds before slipping off the professor’s roof and ghosting over to the wall separating the two estates. Below, Ran crossed her arms, rubbing her hands up and down over her thin robe to warm them. She came to a stop under the tree Kaito fell from only a few weeks before.

“Kid-san?” she said. Kaito froze, barely breathing as she stared into the dark to the right of where he was hiding. “I suppose it’s Kid-san,” Ran said, half to herself, half to Kaito like she wasn’t entirely sure he was there or not. “If it’s not, then I’m going to feel pretty stupid.”

Kaito held his breath, waiting.

Ran glanced around the dark again. “I don’t know what it is that has you here so often lately, or why you keep watching, but we’ve noticed.” She snorted adding drily, “Shinichi definitely noticed. You’re not helping the paranoid side of him any. If you’re going to watch, maybe actually visit. I can’t guarantee I won’t try to kick you if you surprise me but it has to be better than sitting out in the dark.” Ran rubbed at her arms again, shivering. It was starting to get colder at nights the closer it got to autumn. “Think about it? I don’t think Shinichi would mind either...” She waited for a response but there was nothing but the occasional soft chirring of a cricket in the grass. She sighed. “Well, I said my piece, either you heard it or you didn’t.” She glanced up at the glow of the nursery window and turned back toward the house. “Goodnight, Kid. And for goodness sake, stop staring so much.”

Kaito’s breath rushed out of him the second the door closed behind her. His arms and legs felt like mush, barely holding him on his perch. What the hell was that? An open invitation? A trap...? There was Ran up in the nursery with Kudo.  Then the light was off and everything was dark and still.

What did that even mean? Kudo wouldn’t mind? Would Kudo mind in light of Kaito practically propositioning him last time? Did Ran even know about that? Kaito shook himself and climbed down onto the street. He wasn’t going to take Ran up on that offer, not when he’d probably misinterpret its intentions.

***

“Hi Kaito-jisan!” Shiemi launched herself at Kaito the second the door opened. Kaito caught her on reflex well used to this sort of behavior from her. “Did you bring Takumi? Are you going to show more magic tricks? Can you show me how to _do_ more magic tricks? I wanna make birds too.”

Kaito smiled and let her hang off his arm. Her hair was in two bushy ponytails at the moment, puffing out like pompoms stuck to the side of her head. With the gaps in her teeth right now, she looked adorable. Sadly he wasn’t here to take her and Takumi on a playdate today. “Sorry, Shiemi-chan, it’s just me today. I have to talk to your mother for a bit okay?” Kaito caught Keiko’s eye. She’d stayed clear of the door, anticipating her daughter’s antics. As usual, Keiko didn’t give what she was feeling away. Ah, for the high school days where she was as open a book as Aoko. Of all the things to change, Keiko’s shift into serious and quiet hadn’t been one he’d seen coming. None of them had expected her to have a kid either though, so...

Keiko waved him inside her tiny apartment. “I think she’s been missing her favorite babysitter,” Keiko said without inflection. It could be meant as a rebuke; Kaito hadn’t been around much lately or taken Takumi and Shiemi out in a long time. Or it could be meant at face value. Since Keiko didn’t like him much these days, Kaito interpreted it as the former.

“I remember reading something about an art festival at the park this weekend, maybe she would be free to go to it with Takumi and me?”

“Hmm.” Keiko looked the other way when her daughter gave her pleading puppy eyes. “We’ll see come Friday.”

“That’s a yes,” Shiemi whisper-shouted.

Keiko shook her head, but Kaito saw a smile on her face before she wiped it blank again. “Shiemi, I need to have a talk so go play okay?”

Shiemi huffed, but let go of Kaito’s arm. She made a big production of walking to the other side of the apartment where several picture books from the library were set open on the floor. Keiko watched her pointedly until Shiemi picked one up and made efforts toward reading it. Shiemi still darted looks in their direction once her mother turned away again.

“How private a talk do you need?” Keiko asked.

“It’s fine. It doesn’t matter if she overhears anything.” It was hard to not overhear when it was a one room apartment. “I just needed to ask you about some things.”

“Ask away,” Keiko said. She leaned against the counter, arms crossed.

Kaito scrubbed the back of his head. “So, Aoko probably mentioned Jii died.”

“Yes. Sorry to hear about it, he was a nice person the couple times I met him.”

“Yeah.” Kaito didn’t really want to talk about Jii’s death or receive any more sentiments about it. Thankfully Keiko wasn’t one to dwell on that sort of thing these days. “He left me his bar. I’ve had the same employees coming and working their shifts and the manager keeping track of things, but Jii kept track of finances and did the day to day running of the business and I don’t really have any experience with that. Since you’ve worked at a bar or two before and are good with finances and management, I was wondering if you had any advice.”

“Well, for one, if you can’t take care of it yourself, it might be a good idea to sell it to someone who can. Running a business is a big commitment and you already work fulltime.”

Kaito winced. She cut right to the point, didn’t she? “And if I want to keep it?”

“Hire someone to run it for you,” Keiko said. “Obviously. You could figure that out on your own just fine. What do you really want?”

“Do you want the job of running it?” Kaito asked.

“With what time? I work two jobs already.”

“You could work it instead of them. I’d pay you what you were making.”

Keiko didn’t look impressed. Across the room Shiemi was suspiciously quiet. “While working less hours would be nice, I’m not so sure I want you as a boss, Kaito-san. That would make a complicated situation even more complicated.”

“Right.” Damn. He’d hoped she would take it, but he could already tell that she would refuse just about any spin he put on it.

“But,” Keiko said, taking sympathy on him, “I can recommend someone for the job. For a price.” She smiled.

Kaito laughed. “Sure. Fair enough. I don’t have near the time needed to properly interview people right now.”

“Just pay me for the time of convincing her and it’ll go fine. She’s a friend.”

“A friend or a _friend_?” Kaito asked, curious.

“A friend, dummy,” Keiko said, rolling her eyes. “Shiemi, I can tell you’re not reading over there.”

The library book shot up, blocking them from view as Shiemi pretended to read again.

“Brat,” Keiko said fondly. “Alright, Kaito-san, you have a deal. Though that deal is going to cost you a week’s worth of my wages.”

Kaito wasn’t supposed to know how much that was, but they both knew he had an idea of that amount. It wasn’t outside what he could afford since he was back to living in his family home. “I’ll transfer you the money later.”

“Great. Now I have to get ready for my shift so...”

“Right, I’ll head out. See you, Shiemi-chan!”

“You’re going already?” Shiemi asked, dismayed as only small children could manage, on the edge of pulling out tears to keep him there longer. She knew exactly what she was doing.

“Next time I visit it will be just to see you,” he promised.

“I’ll call you Friday,” Keiko said as she showed him out, “about the festival.”

“So that’s a yes?” Kaito asked under his breath.

Keiko shoved him out the door. “Check with Aoko if Takumi-kun wants to go first.”

“That’s a yes,” Kaito said as the door closed in his face. He laughed for a moment because that had been delightfully normal and Shiemi was always great. It trailed off as he remembered that Takumi might not want to go despite it being something he’d enjoy.

***

There was a gap, a moment to breathe between everything. Between work and being a father and Jii’s things and Kid. A day, two days, and Kaito had decided in that gap that he couldn’t stand being at home. He grew up there, lived there more years than not, and with Kid’s hidden room he was there so often it wouldn’t make too much of a difference if he had been living somewhere else.

Kaito went into the living room and there was Toichi’s painting and photos of his shows and news clippings, all built up like the shrine his family didn’t keep—there was irony in that; they weren’t religious but that room was a worship to Toichi in its own way. The offerings were magic tricks and the true place of worship was Kid’s room. It was something he hadn’t really thought of in high school, but since he moved back in, he’d realized how strange it was. How little he or his mother had ever let go. Kaito definitely hadn’t since he was out there in white playing target in his father’s memory, but his mother? Maybe Kaito got that trait from her.

The house was too big for just him and it had been too big when he was younger too, but somehow it never felt so bad when there was Aoko always coming over and they filled it with the sheer force of their personalities. No Aoko now, and with only Takumi every now and again, it wasn’t enough to make it feel lived in. Kaito was barely there.

Home wasn’t home anymore and the world still felt like it was spinning a bit off axis.

Kaito felt disquiet buzzing through him, as if something had been building for a long time but it was only bursting out of him now that there was nothing to focus on. He couldn’t be here any longer. He couldn’t sleep in his old bedroom and walk the same hallways and pretend that things hadn’t changed.

He left, walking without a destination in mind just so long as it was away. Away from the home he grew up in, away from everything. He found himself outside a run-down apartment complex with a vacancy sign an unknown amount of time later, staring at the sign like it was a lifeline. The building wasn’t far from the elementary school and it wasn’t too far from the Kuroba home, and wasn’t too far from Aoko either. He should go home, do research, compare places like he would strategizing heist locations for the best one for his needs.

Twenty-eight minutes later, Kaito left the apartment complex with a lighter bank account, a promise to retroactively send along character recommendations, and a key to his new two bedroom apartment.

Kaito wasn’t sure what the hell he was doing anymore.

***

Aoko found him slumped face down on Jii’s bar. He’d had two—no, more? More than two—drinks but he must have kept drinking. The world got a bit fuzzy sometime after the second glass of whiskey and he’d only planned to have the one drink, but everything was so much...less. Less sharp, less painful, just a blurry fog up until Aoko propped him upright and took the mostly empty glass from his hand.

“Oh, Kaito,” she said. She didn’t look mad. Kaito couldn’t remember why he thought she would be.

“Aoko,” Kaito said listing against her. She smelled nice. Like home and that melon body-wash she liked. “Aoko,” he said again because he liked the shape of her name on his lips. “Ao-ko.”

“You’re a mess,” she said. She levered him to his feet and the world spun in a rush of blurry colors and dim, smoky light. He clung to her shoulders. “A complete mess,” she muttered as he draped himself on her.

“Yup,” Kaito agreed. He wasn’t sure how to walk and wasn’t that funny? He could walk a tightrope and fly a glider from a sky scraper but he couldn’t figure out whether to put his left or his right foot forward. Or was it the other way around?

Aoko sighed. “Come on Bakaito. Let’s get you home.”

“Don’t wanna.” It was nice, Aoko didn’t let him hug her like this anymore, she was nice, he didn’t want to go home, this was better.

“How much have you been drinking?” Aoko asked, but it didn’t sound like she was actually expecting an answer and Kaito didn’t have one anyway. She was strong, strong enough to pull him staggering along out of the bar and down the road, strong enough to hold up most of his weight. She was always so strong and sometimes it felt like Kaito was the weak one. “You’re an idiot,” she said, and Kaito realized he must have said some of that out loud.

Wow, he was drunk. “I’m drunk,” he said to Aoko.

“Yes. Yes you are.”

“At least I’m not stalking anyone this time.”

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.”

“Aoko.”

“...”

“Aoko.”

“...”

“Aoko!”

“What?” Aoko snapped. “Kaito, don’t yell in my ear.”

“Aoko, why are you here?” Aoko hated him, Kaito remembered.

“Because there’s no one else to get you,” Aoko said.

Oh. Kaito went quiet, letting her lug him along with as much cooperation as he could get from his disobedient limbs.

“Aoko.”

“What Kaito?”

“Jii’s dead.”

“...I know Kaito.” Aoko sighed.

“Kaa-san missed the funeral. She’s still in Vegas. Probably.”

Aoko didn’t say anything to that. Kaito let the world go blurry and vague, Aoko’s arms holding him up the only things that felt real at the moment.

Aoko didn’t like Kaito and Kaito was an idiot for a lot of reasons. Aoko hating him was Kaito’s fault for one. Takumi hating him was Kaito’s fault too. Kaito kind of hated Kaito. “I’m a shit parent,” he said to a stop sign.

Aoko grunted as he listed to the side, bracing them to keep standing. She didn’t say he wasn’t a shit parent though. So Kaito had to be right about that.

“I don’t want to go home,” Kaito said again somewhere sometime later. He couldn’t focus enough to take in where they were and it didn’t really matter either since Aoko knew where they were. He’d closed his eyes at some point and the world was just as disorienting blind as it was with his eyes open.

“Tough,” Aoko said.

“ ‘s too quiet...” He hated it. But Aoko hated him. Why was she carrying him? Right, he was drunk. Kaito was an idiot. “ ‘m sorry,” Kaito mumbled into Aoko’s shoulder.

“Shut up, Kaito,” Aoko said, but it almost sounded gentle.

The next thing Kaito knew, he was in his kitchen and the room swayed around him—or was he swaying. Aoko pushed him in a chair and forced him to drink water, all the while weirdly patient with him. The world was a bit less blurry, enough to focus on her straightening things up in his kitchen in the absent way she’d done back in high school. Back-forth. Back-forth. “Why aren’t you angry?” he asked, more coherent now.

Aoko stopped checking if his kitchen towel was dirty. “I’m angry, Kaito, but I’m more tired than angry. Finish that water.”

He finished the water. It made his stomach churn unpleasantly but it left his head clearer. “I’m sorry,” Kaito repeated. This time for the trouble she’d had getting him home.

“Don’t apologize when you don’t mean it.”

“I do mean it.”

“Then don’t apologize if you would do it again.”

Kaito didn’t know how to answer that. Aoko hadn’t stood in this kitchen in years. She looked out of place there now.

She sighed. “Come on, Kaito. Let’s get you to bed.”

He followed her without protest until he was in his room. He thought she looked around, but Kaito was too busy collapsing onto his bed to think too much about it or what incriminating evidence might be strewn about. Aoko pushed him on his side and he whined in the back of his throat, eyes already closed.

“You’re sleeping on your side. I don’t want you drowning in your own vomit, Bakaito.” A blanket covered him. “You’re a mess. When was the last time you did laundry?”

“Dunno.”

Aoko sighed again. She did her own laundry now. It used to be Kaito did it while watching Takumi because Aoko had the full-time job before he did. Aoko still cooked better than he did though. Kaito drifted toward sleep but jolted from it when he heard her moving away. He reached out without thinking, latching on to her shirt hem.

“Don’t go,” he said, feeling small and overwhelmingly like he was a child again.  Aoko gently unhooked his fingers.

“You don’t want me to stay,” she said, soft like when Takumi had nightmares.

“I always want you to stay,” he said. His vision was too blurry to see her expression but her hands squeezed his tight before letting go.

“You’re going to regret saying that in the morning.” Aoko paused. “If you even remember saying it.”

“I won’t.”

“Goodnight, Kaito.” She tucked the edges of the blanket in and smoothed hair back away from his blurry eyes. Then she was gone and Kaito was left hugging a pillow as a chasm of loneliness and nausea took the place of floaty exhaustion. He waited, straining to hear her, to know if she was gone or would come back. He was still waiting when sleep caught up with him.

***

Hangovers sucked and Kaito was seriously avoiding alcohol after this. Seriously. Jii had permission to smack him from beyond the grave for being dumb. He hadn’t even meant to do that this time. Blah. Yeah, not even a little drinking until he knew he had his head on straight again. It was a slippery, slippery alcohol-soaked slope.

And now he owed Aoko on top of everything and she was probably going to hold that over him. He didn’t really need to give her any more ammunition there.

“You doing okay over there?” Miyuri asked from her work station.

Kaito groaned.

Miyuri kicked her rolling chair closer. “Are you getting sick or did you have a wild night yesterday?”

“If by wild you mean angst-drinking by myself...”

“Well shit, next time you need a drinking buddy call me up. I’m down to get maudlin over shitty alcohol.”

Kaito laughed. He had no doubt that Miyuri would be onboard for that. She’d badmouth her ex and try to get Kaito to spill his guts. That was why he only happy-drank with Miyuri. “Thanks, Miyu-chan.”

“Need me to get a hangover remedy run? I think one of the vending machines has sports drinks and energy drinks that’ll give you a boost.”

“Mnn, I’m good. I just make poor life choices.”

“Don’t we all,” Miyuri sighed. “...wanna see pics of my latest poor choice?”

“Oh, are you dating again?” Kaito latched on to the distraction. Work could wait a little bit longer since not much was getting done today anyway. “Gimme. Is he cute?”

“Heck yeah, he’s cute. What kind of taste do you think I have?”

Kaito grinned, pushing exhaustion and aches aside for a bit to live vicariously through his coworker’s excitement. Miyuri was good. Miyuri was a good friend even if Kaito was pretty flaky in hanging outside of work. A shining beacon in the hellscape of life lately. Pity he’d never actually be able to tell her what was actually going on in his life outside of generalizations. Kaito looked at the candidly snapped photos on her phone and made appropriately appreciative sounds even though the man was a bit too rough looking for his tastes. (Now a man who could pull off a nice suit _and_ distressed-clothing well...) Kaito let Miyuri chatter about how they’d met and how she thought the relationship would go while he teased and joked at all the right places.

For a bit he was just Kuroba Kaito, museum worker and Miyuri’s friend. It would be nice if that was all he was.

***

The heist had gone off without a hitch, but it wasn’t Pandora yet again. Kaito hadn’t seen Kudo there either and he had to wonder if he’d truly scared him off.

He’d stripped out of his Kid regalia in favor of the dark gray stealth clothing he owned and took up residence on a rooftop a few buildings away from where the heist had been. No snipers today. Nothing more dangerous than Nakamori’s empty fury and the predictable masses of the task force. He sighed, necklace dangling over a steep drop as he perched on the edge of the roof. It glinted red in the moonlight, but it was a garnet and didn’t glow in the least. Pretty, valuable, but ultimately worthless to him.

Kaito half thought someone would be here at this building ready to catch him. It had been the false hint in his riddle, but it was him and a cold, white half-moon competing with city light pollution. It was a bad day when a heist didn’t produce any sort of adrenaline rush, good or bad.

He was so tired. So tired. The necklace spun in mesmerizing flashes of red and silver.

He needed to return it. That was a reason to visit Aoko or Kudo...

Takumi would be at Momoi’s since Aoko was working and Nakamori too. And Aoko was in the rush of Kid task force members down in the city below. There was nothing satisfying about leaving it for her and it would only make her angry if he left it on her kitchen counter.

Kaito snorted. He should stop talking himself into justifying stalking Kudo. It was what he wanted to do right now anyway.

The necklace spun one more time before he tucked it away up his sleeve.

***

The lights were dark at the Kudo manor. _Asleep in their beds_ , Kaito thought, a bit disappointed. All the easier to return the necklace and leave, but...

Kaito slipped in the now-familiar study window.

The papers were the usual mess, slightly more tidied up this time, and all the files on top closed. Kudo either hadn’t touched them yet or had finished his train of thought rather than leaving halfway. There was a photo on the desk, something new, with Kudo and Ran and their daughter with Kudo and Ran’s parents at some event. It must have been taken a few days ago because they were all dressed in summer clothes and their daughter looked about the same as when Kaito last saw her through the window.

Kaito turned away from the desk, restlessness in his bones. He could just leave the necklace there like he’d left notes. Instead, Kaito walked through the study door into the rest of the house.

He’d been in here before, years ago, cased the halls and noted locations of things. It had changed since then. New paint, new decorations, subtle touches of Ran and Kudo instead of Kudo’s parents’ taste. There were smudges on the paint at ankle level where grubby baby hands had left their marks on the hallway. A large kitchen with a table and six chairs, like they expected to have guests often, or maybe planned on having more children. The living room, the TV still an older model as the home owners were more partial to books than television. There were children’s toys and games on the shelves here and game boards for adults too. He could see Kudo and Ran passing the time in that room with their daughter playing on the floor or perhaps entertaining company, Hattori Heiji or Suzuki Sonoko taking up one of the couches. The pillows were skewed on them, lived in. Kaito’s living room looked the same as it did last time he cleaned; Takumi didn’t use it much and Kaito certainly never had time to.

There was a guest room and then Kaito found the library with its tall bookshelves and cozy reading couches and—and Kudo and his wife curled up on one of them with books abandoned on the side table. Kaito froze, barely daring to breathe. Ran curled against Kudo’s side, face pressed against his shoulder and he had one arm around her. It was intimate, private, and Kaito would have felt more comfortable seeing them asleep in their own bed than like this.

He stepped back, planning to leave them to their rest and leave, but Kudo stirred. Whether he sensed Kaito staring or something else woke him, Kaito didn’t know. Instead of running like he should, he froze as Kudo’s sleepy eyes rested on him in the doorway. Kaito was painfully aware that he didn’t even look like Kid at the moment, just some run-of-the-mill burglar with a face just a few prosthetics off from his natural one.

Kudo blinked slowly, too calm considering there was a stranger a few feet from him. “Breaking and entering again?” Kudo said quietly. He shifted Ran in his arms so he could sit up. She made a soft sound, curling up more in his lap instead of his shoulder.

How Kudo could always tell it was Kaito... Kaito let go of the breath he was holding. “You weren’t at the heist again,” Kaito said, not quite an explanation.

“Mm.” Kudo stroked Ran’s hair. She cuddled closer and Kaito looked away, feeling like a voyeur. “Hanae wasn’t feeling well tonight. She wouldn’t sleep unless Ran and I were both there.”

“Oh.” _Great, Kaito, get insecure just because one of your detectives is out being a proper parent. Great. Wonderful_. He hated that insecure part of him that had driven him here.

“You escaped Nakamori,” Kudo said.

“Yes.” Was that even a question? “It was practically routine.”

Kudo snorted. “Boring?”

“Certainly not as interesting as when you’re there.”

“Heh.” Kaito could see Kudo’s smile in the dim moonlight, small but there and surprisingly warm. Kudo beckoned him closer and Kaito, like a skittish cat, came, keeping out of reach. When he was just outside of touch, Kudo looked up at him, face unreadable. It took all of Kaito’s strength not to leave then and there. “Back there, did you mean it?”

There was no question about what Kudo was referencing. This, Kaito knew, was where he played it off. Put on the cheery Kid mask and claimed that it had all been a distraction to get away. Kaito called up the mask, words sitting heavy on the tip of his tongue. Then he noticed it wasn’t just Kudo watching. Ran was too, calm against his chest and without any judgment in her eyes. The words died in his throat. Kaito swallowed. “Kudo...”

Kudo reached out with his free hand and Kaito, like he was pulled in by a force outside his power, moved forward just that much further that Kudo’s hand brushed the curve of his jaw. He shivered. What was he doing?

“You can,” Kudo said softly, “if you want. If it’s just a night you want, you can have it. If you want to stay longer, you can have that too.”

“You want to arrest me,” Kid reminded him like an idiot.

“That’s on the job. Neither of us is on the job now.”

Meaning Kudo would still chase him. Meaning he would bend his morals so far but no further. Meaning he wanted to keep the challenges between them and build off this—whatever this was between them—too. He couldn’t give Kudo his identity, never could, but maybe a moment of rest... He closed his eyes as _want_ ripped through him. Now, just for now maybe...

Kaito leaned into Kudo’s touch. He heard Kudo breathe out a soft sigh, like he was relieved. Shouldn’t it be the other way around? Kaito leaned forward and followed that hand back to its source, left hovering awkwardly above Kudo and Ran, one knee on the couch for balance. Kudo’s thumb brushed over Kaito’s lips. Kaito opened his eyes to find Kudo’s face closer than he thought it would be, close enough to count Kudo’s eyelashes if he wanted to.

“Can I?” Kudo asked.

Kaito answered by crossing the distance. The kiss was soft, chaste, just testing the waters, but it had been so long that Kaito all but melted into it. The hand cupping his face traced the edges of his prosthetics in an absentminded way; of course even now Kudo would be looking for clues.

He pulled away.  Kudo looked calm and content. Ran hadn’t looked away for a moment and Kaito kind of wanted to ask what exactly this was, how they would fit together even for a one-time thing. Ran pushed the questions from his mind when she pulled him from Kudo down to kiss her. A softer jawline, a more familiar scent; Kaito had always been with women over men and so this was a bit more familiar though a kiss was a kiss, from man or woman. He let her control it and decide what she wanted. He couldn’t, wouldn’t, push any further than they would let him in.

Kaito was distantly aware that his breath sped up and he was shaking by the time she pulled away. They were both being too gentle, too— He shook his head once to try and clear it.

“I...” It felt like a hand was squeezing his chest tight. He wanted to stay, join them on the couch and be willingly trapped by warm bodies. He wanted to run and hide in Jii’s back room until the confusing tangle of emotions churning in him separated into manageable chunks to work through. He wanted Kudo to hold him still so he couldn’t run. He wanted to breathe in Ran and Kudo’s scents until they became synonymous with comfort. He wanted to jump off a building again because the rush of adrenaline from freefall made so much more sense than adrenaline from trying to make a decision.

“Kid?” Kudo said softly, touching Kaito’s face again. Still too gentle. Kaito needed—Why did he just—Couldn’t they see that he was going to break if they kept doing that?

Adrenaline shifted to the edge of panic and he pulled back, breathing too hard and warring with himself. _Just lean in, surrender, let them care for you._ He couldn’t. Not right now, not tonight.

“Sorry,” he choked. “I do want—just—“

They blinked at him, Ran concerned, Kudo analyzing because detectives were wired that way. Kudo gave him a wry smile. “We caught you off guard, didn’t we?”

“I never thought you’d say yes,” Kaito admitted. _Both_ of them said yes. How even...? Kaito cleared his throat and slipped the night’s heist into his palm. It dangled in all its glittering glory, effectively shifting the attention away from his discomfort. “Came to return this.”

Kudo’s eyes latched on it like a cat spotting a fly. He held out a hand and Kaito set the necklace in it, the silver chain coiling in the palm of Kudo’s hand. “Helena’s Hope,” he said, because of course he knew what it was. “There wasn’t much time to get this, was there?”

“That just adds to the challenge,” Kaito said, rebuilding his masks and pulling on a smirk.

Kudo’s eyes flicked to him, back to the gem, and he shook his head. “I’ll make sure it gets to the police,” he said. “Kid...” He stilled as Ran laid a hand over his.

“If you want to visit, we’ll be here,” Ran said, echoing her invitation from before. “And if what you want is a night with us...” She left it with a smile and an insinuation of welcome.

Kaito blushed and the only saving grace of the moment was that Kudo was blushing too. Kaito took another step back. “I won’t disturb your rest any more tonight,” he said. Here was where he should make a suitably dramatic exit. He still half wanted to curl up between them. Instead, he pulled two roses from his pockets and tucked them behind each of their ears. Kudo blinked at him like he was a puzzle he couldn’t solve. Ran smiled. “Until next time,” he promised.

They expected a show so he gave them one, a bit of smoke and a misdirection of opening the window while he retreated out the door. He paused outside it, listening.

“Do you think he’ll be back?” Ran, voice just on the edge of his hearing, probably across the room. The sound of the window closing.

“Yes.” Kudo, certain in a way Kaito was anything but.

He ran before he could hear anymore, heart hammering too fast in his chest and nerves fluttering in his stomach. The back of his mind played those soft touches over and over again with the thought, _what if...?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Side note, Keiko does eventually take the job running Jii's bar for Kaito despite what she says here. The chance to work fewer hours was weighed against Kaito after her friend eventually turned the job down and she decided it had more pluses than minuses. ...I made myself sad writing drunk Kaito interacting with Aoko. To be honest it is probably my favorite scene of the fic with how I got to play with how their broken dynamic works. Sorry Kaito, you suffer a lot in this.
> 
> Chapter title is from "Polaroid" from Imagine Dragons


	3. The Fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Ch title brought to you by Imagine Dragons' "The fall" (Actually all of 'smoke and mirrors' album has a lyric or five that fits this universe more or less. I just took a few songs to use as chapter titles. Do rec listening to the album with this fic in mind ^_~ )
> 
> Heads up, there's minor, not very explicit sexual content in here (which I'm sure you were expecting by this point) and some breakdowns by Kaito along with a bit of dissociating

 

Kaito wasn’t sure what he was going to do about Kudo’s invitation until he was halfway back to Kudo’s home three days after the heist. He’d had a million doubts run through his mind in that time, a thousand reasons why he shouldn’t paired against a short list of why it was a good idea. When it came down to it, he just... Kaito needed something to hold onto. Human contact, feeling wanted, the illusion of affection, any of it. And most of all he needed a chance to stop thinking, and the only ways he’d ever found to make that happen were to get blackout drunk, stay awake for so long that the room spun and his entire body hurt, or have sex. Kaito’d tried the first two already. He was willing to try the last since it was up for offer with someone he had an emotional connection to.

He was down to minimal prosthetics and gel-coated fingertips to keep his identity secret as he scaled the Kudo home. Not in Kid gear, not even in stealth gear, dressed in his usual jogging gear. It felt like being stripped bare, down to just a few pieces of latex and willing blindness keeping Kudo from picking apart what he looked like. Soon, if things went the way Kaito thought they’d go, he’d be literally naked too and that... was also daunting. He took a deep breath of night air, dew damp and green with the surrounding garden. The lights were off, but when Kaito neared the master bedroom window, it was open a crack. That was practically an invitation.

The window opened soundlessly. On the sill was a glass of water, Kaito’s roses set in it at full bloom. He paused there, touched that they’d kept them. That meant something, right? But then Aoko kept the flowers he sent her every year on her birthday too. Kaito slid cat-footed into the room.

Five steps away from the bed, Kudo shifted, his unnatural ability to sense when he was watched apparently extending to his sleeping hours. Kaito froze as Kudo gave a full bodied jerk that Kaito knew too well from being abruptly startled awake by his own paranoid senses. There was a dazed moment where Kudo’s mind caught up with his body before he looked around, skimming over Kaito before catching on his shape in the dark.

“Kid?” he whispered.

Kaito stepped closer, glad for the dim light and its many shadows for the extra cover they gave his features, one more layer to pick apart to get to him. “I can come back another time,” Kaito said quietly. Of course they’d be sleeping. Had he expected them to be waiting?

“Stay,” Kudo said, reaching out. Kaito let him catch his wrist. Let him tug Kaito those last few steps forward to the bed. Kudo’s thumb brushed the soft skin of his inner wrist, hot as Kudo’s eyes glinting in the dark. Kaito shivered. “Stay,” Kudo repeated, softer.

Kaito let out a breath. “Yeah. Yeah, okay.” He let Kudo tug him closer, kneeling on the edge of the bed so they could kiss. It was just as gentle as last time and he felt as pinned in place by it as if he was caught in a net. It was easy to surrender to it. All that worrying and it melted away at first contact. This close, Kaito noticed a few faint scars on Kudo’s face from some case or another. Kudo had both the best and worst luck of anyone he knew.

“Come to bed,” Kudo said.

Kaito opened his mouth to ask where in the bed he’d fit, but there was Ran watching them, already moving to give him space between them. She was half awake, but she reached for him all the same. Kaito took her hand and between her and Kudo, he found himself pulled into warm blankets and a warmer embrace.

Ran was slightly warmer than Kudo, her lips shockingly hot against his night-cool forehead. “I wondered if you’d come,” she murmured against his hairline. She curled close, relaxed and sleepy. Behind him, Kudo did the same. It was simultaneously too much contact, claustrophobic and stifling, and not nearly enough contact at all. Too much clothing in the way, too little hands claiming his body. Ran fell back asleep quickly, but Kaito couldn’t escape the part of his brain that said it was a trap.

“Sleep,” Kudo mumbled, and okay, they were parents with a toddler who both had jobs; of course they were tired. Remembering that helped him relax.

They didn’t mind him here. It wasn’t just a whim and sex, it was...whatever this was.

Kaito was warm and the press of bodies against his didn’t feel like a trap. The touch was too gentle, the grasp too loose. The sheets smelled like Kudo and Ran, clean and intimate and calming. He closed his eyes and let himself drift.

***

Kaito woke to a press of lips on the back of his neck and a thumb tracing along the bump of his wrist in slow strokes. It felt like a dream, unreal and golden, just soft wand warm surrounding him. He couldn’t remember when he last woke to something like this. At peace and rested instead of to his brain latching onto the next dozen things that needed done. Right now, he couldn’t think of any of the things he inevitably needed to do. It was a bubble of peace that would either prove to be a dream or vanish once his mind caught up with reality.

“He’s awake,” a woman’s voice said. The thumb stroking his wrist pressed a bit harder. His arm, Kaito realized, was slung over someone’s waist. _Ran_ , he thought.

“Good,” a male voice said behind him. _Kudo_. The word tickled the back of Kaito’s neck.

He was cradled between two warm bodies. Ran was in front of him, her knees tangling with Kaito’s, and Kudo was a solid presence behind him. Kudo shifted and Kaito felt him half-hard against his lower back. Breath stuttered in his chest and his eyes flew open.

“Good morning,” Ran said, smiling across the half a pillow of space between their faces. She had dawn sunlight giving her reddish-brown highlights in her hair where it fell across her face in messy waves.

“Morning,” Kaito echoed, a bit more breathlessly than intended. Ran’s lips curled up a fraction higher. “This is a nice way to wake up.”

“Is it?” Kudo said, mouth shifting to the stretch of skin where neck met shoulder. Kaito tipped his head to the side for better access, breath catching again. Just like that, he was wide awake and hyper-sensitive. The soft, wet press of lips shot through him like an electric jolt.

“Very.” Kaito licked his lips, unable to look away from Ran watching him even as most of his attention was preoccupied with Kudo at his back. “I’ll admit I expected a lot rougher treatment considering some of our chases, Meitantei.”

Kudo snorted. “What happens at heists and what happens in the bedroom are two very separate things.”

“No really? I thought they were the same.” Ran laughed and Kudo nipped at his shoulder for that. Kaito’s eyes fluttered shut. Ah. A hand on his face turning him—Ran’s face, Ran’s lips on his, pulling him in. Hand in his hair, a well-muscled thigh beneath his hand, Kudo at his back. He pressed the kiss deeper, hungry for intimacy, needing it even as it overwhelmed him.

Ran and Kudo’s hands lingered at the edge of his shirt, playing with the hem. “Is this okay?” Kudo asked, fingers brushing up Kaito’s abs in a way that would have tickled if he wasn’t turned on at the moment.

“Yes,” Kaito said. “I’m here aren’t I? Touch me, fuck me, do whatever you want—” Ran cut him off with another kiss.

“We need to know what you’re okay with,” she said when she pulled away.

Kaito made a tiny frustrated sound in his throat. He didn’t want to talk. He didn’t want time to second guess or worry or let doubts creep back up on him. What he wanted was for them to take what they wanted, to give what they could give. He wanted their attention on him until he couldn’t stand it anymore. What he said was, “I don’t want to think.” Too raw, too open, he pulled on his masks, closing off, pulling inward and he could see a flash of concern on Ran’s face—too slow. He couldn’t seem to find his balance anymore. “Nothing too painful, nothing...nothing demeaning.” He didn’t think they were the type to be into that, but you never knew. “Just touch me.”

“Okay,” Ran said, too gentle like he was something breakable and not the thief that had bothered her and her husband for years. She brushed hair back from his face, searching his eyes. “Okay. We have you.”

Her lips pressed against his again, and Kaito let her lead in this, surrendered to her willingly at least. A tug had him craning back to catch Kudo’s lips as well, the angle awkward but no less satisfying, especially how it made Kudo press his whole body against Kaito to reach. Hands slid under his shirt and he didn’t try to keep track of who touched where, just let the feeling of skin against skin build in him.

They broke apart, Kudo tugging up Kaito’s shirt and Kaito wiggled free of it and his pants while he was at it, one less layer between them and in the same level of undress as his bedfellows. He took a moment to admire Ran’s curves and the muscle that showed beneath the first glimpse of softness. Kudo had nice legs, still as strong as ever despite leaving sports behind. They looked good, looked even better beside each other and Kaito was overly conscious about his own appearance next to them.

Kaito had no illusions that he wasn’t equally attractive, and he knew he was fit, if a bit on the thin side at the moment from not taking as good of care of himself as he should, but while Kudo had a few scars here and there, one on his abdomen and a few on his arms, Kaito knew he was a mess of scar tissue in comparison. There were multiple scars around his heart, bullets hitting gems in his pocket and driving them into his chest, old bullet scars from near misses, scars from shrapnel and his own wires and razor cards and burns from pyrotechnics gone awry.

He felt Ran brush a hand against his back, an abrasive scar from a glider crash. Kudo took in the scars with sharp eyes that left Kaito feeling naked in more ways than one. Kaito didn’t let his expression show anything, just waited until Kudo moved close again and accepted the kiss when he offered it. These scars could be proof to his identity even more than his true face if Kudo chose to use that against him.

They pressed up against him, too gentle all over again, and Kaito tried to speed things up, make things rougher, but they pulled him back to their pace, not letting him hurl himself off the edge into this but pulling him there slowly, bit by aching bit. Hands on his sides, lower. Kaito let it happen, silent. Any words he had frozen in his throat. One wrong word, and this could end.

He didn’t want it to end.

It was torture, killing with kindness, but he didn’t want it to end.

A hand, Kudo’s, fumbling a condom onto Kaito from somewhere. Aching, soft, warm, pulling him in—Ran, surrounding him, holding him in her, and Kudo pressing close and hard from behind—Kaito gasped. The world was arms, bodies press, push, pull, press, push, pull, warm warm _warm_ , kisses and gentle, half-spoken words lost between them, and Kaito was breaking, falling apart at their touch. Too much. Too much.

He felt tears in his eyes, lost in Ran’s hair, gasps and pleas he barely recognized as coming from his own throat caught in mouths that were not his own. It coiled tighter and tighter in him, almost hurting when it finally peaked, and Kudo and Ran caught him between them.

Kaito clung to them as tension left his body, sweat sticking his skin against theirs. The prosthetics felt looser on his face, the makeup on him undoubtedly smudged and lacking. A kitten’s sneeze could have crumpled him to the floor, but so long as he was caught in the circle of their arms it was okay to be weak for the moment.

Kudo reached around him, coaxing Ran into completion before following. Kaito felt the shiver of aftershocks run through him as Ran’s body gripped him tight one last time and Kudo shuddered against him. He screwed his eyes up tight as the tangle of them became a loose cuddle. He didn’t want this to end.

It had to end.

He breathed in Ran’s scent, her hair tinged with sweat and strawberry shampoo. Finger by finger, he uncurled his fists where they’d clenched into whatever he could hold onto—Ran’s hair and the bedsheets mostly. The sun was rising higher in the sky, the light less golden now. He shifted to disconnect their bodies, Ran making a soft sound at the change.

It was Kudo’s hand stroking his side, face still pressed against the back of his neck. It was Ran’s knee currently fitting itself between his legs. There wasn’t a way to leave without breaking the languid atmosphere. Regret was already starting to set in.

“I should go,” he said out loud. Some of the sleepy relaxation left them, Kudo’s hand pausing at Kaito’s hip.

“You could stay for breakfast,” Ran offered.

Kaito pictured it, sitting down at the Kudos’ breakfast table as they went about their daily routine, their daughter on Kudo’s hip as Ran prepared food for four. Either things would begin to feel awkward between them the longer he sat there, or it would feel like just another day with Kaito accepted into this domestic moment like he belonged there and no, he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t sit there if it went the latter route because it would break him all over again not to keep that. And this couldn’t last.

“I need to go,” he said instead.

Kudo shifted back to give him space and Kaito couldn’t help the small whine that came from his throat. His back felt cold. Kaito sat up and away from Ran and all of him felt cold. There were tear tracks on his face. He couldn’t hide that or how he’d reacted in their arms. He looked away, searching for where he’d tossed his clothes. They hadn’t made it far, hanging half off a chair by the window. Actually, he wasn’t sure where his underwear had gone at all... He slid on his pants without them.

On the bed, Ran sat watching him. She wasn’t saying a word to keep him, but the concern from earlier was back on her face. Kudo stood a bit to the side, unreadable and still very, very naked. Kaito couldn’t help giving him another once over. ...he’d slept with that. Wow. His face felt a bit warm. On the bed was the condom Kaito had had on, a bit of a mess on the sheets. It had fallen off when he pulled away. Leave it or don’t...? He’d probably gotten enough of his DNA scattered around the room anyway. He settled on politely throwing it away instead.

“Kid,” Kudo said as Kaito pulled on his shirt.

Kaito took a moment to pull his mess of a self together before he turned to him with a smile. “One night,” Kaito said. “That’s what I asked for. So thank you.”

“You don’t need to—”

“But it would be rude to outstay my welcome,” Kaito said, talking over whatever Kudo intended to say. Kudo scowled at him. It was such a familiar expression that Kaito’s smile felt a bit more real on his face. He opened his mouth to say more, but caught the faint sound of tiny feet on wooden floors. Kaito tilted his head. “Sounds like someone is awake.” He faked a dramatic sigh. “Ah, the spell of a moment, broken by a child. What a familiar feeling.”

Kudo’s eyebrows shot up at the implication. That, along with needing to find some sort of clothing before their daughter burst into the room, was more than enough distraction for Kaito to get the rest of his clothing on and be half out the windowsill before Kudo made one last attempt at talking. Struggling to pull on a pair of underwear that Ran threw his way, Kudo said, “This doesn’t have to be a one-time thing!”

“Hmm,” Kaito hummed, eyes following Kudo’s skin getting covered up bit by bit as a robe followed the underwear. Kudo’s hands tied the belt into a knot and Kaito shivered a bit internally, the memory of those hands on his skin recent enough he could still feel phantom touches.

“Do we look like the one night stand kind of type?” Ran asked, hands on her hips, frustration on her face making her passing resemblance to Aoko suddenly that much more noticeable. God, what was wrong with him, seeking out comfort in his and Aoko’s doppelgangers like he was living vicariously through them.

Kaito was a mess, but they didn’t know how much of one. He gave her a wan smile. “Not at all, Ran-hime.” They’d kept his flowers and they were open so full they probably would lose petals if he bumped them in the cup near his knee. They’d kept them and they’d held Kaito and let him break between them and held him until he put himself together again. No, this wasn’t a casual act on either of their parts.

Toddler hands rattled at the doorknob just out of easy reach. Kaito leaned out the window. “You’re good people,” Kaito said. _And far too good for me._

After weeks of veritable stalking it was easy to drop from the window and climb out of view in a matter of seconds. He went around the side and up; they’d expect him to go down and away.

“Damn it,” Kudo said from the window.

“Well, at least we got out that he could come back,” Ran said with a sigh.

“Even when I like him he annoys the heck out of me,” Kudo grumbled. “...I don’t think he’s okay right now.”

“No... We can’t do anything unless he lets us though.”

“Hmm. I still owe him.”

“And we’ll pay him back if he ever needs it,” Ran said.

The door rattled louder, a small voice shouting, “Kaa-chan, Tou-chan! Wake up! Wake up!”

“Our daughter calls,” Kudo said with humor.

“I’ll start breakfast and coffee, you run interference.”

Kaito stopped listening as they opened the door, their daughter giving a happy shriek about something. “Owe me, hmm?” he murmured. Kudo did owe Kaito for all Kid did to help ‘Conan’ take down his dark organization. Had this been about owing? Or was that debt the reason Kudo would look away when Kaito wasn’t at a heist? It left a bitter taste in his mouth.

Somehow it wasn’t fair that this was the most rested he’d felt in a long time. Not fair at all.

***

There was a distinct, heavy rock of guilt in Kaito’s stomach. It had less to do with having sex with a married couple and everything to do with the way that sex tied into the ache in his chest as he watched Aoko walk Takumi to school. Well, no, the fact that he had wedged himself into another couple’s happily married lives was a thing that weighed on him; there was a tiny worry that doing so would ruin their relationship even though it was probably conceited to picture it. But the fact that a good part of why he’d done it was because he wanted their reality to be his own was...more than a bit depressing and concerning.

Kaito did not seek out alcohol when confronted by this thought. It was some tiny achievement, the pride of which was immediately swamped under the press of negative emotions that seemed to fill every waking moment.

Well, almost every moment. He’d taken Takumi and Shiemi to the park the other day and both children had been in a good mood and it had all been so great and normal that for a good six hours Kaito had forgotten his problems existed.

If only he could trick his mind into that state of being more often, maybe things would get easier. They’d certainly be better if he could find a way back to the optimist’s look on life. For now he’d have to settle for faking it. If he pretended long enough, maybe it would come back around again as genuine. A shell of joy over his depression.

Aoko and Takumi parted ways at the school gates, him to his class, her to work. He was old enough that he could have gotten away with walking on his own or with classmates going the same direction like Kaito did growing up. It was good that Aoko walked him though. Takumi needed her around in his life as much as possible and Aoko tried to carve as much time outside of work for him as she could.

And Kaito got what was left over. Fair was fair when he was the one to break everything apart.

 _“This doesn’t have to be a one-time thing,_ ” Kudo said, but then they didn’t know what went on in Kaito’s head or what secrets he held. They’d want to know more if Kaito sought them out again. Eventually it being on Kaito’s terms wouldn’t be enough...

And yet he still wanted.

Aoko was right those times she called him selfish.

***

Adrenaline and the fierce joy that came with a successful theft sung in Kaito’s veins, Nakamori dodging his heels. _Too slow, Keibu_ , Kaito’s inner Kid voice thought with half-mocking amusement. Kaito vaulted over stair railing to the mass of officers below—Aoko was there in them somewhere, there by the window, moving—and joined them in disguise, one more officer in Tackle-Kid.

The poor soul he’d put a Kid uniform on was mobbed instantly. It would only take a few seconds to figure out what had happened, but a few seconds were all he needed.

Kaito slipped into the shadows, going for the other set of stairs on the far side of the building now that everyone had been drawn to this side. For all that they learned, the task force held on to bad habits twice as hard, but since that worked to his advantage, Kaito was hardly going to be the one to point that out.

Upstairs, left, right, slip into a room to dodge one of the few officers still patrolling, up, up to the rooftop and the heavy winds that made his glider useless, but would be perfect in swiftly carrying away decoy balloons-turned-escape. Kaito burst onto the rooftop, breath burning in his lungs in the good way of a long run not a nightmare driven terror.

Kudo Shinichi stepped around an air unit.

The high of a good heist crashed as fast as he would if he tried to bring his glider out.

“I thought you’d come here,” Kudo said just loud enough to hear above the wind. It was dark up here, even with the lights added to the roof after years of Kid heists, dark enough that Kaito couldn’t see his expression well to gauge his mood. Body language was ready for reacting—attack or defense—weight more on one foot than the other. Kudo didn’t have the experimental gun from the other day or his sleep darts. He did have a soccer ball, which Kaito knew was as much of a weapon in Kudo’s hands—or feet rather—than any of his other preferred criminal capture methods.

“Detective,” Kaito said, Kid mask intact, “you know me so well.” Was that a blush? Ah, he hadn’t actually intended for that to be an insinuation, but he could more than roll with it. “And you went to the trouble of making this personal. I feel touched.”

“You don’t have to phrase it like that!” Kudo blustered. “This isn’t the place to—” He cut himself off, flustered and irritated.

It would have been cute if Kaito didn’t want to pretend nothing had ever happened between them. “Well, we know how this plays out,” Kaito said, all dramatics, for all appearance a walking target in white with his arms spread out. “You make threats, I make banter, you make your capture attempt, and I fly away free. How about we cut to the chase. Let me go, and I’ll give back the jewel tomorrow night, hmm?”

Kudo squared his jaw. “I can’t do that, Kid.”

Of course he couldn’t. Kaito sighed internally. He gave a theatrical bow, “Well than you can take your sho—” His hat fell off his head, a bullet hole through its top. Across from him, Kudo hissed as the shot winged his arm, miraculously missing killing either of them. Kaito’s blood froze and words died in his throat. Kudo, shot, possible shots to follow—

He dived forward, grabbing Kudo and dragging him bodily into a more sheltered position. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Kudo injured because he was at a Kid heist because Kaito kept inviting him, because Kaito all but ensured he’d be there tonight because of course he’d want to talk, and if Kudo died this would all be on Kaito’s damn shoulders just like Jii.

“Kid?” Kudo asked through gritted teeth. He tried to pry Kaito’s hand off his good arm so he could apply pressure to his wounded one and after a belated moment, Kaito let go. Wordlessly, he pulled out a scarf for Kudo to use on his wound. “Having another sniper problem?” Kudo asked, all the clarity of someone who was used to injury in this moment. Of course. He got shot at as often as Kaito did after all.

“Something like that,” Kaito said. They weren’t after Kudo, they were after him, he just had to—

“You’re planning something stupid,” Kudo accused, catching Kaito’s elbow.

Kaito looked at him. He had a wife and daughter to go home to tonight, and Kaito knew what that face looked like caught up in passion as well as pain, joy and fury, fear and sadness and love for his wife. Kaito couldn’t let Kudo be a target like Kaito was. “Kudo-tantei,” he said, keeping his voice deceptively light, “it might be better for you to stay home for a while.”

“Kid—!” Kudo grabbed for him, but Kaito was moving and Kudo was smart enough to stay where it was safe. Good.

The balloons were out and he couldn’t go back down, but he could get down from the roof to the streets, so that’s what he did. There was at least one other shot, pinging off the metal air units right by his head as he ran past them, but they didn’t hit Kaito so that was fine, fine, get off the roof and hide.

Kaito locked away the thought that Jii had died on the ground in an alley; the ground still had better coverage than the open rooftop.

He rappelled down the side of the building so fast he got friction burns on his palms through his gloves, but he made it down without being shot. From there, there were police to dodge and hidey holes to find, and Kaito let his brain run on instinct, all his focus on finding the next place, then the next, then the next until he’d gone through four disguise changes and doubled around so many times that he’d be shaking if not for his rigid self-control.

No more bullets. No sign of being tailed. Kaito let himself sink to the ground outside some family apartment complex between bags of burnable trash. Fuck. Kudo’s pained expression, the splash of blood on his sleeve, the round hole in Kid’s hat as it rolled on the roof’s cement repeated over and over in his brain. Hat, blood, pain, hat, blood, pain, hat—Kaito shot in the back, bullet passing through his right lung—blood—Kudo just a bit to the right of where he’d stood, light leaving his eyes at the fatal shot—pain—dead, dying, a pool of blood on concrete, sprawled out body, no dignity in death, no chance to make amends, no apologies, one more object to scar someone’s psyche, alone. Kaito’s breath caught in his throat. The world went a bit sideways for a moment, too much, too bright-dark-pressing before it righted itself. His hands were bleeding red, soaking through black fabric gloves he must have put on sometime. The white ones had holes in the palms now, bits of them stuck in the raw mess of his skin. He flexed stiff fingers. The pain was distant, foggy like it belonged to someone else.

That should be alarming; usually he was constantly grounded in himself, had to be to pull off half of what he did, but even feeling alarmed was too far off to have any impact.

He flexed his hands again before shoving them into the pockets of a dark purple hoodie he’d had stashed in one of his many bolt holes. He needed to go home—where?

There was the still-half-empty apartment or the house, and the house had most of the medical supplies but the house was the last place he wanted to be these days. His feet chose the apartment before his conscious mind could decide. At some point, the storm finally broke, rain pelting down in giant icy drops that almost broke through the haziness of the world. With the rain, even sound was muted, just rushing white noise in all directions.

The key stuck in the lock. Kaito’s hands shook too hard to get it back out of the door the first two tries and it was the horror at how little control he had that finally pushed him back into the real state of the world. He felt chilled to the bone and he was shaking from the cold. His hands were a mass of throbbing pain. The key finally unstuck itself and Kaito let himself into his apartment, dripping water all over the genkan. It left a damp trail all the way to the bathroom where he stripped out of his clothes one painful movement at a time.

The warm shower water felt like needles, a shock on his icy skin, then a secondary shock on his abused hands. Kaito stayed under the spray until the shaking stopped and the water was starting to go cool again before shutting it off and grabbing the only towel he had here. He’d bought it at a discount store, not wanting anything from the house in here for reasons only his ridiculous whims knew. It was thin and a bit scratchy, not what he needed after a long day at all, but it was enough. His palms left bloody streaks on the pale blue terrycloth; moving them kept reopening the wounds.

Wrapping hand wounds was a pain in the ass, but it was hardly the first time. Work was going to be hell.

Kaito flopped back onto the bare mattress he’d set in the corner of the main room. Rain drummed against the window, a true summer storm setting in outside. Kudo had better have made it home safely... All this for a gem that probably wasn’t even what he was looking for. Dammit.

He pulled out his cell phone from the depths of his pockets, a secondary phone with references instead of proper contact names. Currently Kudo was under Sherrinford for his cell phone and Mrs. Hudson for the home line. The phone rang a half dozen times before Kudo picked up, sounding distracted and a bit wary.

“Hello?”

Kaito hung up. If Kudo could answer his phone that was proof enough that he was okay. Kaito slipped the battery out of the phone. He’d have to ditch the phone now on the off chance Kudo realized it was him and tried to trace it back. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. No one died tonight. Things would be okay.

***

Kaito didn’t return the gem to Kudo this time. Instead it showed up in the police break room with no one the wiser for how it got there (funny how a food delivery person got overlooked so easily).

The only problem Kaito had at the moment was the vague feeling of being watched.

This wasn’t the first time he’d been watched over the years; Kaito was sure that a few of his shadows suspected Kuroba Kaito of being Kid, but since Snake had died, none of them had outright attempted to make the parallel, and Kaito’s careful partitioning of his life had kept the others at bay.

This time felt different. Maybe it was that this time they’d killed Jii, confirmed some connection to Kaito’s civilian life, but he didn’t know for sure. A phone conversation with Aoko had confirmed that she was being tailed too and that had Kaito’s core filling with icy dread. The jaws of a trap a long time coming were slowly easing shut, clamping down around Kaito and his family. If he was really unlucky, they’d be closing around Kudo’s family too because he’d been stupid enough to actively seek Kudo out lately, drawing a target on him too. Only long practice kept him from panicking. 

If there was one thing he had promised himself in all of this, it was that he would never, ever let the shadows try to use his family against him. And if that meant drawing them out into the open somewhere as far away as possible...

Kaito made plans for a heist on the other side of Japan, targeted at a trio of stones connected to a Russian diplomat. They were smaller than his usual targets, the venue was a university affiliated museum that had a traveling exhibit on Japan-Russia relations in history, and it was someplace that would be easy for his shadows to get in and out of. A perfect trap for Kid, one they wouldn’t pass up. If he thought they’d bite, he’d hold one in another country.

Kaito made plans with work for a vacation day and smiled bitterly to himself. Kid was bait, had always been bait, but the longer he was Kid, the more he wondered what the trap was catching anymore. More often than not, he was the one getting hit by it than the people he was trying to catch.

Outwardly, Kaito pulled his mask on tighter, acted like nothing was wrong. That he was getting over Jii, that he wasn’t a mess inside. The scary part was that when he fully committed to the act, sometimes it was impossible to remember that he was acting until his audience left and it came crashing back down.

***

At mid-September, the city of Asahikawa in Hokkaido was moving toward autumnal chill steadily. It was Kaito’s misfortune that he’d managed to arrive during an abnormally cold spell, the temperatures dipping just a few degrees above freezing at night. Compared to the much warmer Tokyo weather, it was a bit of a slap to the face. It made as good an excuse as any to buy canned hot chocolate from a vending machine as he did his last bit of casing the scene before his heist.

The museum was _tiny_. If Kaito didn’t have himself immersed in news on museum exhibits across Japan, he wouldn’t have even noticed this one, a two room exhibit set up in the Tokai University’s exhibit space. His target, a set of jeweled pins, were the only gems in the entire setup, most of it taken up with replica documents, photos of historic figures, and informative placards with a few miscellaneous artifacts of Japanese and Russian origin (he could have done without the replicas of fishing equipment). As it stood, there wasn’t much for ways in or out—one door, closed rooms with a single glass wall up front near the exit. A back room with collection storage space for whoever the curator was, but no windows, no vents he could climb through. Just one small space and an academic building to figure a way out of if he was lucky enough to make it in and out of the museum space itself.

On the one hand, it was a logistical nightmare. And on the other, there was very little in security systems set up, the local police seemed to be of the opinion that the whole thing was a hoax despite the division of the Kid task force sent out here to assist them assuring that Kid had stolen stranger things than a jeweled pin.

Kaito warmed his hands on the aluminum hot chocolate can, sipping it as he watched Nakamori throw his hands up in frustration as campus security and police officers failed to meet his standards of discipline. The itch of being watched that had followed him since his last heist burned on him despite his disguise as a university student.

It could be anyone; there were plenty of people around between the school campus and the police sticking out like a sore thumb. Plus Kid enthusiasts would be in the area. There were always a few diehard fans that popped up at any announced heist location to stake out in hopes of candid photos and something new to add to fan blog sites. (Kaito followed the main ones mostly so he knew what rumors were circulating and what photos were out there. There were a few theories that brushed uncomfortably close to the truth.) Not for the first time he wished he had Kudo’s uncanny accuracy in knowing when and in what direction he was being watched from.

He drained the hot chocolate can, tossing it in a recycling bin before heading back toward his hotel. There was no chance of getting closer at the moment without catching attention. He’d infiltrated as a worker earlier installing the upgraded security on the building, but that had been a close scrape with Nakamori on edge. Enough to plant a few fail-safes and distractions, and get an idea of the layout. The glass wall would be the biggest asset and weakness of the layout—easy escape but high visibility and no cover.

Kaito hated just about the entire setup.

 _Let this work_ , he thought. _Let this work_. He didn’t want to have to leave Japan to draw the attention away from his family. He didn’t even know if that would be enough. If he could just pull off another miracle and throw off the suspicion a bit longer...

The feeling of being watched spiked again and Kaito shuddered. This was closer. Where...? A woman in a knit hat and scarf and big, oversized sunglasses watched him from a café across the street. Who was outside at a café in this weather? She didn’t even try to hide that she was watching him. Kaito really should keep walking... He walked toward her.

There was no subtlety, no pretenses that he didn’t get that anxious feeling like his mystery stalkers gave him. The woman took a sip of her drink as Kaito slid into the seat across from her. “Pardon me,” he said in a modified voice to match his modified appearance, “but I can’t help noticing you watching. I don’t think we’ve ever met.”

“Haven’t we?” the woman said, voice familiar. She propped the sunglasses up and tugged the scarf down enough to reveal her face. Kaito gaped, Koizumi Akako being the last person he would have expected to see here and now. “You must have a very short memory, Kuroba.”

“Koizumi...san,” Kaito said.

She looked different. Shorter hair under that hat, a more angular face; mature in the somehow ageless way that movie stars seemed to have. It made her look alluring, he was sure, though there was no attraction in him toward her, and it made her feel twice as dangerous as high school. This was a Koizumi who had come into her own.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Koizumi said with a tiny chuckle. “Don’t tell me you actually forgot about me.”

Kaito pulled his expression back into order. “Of course not, Koizumi-san, it would be pretty hard to forget you.” Not with the attempts on his life and free will over the years. ...Or the occasional help. But after school, Koizumi had vanished. She hadn’t kept in touch with any of their classmates and Kaito had figured she’d just gone wherever she came from, a bit like the demonic creatures she communed with. “What are you doing here?” He didn’t bother asking how she knew it was him; she seemed to be able to tell by some supernatural means or another that he’d never really figured out.

Koizumi smiled, red-painted lips curling up at the edges and making Kaito’s paranoia kick in. “I’ve noticed you have a problem, Kuroba.”

“Everyone has problems,” Kaito said airily.

“Hmmm,” Koizumi hummed, drawing it out unnervingly. “But you do seem to have the interesting ones. Gerou,” she said with a firm tone, not addressing Kaito at all. At the other side of the street there was a sudden scuffle before the servant Kaito vaguely remembered seeing around Koizumi before stepped across the road with a man at his side. The man had a glazed expression, moving like he wasn’t quite in control of his limbs. The hairs on the back of Kaito’s neck stood on end.

“Akako-sama,” Gerou said, still holding onto the man’s arm. He bowed slightly to her and ignored Kaito altogether.

“One of your watchers,” Koizumi said, sipping daintily at her tea like this was a summer garden party instead of an intimidation tactic.

“What did you do to him?” Kaito asked.

“You know exactly what I did to him,” Koizumi said. “I’m sure you remember when I did it to you.” There, on his clothes, a piece of paper hidden in the bulk of a heavy coat. A charm of control. Kaito shivered. He still remembered the terrifying feeling of not having control of his own body. Koizumi had never said back then why she let him go. He didn’t think the man in front of him would have the same luck. “I can keep him from bothering you ever again.”

Kaito didn’t need to have a lifetime dodging traps to sense the one closing around him. He stared Koizumi down. “Why?”

“You have a problem,” Koizumi said, setting down her teacup. “And you have something I need. I propose a deal.”

Kaito glanced around them. Somehow no one was within close earshot to their table, probably another or Koizumi’s manipulations. “How do I even know that this guy is one of my watchers?” Kaito asked.

Koizumi rolled her eyes. “Gerou?”

The servant removed the charm and the man tensed, blinking out of his daze with a horrified expression. His eyes latched onto Kaito and Kaito saw his hand go for something in his pocket—a lump, a shape Kaito knew intimately as a gun by this point. The servant slapped the charm on again and the man’s expression went vague and dream-like. Terrifying. Still, that did seem to support her claims.

Kaito swallowed uncomfortably. “A deal you said?”

“Yes.” She set down her cup of tea, steepling her fingers together. Koizumi’s index fingers tapped her lips for a moment before she seemed to decide on something. “Here’s what I have to offer. To start, I have ways of getting information that others do not. These methods include how I found you today.” Kaito nodded. He had vague memories of seeing Koizumi do questionable-looking spells the few times he’d dared trying to spy on her. “I could also use these methods to help watch your back since you no longer have someone doing that.”

The fresh grief of Jii’s death stung; Kaito couldn’t have completely hidden his flinch at those words if he’d tried. “And my watcher problem?”

Koizumi’s smirk had teeth in a way that reminded him of a dog right before it snapped its jaws shut on some unsuspecting creature. “There are things I could do to take care of that too.”

“And what do you get out of it?”

“That depends.”

“Depends on what?”

Koizumi’s fingers tapped her lips again, teeth still bared in a facsimile of a smile. “On what you’re willing to pay, Kuroba.”

She seemed so sure he’d pay whatever price she stated and Kaito felt a flicker of anger. He’d never cared for Koizumi, but he didn’t like her any more for showing up out of nowhere holding vaguely threatening sounding bargains above his head.

Koizumi must have read that irritation in his posture because she changed tracks. “Look, Kuroba. You’ve had an increasingly large number of close calls at heists. In your last one, you could have easily ended up dead, or if not you, that Kudo detective could have died instead. You’ve been followed on a daily basis since then, and your family home is under surveillance. If I’m not wrong, so is Nakamori-chan, hmm? Your leads are falling through and the last person you managed to turn over to the police was dead within the hour. It looks like your infamous luck is nearing its end. But I could see your watchers and know when each escalation was coming. I could even give that luck of yours a boost.”

There was a catch, there was always a catch, like making deals with a devil. A witch couldn’t be that much better to make a trade with. But Koizumi was right and Kaito certainly was running out of ways to delay what felt inevitable. He didn’t want to die for this cause. He’d never wanted to die for it.

But there was only one thing she hadn’t included in that little sales pitch, one that he’d give a lot to make happen. “You know magic,” he said because this was fact, experienced by his own self without any other reasonable explanation for. “What would it take to erase the connection between Kaitou Kid and all things Kuroba?”

He caught a flash of triumph in her eyes. She knew she had him and Kaito would have to grit his teeth for whatever demands came if he wanted anything from her; she had the upper hand in the bargain. Still. Koizumi made a show of giving it thought. “All things Kuroba? I don’t think I could manage to erase _all_ things Kuroba, not with how my magic doesn’t like to work on you. But if I had someone else as the focus for the spell... I know I could cut the connection from your family.”

 _Takumi,_ Kaito thought. She could use Takumi as a focus. “Would it work for all blood relation to this person?”

“The closer the relation, the stronger the effect,” Koizumi said.

So it could shield Aoko and Kaito, and maybe even Kaito’s mother and Nakamori-keibu to some extent.

“I could erase the connection to ‘Kuroba Kaito’ entirely from their perception,” Koizumi said, “though obviously I wouldn’t be able to completely erase Nakamori-chan from her connection to Kid.”

No, not while she chased Kid... “And what would this cost me?”

“A child,” Koizumi said, her smile cold.

Kaito’s emotions locked down, his face blank. “Excuse me?”

Koizumi had the gall to look annoyed at his response. “No, you idiot, I don’t mean sacrificing your son or some random child to a ritual. What sort of magic do you think I work with? I mean that my price for you is a child of your bloodline. With me.” She gave him a once over and Kaito empathized with mice getting eyed by cats. “My family has always sought to improve our bloodline each generation. What better choice that someone who is able to resist my sway?”

A child. Koizumi wanted to have _his child_. What the hell? All those years of her trying to bend his will to hers in high school took a very different note in his memory all of a sudden. A baby. What was he supposed to feel about something like that? It was a struggle to keep his face straight and voice even as he asked, “Why now?”

“You’re at the point where you’ll consider it,” Koizumi said. And damn it if she wasn’t right. If Kaito hadn’t lost Jii... If he wasn’t on edge from being stalked... If he was still married and happy with Aoko... Well, he wouldn’t have listened even this long. He’d have cut and run as soon as he realized it was Koizumi Akako and she wanted something from him and wouldn’t take no for an answer. “Besides,” she added with an airy wave, “I am finally at the right point in my life to consider children. I’m in my prime child bearing years with that window closing and have everything I want in my life exactly how I want it. It’s time for a child.”

Kaito felt a lurch in his stomach, a little sick as he realized he was considering it, seriously considering if cutting the ties between Kuroba and Kid were worth it. He’d always wanted nothing to do with Koizumi’s attraction to him. At least, he supposed, Koizumi wasn’t unattractive just...not the sort of woman Kaito would seek out. Her personality was what made her less attractive to him. He looked at Koizumi again and tried to picture making this deal and found his brain skipping whenever he tried to imagine going through with anything.

Koizumi narrowed her eyes. “Kuroba, I need your sperm, not your dick.”

He flinched. “Wow, you’ve gotten blunt.”

Koizumi raised one eyebrow, imperious. “I have the world ready to throw itself at my feet; I have no reason to play by social mores when it doesn’t suit me. Although...” Her toothy smirk returned. “If you’d rather seal the deal the old fashioned way, I wouldn’t object.”

“No!” Kaito said firmly. “No thank you!”

Koizumi laughed, so much more carefree than her old haughty laugh. It washed away some of the elite persona she’d been sporting since Kaito sat down. “You’re lucky I find your horror amusing instead of insulting,” she said, grinning.

“Ugh.” Yeah, he really didn’t want to sleep with Koizumi Akako, deal or no deal. (Thank god she wasn’t making that part of the stipulations.)

“So. Let me have your child and I will cut ties between ‘Kid’ and ‘Kuroba.’ And that will mean no more of _this_.” She waved a hand at the man still under her thrall. “At least not outside of your life as Kid. Plus one boost of luck for as long as it can hold out. I’ll even throw in being your informant for free.”

For free when it had been her original deal pitch and therefor implied as standing part of the deal. Well, Kaito could let that slide. “One condition; I get to know about the child. What their life is like, their personality, things about them. I... I’m not comfortable with the idea of having a child I know nothing about.”

Koizumi nodded, probably already having taken that possibility into consideration. “I can give you regular updates. I’ll even let you meet her eventually.”

 _How generous_ , Kaito thought wryly. Koizumi held out a hand, a Westernized symbolic sealing of the deal. Kaito took it hoping he wasn’t making a huge mistake. “Fine. I accept.”

“Wonderful,” Koizumi said with her predatory smile. “I’ll have to contact you with the details of this arrangement later.”

He didn’t really want to think about the how of it at the moment. It would be worth it to protect his family though. It had to be.

“I will need a hair or some item belonging to your son. Since he’ll be the focal point of the spell.”

“Right.” Giving Koizumi anything of Takumi’s seemed like a bad idea, but honestly it did make a certain amount of sense that she’d need it. He let his eyes stray back to the person who had been watching him earlier. The dazed expression hadn’t changed, the man still staring right through the scene in front of him. “What are you going to do with him?”

“I could turn him over to the police,” Koizumi mused, “but they wouldn’t have much to keep him on. I could have him commit a crime I suppose.”

Another chill went down Kaito’s spine. She could do that to anyone at any time. How many people had she done something like that to in order to get where she was today? There were questions he probably should put out of his mind as things he didn’t actually want to know.

“Or I could keep him...” Koizumi continued with a disturbingly thoughtful tone.

“Will he remember this conversation?” Kaito cut in.

“He’ll only remember what I want him to when I’m through,” Koizumi said.

Wonderful. Fantastic. Kaito had to leave before she decided that deal aside, she’d rather give it another shot with mind control on him. He had a heist to worry about anyway. “This has been a lovely chat, but I think it’s time I left,” Kaito said, standing up.

Koizumi sent him an amused look that said she knew exactly what was running through his mind. “Best of luck with your heist tonight, Kuroba. And word of advice, don’t try breaking the glass wall. It’s bulletproof reinforced ever since someone broke it a few years ago.”

“Well there goes half of my plans,” Kaito muttered.

Koizumi snorted. “Relax. We made a deal, correct? In a show of good faith, I can give you a bit of a boost. Consider it an advanced payment ensuring you keep your end of the bargain.”

Kaito blinked at her. Sure she’d saved him before but...

“Don’t give me that look. And don’t get complacent. I might be able to boost your luck, but that doesn’t mean you don’t need to still put in your best effort.” She tossed her head and he had the distinct memory of her doing the exact motion in high school, hair flaring out behind her. The dramatics of it were a bit lost with the hat and scarf.

“Of course.” He’d never assume otherwise. “Goodbye, Koizumi-san.”

“I’ll be in touch,” she said.

***

It was the inexperience of the local police and security guards that worked in Kaito’s favor. Even with Nakamori constantly checking faces and doing rounds, it didn’t take much effort to slide into the lineup of officers. Kaito was glad that Nakamori hadn’t been able to bring his whole task force. He was glad Aoko wasn’t there. Then there was the trigger for the smoke machine, hidden up in the air vents, and everything was covered in gray haze.

Internally, Kaito winced a bit, hoping it didn’t damage the collection; he knew now how easy it was to do unintentional damage. Still, he shed his disguise with the appropriate amount of drama and held the pins up in triumph.

“Wow, Nakamori-keibu,” Kaito—Kid—drawled, watching the officers stuffed into the tiny exhibit space all but fall over themselves in reaction to his appearance. “I choose a practically closed room space and I still get in. But then there was that time with the actual safe, so I should stop being surprised.”

Nakamori leaped forward only to crumple slightly, a baffled look on his face.

Kaito smiled. “A mild paralytic in the gas,” he said. Kaito had held his breath, knowing it was coming. “Don’t worry, it will wear off in an hour or so.”

“Damn you Kid!” Nakamori growled, trying to get his limbs to react properly as he slid to the floor. Around the room, other officers were similarly shaking and finding it impossible to do more than move a few centimeters at a time.

“Ah, better luck next time, Keibu~!” Kid said, striding toward the door. The gas had been released in the hallway too, so it should mean that way was clear as well. He took three strides before pausing at some trickle of instinct. There was a sharp _crack_ and a bullet embedded in the glass wall. Kaito traced the trajectory back to one of the local officers, steely determination in the man’s gaze as he held a gun in shaking hands. Not a local officer—or maybe not just a local officer.

Nakamori started swearing and Kaito moved as another shot rang out, cracks spider-webbing out from the impact site on the glass.

He dove for the door, glad for the glass now as it kept a third shot from hitting him.

There was another person in the hallway trying to get a gun up and aimed at him. Kaito spritzed knock-out gas in his face as he ran by. Useless in the long run as even if the would-be-killer was arrested, they always seemed to end up dead. And it technically wasn’t illegal for the officers to be shooting at him in the first place.

There weren’t any snipers waiting for him outside, no gunshots to dodge at any rate as Kaito ghosted past oblivious police officers and a couple of campus guards. Luck—or Koizumi’s brand of interference, acting on a watcher like she had on the man this morning. He shivered, doubling around and losing himself in the complexities of the campus until he exited it far from the museum, Kid’s clothing changed out for the appearance of yet another student.

He played up slight inebriation, hoping Nakamori and his men hadn’t ended up injured. He’d left them in a room with an armed gunman, paralyzed. It would weigh on his shoulders if anyone was injured, but Kaito got away. _Nakamori’s attention should be awake now though_ , he thought. Maybe, just maybe, they’d catch some of the watchers. That was the point after all.

No sniper meant no one to lead police attention to though, so the gunmen from the heist would have to be enough.

Kaito rolled the pins in the palm of his hand, back in his hotel room and safe again. They were so small and so clearly not what he was looking for. A blind he’d only half hoped he’d get something out of. Where did Koizumi’s deal fall on this? Could he trust it? The pins stilled and he curled fingers around them. Well, he’d find out. Koizumi never turned him over to the police at any rate.

A baby.

That couldn’t be all of it, there had to be a catch. That was something else he’d have to find out...

***

Things settled. The shadows watching them vanished almost overnight—Kaito wasn’t questioning how, it probably wasn’t something he wanted to know—though they never really vanished from Kid. But that had been the deal; hide the Kuroba family involvement, not shield Kid in his entirety. Kaito had passed off Takumi’s hairs to Akako and kept up his side of the deal, uncomfortable as it was to wrap his head around. So far she was keeping her end of the bargain.

Kudo stopped coming to heists again. Takumi started asking about magic tricks again. Aoko argued with him in a harsh whisper whenever she picked up Takumi again. And Momoi was running Jii’s bar unofficially despite how she kept saying she was going to pass it off to someone else. Kaito moved into his new apartment properly, and his mother finally _finally_ came home. She hadn’t pressed him for details on why he moved out, but then maybe she understood too well why he left. After all she’d spent most of Kaito’s teen years and beyond finding excuses not to be there at every turn.

Life wasn’t any less hollow feeling, but it wasn’t spiraling down deeper anymore either, so Kaito would take what he could get. The frantic energy filling him after Jii’s death had tapered out into weary routine and he’d just have to keep going through the motions until the smiles he pasted on his face in his day to day life were more than masks again. It was a little easier every day. Eventually he’d get there.

As life moved back toward the pattern it had been in before Jii’s death, Kaito knew he had to tie up a few loose ends.

Kudo and his wife were first among them.

The Kudo mansion hadn’t changed in the month Kaito had avoided it. The same security, the same worn paint that needed a new coating, the same piles of paper around Kudo’s desk with him frowning at some case or another in the late hours of the evening.

Ran sung their daughter to sleep in the upstairs hallway, her voice carrying through windows left open a crack for cool night air. Kaito hummed along, recognizing it as one that he used to sing to Takumi when Takumi was still an infant. It was a song about a moonlit night, appropriate for the half-moon big and bright in the sky. He let one last note hang in the night air before he slid into the study window.

Kudo, to his credit, noticed a beat after Kaito entered the room that he was there. Kaito sat on top of one of the lower bookshelves and waited patiently for Kudo’s gaze to find him. The tension in Kudo’s shoulders relaxed instantly when he realized who it was; it was a bit flattering that Kudo apparently still held some trust despite everything.

“Kid,” Kudo said.

“Hey.” Kaito gave a little wave and a tired smile. Kudo sat straighter in his chair as Kaito approached. There wasn’t any stiffness in his posture, no favoring of his arm, nor had there been while he was working; the injury from Kaito’s heist had to have healed cleanly or not been too bad to begin with.

“I thought you’d decided not to come back here,” Kudo said.

“I did,” Kaito said, letting himself be vulnerable and open. He owed Kudo that much. And Kudo had seen him far more vulnerable than this at any rate. “It didn’t seem right to just...leave things without any sort of resolution.”

“I didn’t expect to get any,” Kudo said. There wasn’t any judgment there. No anger or great sadness. A bit of regret, a bit of concern, but Kudo hadn’t been losing sleep over Kaito. Good. That was...good, even if it did make Kaito feel a little wistful. _Don’t have emotions over this when you’ve already decided the path you’re taking_ , he reminded himself.

“It deserves some,” Kaito said finally. “I wasn’t trying to play around or be misleading with...with what happened.” Somehow he couldn’t just spit out the words and be frank about it.

“I get that,” Kudo said. “You’re a flirt, but you’re not a player. I can make some guesses about what’s going on in your life, but I don’t think you’d appreciate what I have to say.”

Kaito shivered. No, being picked apart by Kudo’s sharp mind was not anything he enjoyed. It left him feeling vulnerable and like his masks were being stripped away one by one and that was a terrible thing. “I think I’ll skip being dissected, Meitantei,” Kaito said. He took a breath and let it out slowly. Kudo was content to wait for Kaito to find his words, relaxing back into his desk chair. “Heists aren’t safe. Not for me, not to detectives that follow me on them, not for bystanders or anyone involved in them. You were injured. I regret that.”

“I’m fine now—”

Kaito held up a hand and Kudo’s words cut off. “Fine or not, you came and you were hurt. I know you face murderers all the time, but you shouldn’t have to face my shadows on top of your own.”

“Isn’t that my choice?” Kudo muttered.

Kaito frowned at him. Yes, it was Kudo’s choice. He could chase Kid if he wanted and Kaito couldn’t stop him. “You have a family,” Kaito said simply. “You don’t need one more danger on top of your daily life. And in the end, if you caught me at a heist, what would you do?”

There was no mistaking the conflict that flashed across Kudo’s face.

Kaito smiled humorlessly. “Right. You have your morals and they’re somewhat flexible, but we both know where they fall in the end. You and Ran. I genuinely like you both,” Kaito admitted, for he owed them that much, “but I have the bad habit of liking things that end badly.” Case in point; Aoko. Hell, even his persona as Kid counted to an extent. “Who this would end badly for, well. It could be me, but most of the time it’s everyone else. You have more important things to focus on.”

“...We respect you, you know that, right?” Kudo said.

The words filled Kaito with a brief warmth. Respect wasn’t love, but from someone like Kudo, respect meant a lot.

“You’re crazy,” Kudo went on with a wry twist of his lips, “But you’re also brave and caring. I’ve seen you help people when it put you in danger, and you care about the officers chasing you even though they want to destroy everything you built yourself to be.”

“For every two people I’ve saved, there’s been someone I couldn’t,” Kaito said. “For every good, someone has lost something. For every moment I care, I’ve been twice as selfish. I’m not a good person, Kudo, not by the standards of the world, and not by my own standards. I can’t give you anything concrete or real and some things aren’t meant to be taken. I can’t be anything but Kid to you, and in the end investing half of myself isn’t enough. I like you, Kudo, but I can’t trust myself to you. And I can’t trust myself to be good and not drag you deeper into my own messes if I pursued something between us.”

Kudo nodded slowly, not like he agreed, but like he understood where Kaito was coming from. “I wasn’t going to ask more than you were willing to give,” Kudo said softly.

Kaito huffed a laugh, chest tight with emotions he didn’t want to have over this. “I’ve tried giving half of myself to someone. It doesn’t work out.”

“Where does that leave us?”

Rivals? Something like friends? Almost strangers—but no, they had too much history for that.  
“A thief and a detective,” Kaito said finally. “A showman and his critic, no more no less.” A blank slate.

“I am sure we’ve passed that point.” Kudo shook his head. “But fine. I’ll chase you if I end up at a heist but I won’t try to look for you. Put on a show; I’ll be watching even if I’m not in the audience.”

Good. They were in agreement to go back to how things were. Kaito could live with that. He hadn’t given Kudo or Ran his heart enough for it to break by turning back. “Tell Ran I’m sorry. She’s free to try and punch me the next time we’re in the same room.”

Kudo rolled his eyes. “She’s not going to try and kill you.”

“I’d hope not. I like living.” Well, he liked being alive at any rate. Living had its ups and downs. Kaito took a step back. It was time to go.

“Kid,” Kudo said before Kaito could get more than a few steps away. “Are you going to be okay?”

Kaito debated pasting on one of his ‘sincere’ smiles and dismissed it as fast as the thought occurred. Kudo would know it was fake. Instead, he gave Kudo a smile that showed all the exhaustion in him, a smile he meant because the concern was touching, but not the smile of someone who was okay. They both knew he wasn’t, so why pretend? “I’m getting there,” he said. Kaito turned away again with a wave of his hand. “You go back to bringing people to justice, Meitantei. I can see myself out.”

“Through the window or the door?”

“The exit of choice, obviously,” Kaito said, climbing onto the windowsill. “Doors are so predictable and lackluster.”

Behind him Kudo was probably rolling his eyes at the ceiling. Kaito held in a laugh picturing it. He didn’t look back to check though. Make a clean exit, a clean break.

“Stay safe, Kudo,” Kaito said. He thought Kudo might have said something back, but he was too busy climbing to make out the words. Upstairs, Ran had tucked in their daughter and was laying out clothes for the morning on a chest at the end of the bed.

It didn’t feel right to leave her without anything.

When she walked into the bathroom to brush her teeth, Kaito took a moment to place two flowers on the bed. A striped carnation and a cluster of sweet pea blossoms, a sorry, thank you and goodbye all wrapped up together. Whether she would look up the meanings or just appreciate the flowers, it was enough. Kudo could fill in the rest.

He left before Ran could return, down the side of the house and out past the gate in the space of a few breaths.

***

Two months later, Kaito sat on a roof, post heist. It had gone smoothly—almost too smoothly considering how life had been lately. So far, the deal he made with Akako was holding. At the end of the day, that was worth the price paid he supposed. Things with Aoko were a bit less strained for the moment. They’d had a civil evening together watching Takumi in a school play. Takumi had bounced back, dragging Kaito into his latest obsessions...which unfortunately included marine life. Kaito’s time with him was a bit...stressful...because of that, and Kaito was starting to think a random activity generator would be a great way to get them to try new things and bond at the same time. And contain less fish. He wished Takumi the best with his interest, really, but he could do without the pictures.

Kaito had spent those months moving into his new apartment properly. There was a room set up for Takumi now, furniture and bookshelves in the main room, and all the daily things he needed shoved into the tiny bedroom he’d claimed for his own. The neighbor next door was an older woman, half-deaf, but very friendly. Kaito made sure to give her a smile when he came and went, and sometimes picked up an extra pastry for her on weekends. It worked out perfectly coming and going as Kid too, which was a convenient happenstance that had him sending lady luck his fervent thanks.

Keiko was still all but running Jii’s bar, and frankly he was starting to wonder if he should just hand the whole thing over to her because he certainly didn’t have the time and she could use the business. It was still too soon to say if she’d accept if he offered though.

His emotions over Jii had...settled. Not vanished or worn away exactly, but the grief was easier to tuck away now, like how he could do the same for his father. He missed Jii a ton, but it wasn’t a stab to the heart every time he thought of him. That was enough.

Kaito sighed and laid out on the cold concrete rooftop, staring up at the blank night sky. Tokyo’s light pollution made seeing the stars all but impossible; it was just the blinking lights of planes visible beside the three-quarter moon. And so the earth kept turning.

It felt like it shouldn’t sometimes.

Somewhere far below a car horn blared. It wasn’t quite enough to cover the squeaking hinges of the roof door opening. Kaito didn’t bother moving; he wasn’t in Kid regalia anymore. He could be anyone up on a rooftop staring at the sky.

The newcomer wandered closer, noticing Kaito surprisingly fast considering he was in dark clothing and there was limited lighting here. Scuffed up sneakers stopped about a meter away.

“Come here often?” they said.

Kaito finally turned his head, not all that surprised to find Kudo Shinichi standing with a neutral expression on his face. Probably wondering if he’d guessed right. “Meitantei,” Kaito said, giving him a break. Kaito had been avoiding him the last few months after all. “How’d you find me?”

“I guessed,” Kudo said. His shoulders relaxed when Kaito confirmed his identity, and a moment later he sat down on the concrete by Kaito’s side.

“Are you supposed to admit things like that?” Kaito joked, his attention focused on the detective next to him even as he turned back to watching the moon. “Doesn’t that destroy your detective mystique?”

“What mystique? I just draw conclusions from fact.”

“You put yourself in roles in your head and follow things to their conclusion,” Kaito corrected. He got a small scoff in return. They were never going to agree with each other when it came to their respective abilities. It had annoyed him once, but Kaito only felt a flicker of fondness at the moment. Kudo was still Kudo, regardless of how things had and had not changed between them. “You were looking for me?”

“I won’t be coming to heists for a while,” Kudo said.

Kaito waited because Kudo already wasn’t coming to heists, hadn’t been since he was shot at.

“Officially won’t be, I suppose,” Kudo said. “I didn’t want to seem like I dropped off the map.”

“The courtesy is touching, but unnecessary,” Kaito said. “It’s not like you have a way to look into me if I dropped off the map.”

“This is me letting you know so you won’t just pop in unannounced like you do,” Kudo said. More softly he added, “Ran’s going to have another baby.”

Kaito held very still for a moment; he hadn’t expected Kudo to have more children. Few people had more than one and both Kudo and Ran had busy lifestyles that made raising one child hard enough. “Congratulations,” Kaito said because that was the expected response for that sort of news.

Kudo waved the word away. “It was a surprise,” he said. “We weren’t trying to have more, but...” He smiled. It captured the same emotions Kaito had felt when Aoko turned out to be pregnant; a little bit overwhelmed, a little bit worried, but happy.

“Congratulations,” Kaito said again, this time with full sincerity. “You seem to be pretty good parents so far. I’m sure you’ll do fine with this one too.”

“Of course,” Kudo said. “I will be cutting back with a lot of things the next year, especially once the baby comes. It’s going to be busy for a while.”

“Babies do bring chaos.” And sleepless nights and anxiety, but also smiles and warmth and more fulfillment than Kaito had felt with anything else. Holding Takumi and knowing he was his... yeah, he knew just how Kudo had to feel. “How far along is Ran-san?”

“Around three and a half months at best guess.”

Kaito hummed, closing his eyes. Aoko’d been two months when they figured it out. That felt like a lifetime ago, but it wasn’t even ten years yet. “You’ll be missed, Kudo.” He pulled of a teasing lilt to his voice perfectly, but Kudo probably saw right through him. “I can’t believe you’re resisting the temptation to unmask me here and now though, I’m not even running away.” He looked back at Kudo just in time to catch him rolling his eyes.

“We’re not at a heist now. The most illegal thing in this moment is being on this roof at all.”

“And yet here you are.”

“Here I am,” Kudo agreed.

Kaito smiled, the quirk of lips hopefully lost in the dark. He could keep this, probably, if he wanted to. Talking with Kudo so long as it was outside of a heist. But that would mean more danger to Kudo, and if Kaito brought that danger, Kudo wouldn’t hesitate to turn Kaito in if it meant protecting his family. And Kaito wouldn’t blame him for it. No, better to leave things like this. Neutral, just shy of friendly, but not quite there. “Have a good break with your family, Kudo. Children grow up fast, so take every moment you can.” He sat up, mirrored Kudo’s posture and positioning. Kaito only had light prostheses modifying his face at the moment; they still could have been cousins, or perhaps slightly warped mirror images. “Maybe I’ll take a break too.” He should follow his own advice.

“Maybe you should.” Kudo watched him with eyes that saw too much as Kaito broke away, stretching and heading for the side of the building with the fire escape in a slow meander. Plenty of time for Kudo to figure out he was leaving. “Kid!” Kudo called after him, just loud enough to carry across the growing space between them.

Kaito paused, waiting.

“Are you going to be okay?”

He’d asked that last time too. Silly detectives caring about people they shouldn’t. A dim memory of Hakuba, hiding Connery’s glove and the way he always wanted to hear the criminal’s perspective. Kudo resolving old hurts and uncovering truths so wounds no longer festered. Aoko taking the time to learn how to say the right words to calm people down so they were less afraid or hurt or angry. They should waste less time on people like Kaito—less time worrying about his emotions at least. “Little by little, Kudo. Things get better little by little.” He flashed a grin over his shoulder. “I’m going to be fine.” He could almost believe he would be, for a certain value of fine.

Kaito disappeared into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of the fic proper. But expect an extra chapter at some point in the near future because my brain decided it had enough of angst and demanded some happy and that meant it dove off into writing an AU of this AU because it is absolutely ridiculous like that. (So basically expect an extra chapter where KaiShinRan miraculously managed to work out for them)


	4. Extra: The AU where Kaito stays with the Kudos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ordinarily I read stuff over and edit and typo check but I just. Want to get this out there. So I stop poking at it. So Here. Have almost 40,000 words of AU of AU. This diverges directly after Kaito sleeps with Ran and Shinichi where he has the choice of staying for breakfast or (fleeing for his life) leaving. In this, he stays and staying changes everything...

“I should go,” Kaito said out loud. Some of the sleepy relaxation left them, Kudo’s hand pausing at Kaito’s hip.

“You could stay for breakfast,” Ran offered.

Kaito pictured it, sitting down at the Kudos’ table as they went about their daily routine. Either things would start to feel awkward the longer he sat there, out of place in their lives, or he’d be folded into their life seamlessly like he had always been there. He wasn’t sure which would be worse—awkward moments could be worked past. Fitting into their life though... that was too much. Too tempting. Something he didn’t deserve.

“I...” Kaito started to refuse and made the mistake of catching Ran’s eyes. The words died in his throat.

Ran touched his cheek, so careful of the prosthetic there that his makeup must be pretty much useless in hiding it right now. “Please. We’d like you there.” Kudo’s hand joined hers, wrist warm against the back of Kaito’s neck. How could he refuse when Ran was looking at him like he mattered? When they still held him too gently?

His throat felt tight. “Okay.”

Ran smiled and gave him a quick, chaste kiss.

“I can’t stay long,” Kaito forced out around the clog in his throat. There was always too much he had to do, even on the weekend.

“Then we’d better get up.” She slid away, leaving his front cold. Kaito shivered and Kudo’s thumb rubbed against the back of his neck.

Kaito sat up. Ran put on a robe. He was a bit disappointed to see her covered again; he’d felt the muscle on her, but seeing it clearly was different. She could kill someone with her legs. Kaito blinked as Kudo’s warmth left his side, turning in time to get an eyeful of him too. At least he could say he had a taste for attractive people.

The patter of footsteps outside the door heralded their daughter’s arrival. “Kaa-chan, Tou-chan, wake up! Wake up!”

Kudo scrambled for boxers as the door rattled, the handle too high for her to quite reach, though who knew what a determined toddler could manage. Kaito looked around for his clothes, latching onto where they hung half on a chair by the window. His underwear didn’t seem to be in sight. Kaito grabbed them and stuffed his legs in without them. Either he could find them later or he could give them up as a loss. It wasn’t like the DNA evidence was worth worrying about when there was a used condom leaking on the bed. It had to have fallen off when he pulled away from Ran earlier.

He wrinkled his nose and tossed it.

There was a loud bang on the door and Kudo swore under his breath. “Just a minute, Hanae! Kaa-chan and Tou-chan are getting up!”

Despite himself, Kaito smiled. “They don’t give you any time for yourself at that age, do they?”

Kudo shot him a bemused look, tossing a robe of his own over his shoulders. It turned into concern as he looked closer.

Kaito looked away like it would hide the tear tracks on his face or how hard it was to pull his masks back on. He knotted his fingers together, balanced on the precipice of leaving after all.

Ran brushed his shoulder. “There’s a bathroom right off our room. If you need a moment...”

Kaito could have kissed her, almost did kiss her, but he wasn’t sure what the boundaries were now that they were out of bed. Instead he shot her a strained smile and ducked into the bathroom. As he shut the door, he heard Ran finally open the bedroom door and Hanae’s happy squeal as she barreled into the room.

Kaito tuned the bedroom out and checked his face in the mirror. He was a mess, makeup streaked and prosthetics holding on by some minor miracle. He looked like he’d cried his eyes out. It wasn’t inaccurate. How the hell did he have tears now when he couldn’t summon any for Jii? Contrarily, his eyes prickled again. He took a deep breath and shoved that feeling down. Shoved everything down until all that was left was small enough that he could pull his masks back up. Kaito tried a smile. It looked real enough, could be real enough if Kudo or Ran smiled at him.

It took a handful of minutes to fix his makeup and reattach the prosthetics and put himself into some sort of order. Kaito smiled at himself in the mirror again. Tried to feel it. It didn’t work when the post-coital warmth had faded into anxiety and guilt. What was he doing here? If he went down and joined them at breakfast, he was going to cross a line. _Another_ line. If he joined in domesticity, he’d want to keep it and Kaito had never been good about ignoring things he wanted.

He let himself out of the bathroom. Ran and her daughter were gone, but Kudo was still in the bedroom, taking the time to make the bed.

“I think these are yours,” he said, tossing Kaito his underwear.

Kaito couldn’t help flushing, tucking them away into one of his hidden pockets. “Thanks.”

“Ran wanted to know if there was anything you like to eat for breakfast.”

“I eat pretty much anything. Except fish,” he added, shuddering internally.

Kudo’s brows went up at that. “How do you avoid eating fish in Japan?”

“Very carefully.” It was a personal detail freely given. He knew dozens about Kudo and Ran. They barely knew him at all in comparison. Kaito had no idea what he was doing. The space between him and Kudo felt like a canyon instead of a few meters. He didn’t let any of his uncertainty show on his face, giving Kudo a faint smile. “Breakfast?”

“Yeah.” Kudo’s gaze lingered on him for a moment before he led the way. “...Ran usually makes something traditional on weekends. I’ll let her know about the fish.”

“Thanks...” The urge to reach out and touch, to seek some sort of...of tactile affirmation reared its head. Kaito stomped it down. That would just be needy and pathetic and he’d already let himself be too vulnerable.

Ran had already started the rice, Hanae balanced on her hip as she started in on making miso soup. Kudo crossed to her and took their daughter from her arms with a whispered word. Ran nodded and sent a smile Kaito’s way before going back to breakfast prep.

“Anything I can help with?” Kaito asked.

“No, just take a seat,” Ran said.

“We’d only be in the way,” Kudo said. In his arms, Hanae turned to stare at Kaito.

“Tou-chan... Who?” she mumbled, half-chewing on one of her fingers.

“This is a friend,” Kudo said, rearranging his hold so she could get a better look at Kaito without falling over. “He’s having breakfast with us this morning.”

Hanae gave Kaito the unwavering stare that only very young children could seem to pull off and that, at least, was something he was familiar with. Children he could handle.

“Hey, Hanae-chan! You can call me Kid, ok?” He let a pack of cards fall into his hand, serving dual purpose of child entertainment and keeping his hands busy as he shuffled it. “Want to see something cool?”

She smiled around the finger in her mouth and Kaito smiled back. A real smile because how could he not smile at a cute child when they were smiling at him? Kaito made the cards arc between his hands dramatically in increasingly complex motions until at the end of one big arc, he vanished them entirely. Hanae gasped.

“Hmm, now where did they go?” He made a show of looking up his sleeves as his audience giggled. He pulled out a handkerchief and shook it. A bouncy ball and a feather seemingly fell out of it. He caught the ball, juggling it one handed. “Not there.” Another handkerchief and two more balls. “Or there.” He looked at Hanae and Kudo smiling at him, caught up in his impromptu performance. “Where do you think they went?” Three balls juggled in his left hand as he paid them no attention.

“...Your shirt,” Hanae said.

“My shirt. In my sleeves?” He swapped juggling back and forth to show his empty sleeves.

“The front!” Hanae said, pointing.

“Front pocket...” Kaito stuck a hand in the chest pocket. “Nope, only ten yen.” The coin joined the balls. “Hmm... I think...” He crossed over to them, Hanae grinning behind her hands. “I think you might have it.”

“No!”

“Really? Then what’s this?” He made it look like he pulled a deck of cards from behind her ear. Hanae gasped. “Looks like you had it after all!” Kaito tucked the cards in his front pocket and caught the balls one by one before twisting his wrist and replacing the balls with a tiny paper flower. “I think this is for you. A lovely flower for the flower girl.”

Hanae clapped enthusiastically. Children were always the best audiences. For once, Kudo didn’t look like he was trying to pick apart Kaito’s performance either. He just looked glad to see his daughter happy. The warm smile on his face tripped Kaito up a bit, especially when it turned on him. Kaito always wanted what he couldn’t have. Kaito let Hanae take the flower in a crushing grip that would ruin it sooner rather than later, but her happy smile was all that really mattered. When Hanae reached arms in his direction to be held, Kaito looked to Kudo for permission before taking her from his arms.

The toddler immediately started patting for Kaito’s various hidden pockets. Like father, like daughter; they had to know what was behind the mystery.

“You’re good at that,” Kudo said.

“Naturally. What kind of a showman would I be if I couldn’t pull off a bit of sleight of hand?”

“Showman, huh? Well you do like getting everyone’s attention.” The fondness hadn’t left Kudo’s face.

Kaito didn’t know what to do without the usual danger underneath their words. He swallowed and kept a cheerful face on. “What can I say? I like being in the spotlight.” Hanae had finished her investigation and pulled the cards back out of his chest pocket, dropping them on the floor one by one. He’d pick them up in a minute. “Children aren’t usually critics either.”

“Breakfast!” Ran said as the rice cooker clicked, finishing its cycle.

Somehow during his show she’d managed to not only finish the soup, but fry several eggs. She slid the eggs over a bowl of rice for each of them and ladled the soup into bowls as Kudo set his daughter in a highchair. There were even two little bowls for Hanae, a tiny smiley-face on the egg in ketchup. It was so _domestic_. Kaito sat on the edge of his chair, too on edge to relax as Ran gave him his serving.

“You’re good with children,” Ran said, coming to sit at Kaito’s side, her and Kudo bracketing their daughter between them in anticipation of having messes to deal with.

“Children are easy to get along with,” Kaito said, going for honesty again. “They’re straightforward in what they feel and need.” Hanae picked up a squat children’s spoon, jabbing it into her eggs and rice with enthusiasm. Takumi at that age had gone from shoving things in his face with his hands to a weird aversion to anything getting him sticky and as a result would try to use his utensils with a very serious expression that had looked strange on a child’s face.

Kudo had poured coffee, offering Kaito a cup.

Kaito took it even though he preferred his coffee with cream and sugar. Their hands brushed passing it off and he felt it all the way up his arm. “Itadakimasu,” Kaito said softly, using the meal to escape conversation. Beside him, Kudo and Ran exchanged a few words about plans for the day in between helping Hanae with her breakfast. It could have felt like he was being shut out except that they kept their bodies angled toward him, open and accepting. The small glances sent Kaito’s way. Ran’s body comfortably in his personal space when she leaned to get the soy sauce from the middle of the table. He couldn’t share about his day. He didn’t even know where to start to keep the lines between personal and impersonal blurred. There were reasons that he’d kept Kid on a business only relationship with the people around him, but he’d crossed that line last night, no, crossed it a while back when he started watching them in their home.

The Kudos moved around him with Kaito in their space like he belonged, like all those times of watching he could have slipped in easy as you please. The coffee scalded his tongue, bitter and sour without sweetener. He couldn’t say if the meal was good or not. Hanae spilled miso broth around her bowl. Kaito had a napkin in hand before either of her parents could finish reaching for one.

“Yeah, soup’s hard,” he said to her unhappy expression at her food not getting to her mouth. He leaned past Ran to clean off her chubby baby fingers and help reposition them on the spoon. “Take it real slow, kiddo. You’ve got to keep practicing to get it right all the time. You’re doing pretty good though. Look at how you made it through half the bowl already.”

“‘s good,” Hanae said, meaning the soup so far as Kaito could tell, smile back already. Smiley kid. A happy kid.

Kudo was watching again and Ran hadn’t said anything at all about him barging into her personal space to touch her baby, and Kaito hadn’t even thought that he shouldn’t; it was ingrained like correcting Takumi’s grip on his pencil was ingrained or readjusting tiny fingers for learning a basic magic trick. It gave too much away and not enough at the same time and Kaito could leave them wondering or he could keep pushing them away at arm’s length.

They’d kept his flowers, two red roses on their bedroom windowsill, pulled him into their bed and hadn’t asked anything of him so far.

“I have a kid,” Kaito offered as he settled back in his own seat. Calculation on Kudo’s face, that need to dig, and polite curiosity on Ran’s—they wanted to push but he knew they wouldn’t. They were worried they’d scare him away, Kaito realized. And that meant they must actually want him here beyond being polite or just extending the intimacy of the night before. ...What was he supposed to do with that? He ate a few bites of food, realized that just saying he had a child could lead to all sorts of speculation about his marital status and whether or not he was cheating. “And am divorced.” There, cleared that up and pulling back another layer of Kid to show a real man beneath, one who had a life that was documented in official papers and had personal relationships that could and did fail.

“No wonder you’re good with Hanae,” Ran said, diffusing any growing awkwardness. “We didn’t have any experience at all with babies when we had her. Every day is a learning process.”

“I’m sure you were much better prepared than I was.” Not teenagers, not trying to go to school, married for a few years already, everything done the way society said it was supposed to go. “I am honestly not sure how we lived through having a newborn.”

“Coffee,” Kudo said raising his cup. “Coffee goes a long way.”

Kaito nodded with overblown solemnity. “It truly does. Thank goodness for caffeine for all the sleep deprived new parents out there.” He took a sip of said coffee, no longer burning his mouth. “And all of the exhausted ones with small children. I’m sorry to say it’s not much more restful when they reach the point of full sentences. Then they can easily open doors.” And climb on counters and knock over chairs and get their hands on things that they really shouldn’t have been able to find let alone try to play with.

“I think she’s halfway there already,” Kudo muttered.

Ran laughed and Kudo smiled and...Kaito smiled too. A real smile. He was in too deep too fast. He’d missed having people to sit with in the morning and to talk to. He wanted to keep talking, spill out stories about Takumi and other potentially incriminating things that were too private for Kid to share but just private enough for Kaito to feel like he was letting them in and that was too big of a risk right now. He looked away and finished his meal quickly.

“Thank you for the meal,” he said, setting his chopsticks across his bowl. “Ran-san, breakfast was delicious. I...really should be going.”

Their smiles dipped. “Of course,” Kudo said. He stood after a quick, unreadable look with Ran. He crossed round the table. “I’ll walk you out.”

Kaito almost laughed at the thought of using their front door. “I think I could find my own way out.”

Kudo rolled his eyes. “You don’t have to sneak around when you’re invited.”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

“Have a good day, Kid-san,” Ran said. She caught his hand, squeezed it before letting go.

“You too, Ran-san.”

Kudo warm at his back as they left the kitchen, standing in the hallway because Kaito wasn’t going to leave out the front door even if he was invited, no matter how Kudo seemed to be trying to herd him toward it with how close he was. Kaito stilled at Kudo’s hand on his elbow, the press of a forehead against the back of his neck.

“This wasn’t just a one-time offer,” Kudo said to Kaito’s back. “We’re not the sort of people to do something like this casually.”

“Kudo...” Kaito exhaled, shaky. He covered Kudo’s hand with his own. They were going to break him wide open and then there’d be nothing holding him up, just a mess of hollow spaces bared for the world to see, honeycombed and jagged.

“You don’t have to say anything now. Just think about it.”

Kaito nodded once, stiff. He’d think. Oh, he’d be thinking about this a lot in the next few days. He wasn’t going to make any promises though. He was going to leave and if he didn’t manage to compartmentalize by the next heist things would be hell... Would Kudo give him more time if he asked? “Kudo...” How to ask it? Could he even? Was that too much to push when they were barely in a truce outside of heists? “If I asked for time to get my head around this...”

Kudo froze for one unnerving moment before he let go. The gap felt so much larger than a few hand spans between them. “Are you asking me to stay away?”

“Not forever,” Kaito said. “Just this next heist. I...don’t think I’d be able to meet you at my best right now.” It...hurt to admit out loud that he wasn’t alright at the moment. Kudo had seen him fall apart barely an hour ago so he knew it was true. Still, it was one thing to have seen it, it was another to talk about it and Kaito just couldn’t be that open right now. Not with Kudo or anyone. “After that, I’ll meet you halfway I just...”

He wouldn’t cry again. He wouldn’t show his weaknesses twice in one day.

“Okay...”

Kaito looked back, too surprised at the agreement to hide the emotion. Kudo looked conflicted. It had to be killing him to agree to stay away from a heist. “Seriously?”

“I’d be a distraction and it wouldn’t be a fair challenge.” Kudo pulled on a smirk that had been better suited for his face when he was still Conan. “If I catch you, I’d want you to be at your best.”

“As if you could catch me at my best,” Kaito scoffed automatically. “Critics can heckle all they want; my performances are art.”

“We’ll just have to see some point in the future. You and me, battle of wits.”

And that had always been the best part of heists, the challenge and pitting his intellect against some of the most brilliant minds on the police force. Kaito loved and hated being Kid, but it was moments like outsmarting Kudo that made it fun, not just a curse he’d drug around for too many years past its expected expiration date. “I’ll match that.”

“Good.” Kudo pulled Kaito into a quick, rough kiss, letting him go again just as quickly. “I’ll see you in two heists then.”

 _If not sooner_ , Kaito’s traitorous brain whispered, wanting to kiss Kudo again since apparently that was on the table even outside the bedroom. “See you, Kudo. Thanks.”

Kaito dropped a smoke bomb because he couldn’t just leave like a normal person, they were expecting some sort of dramatics from him. While Kudo waved away smoke, Kaito slid into a random room and bolted out the window.

He was smiling and it was a fragile thing. It felt a little like hope and a lot like longing and Kaito knew he’d be back before long. It was too tempting to stay away for long.

***

If Kaito found it hard to keep away from Kudo’s place before, it was doubly difficult now even with the jumble of mixed emotions surrounding their last encounter. He wanted to crawl back through their window and into their arms again. To have them curl around him and get nothing more from it than innocent sleep. He wanted to never talk to Kudo again because he’d shown too much and been too honest and that was terrifying. If things continued, Kaito’s masks could be peeled away until he was laid bare and who even knew what was at the bottom of everything anymore? He wanted to read picture books to Kudo’s daughter and help clean the dishes after a meal. He wanted to go apologize and reiterate that he couldn’t do this because it was a stupid, impulsive decision and he was in no position to have any sort of close relationship with anyone. Especially not as Kid.

The warring thoughts lingered as he was at work or at home or even through helping Takumi with homework. It wasn’t like him to be so indecisive about something. Kaito made choices and committed. Even the stupid ones. And if they were too stupid, he made new choices to get back out. That was how it worked. He’d made a stupid choice to take the route to seduce Kudo and his wife...somehow...and he could either accept that they were interested in having some kind of relationship with Kid or he could turn them down and go on like nothing ever happened.

They’d never tell anyone about his breakdown, never tell about any of it so they really could go on like it never happened if Kaito wanted it.

The problem was that he didn’t want to pretend. He didn’t really want the night in their bed to have been a fling done because of a desperate state of mind. He wanted casual intimacy and gentle touches and waking up next to people who knew he spent his spare time as a thief but still wanted him there. The problem was that he shouldn’t want that and couldn’t possibly make it work. Not with his job and Takumi and Aoko and Kid filling his time. And certainly not with Kudo chasing Kid. It was a fast track to heartbreak all over again and he _knew_ it.

Kaito always did have a problem about falling for things that would hurt him.

This wasn’t an exception.

A week after waking to Kudo and Ran’s hands on his body, he sat in a park watching Takumi and Shiemi run around playground equipment. It was a good moment, the kind of moment that he cherished, and the whole day had been good from Takumi and Shiemi’s joy at being together to how they seemed to have built up a complex mashup of Takumi’s favorite sentai show and Shiemi’s current favorite magical girl series, beating some imaginary villain that had a lair at the top of the playset. It was a happy moment that already felt bittersweet as it was happening because he knew it would be contrasted with the rest of reality as soon as the moment ended.

Kudo and Ran would perhaps be a bright moment, but could it really last? Did he have any right to even try when all they knew was Kid’s mask?

Then again, even if it was only a brief moment, wasn’t this moment with Takumi at the park worth having?

At the heart of it all, Kaito realized there was a good deal of fear centered around letting someone in, especially in regards to Kid. Jii had died and Kaito’s mother and Aoko were barely in his life as the only three people who’d ever been close to him and known Kid. Well, technically there had been Koizumi and Hakuba way back in school but they barely counted since they’d been more enemies than friends. Either way, they weren’t in his life either and that was the end of an already extremely tiny list. If he got closer to Kudo and his wife as Kid, he would inevitably be getting close to them as Kaito too. He wouldn’t be able to hold a persona nor would he want to if things went further.

He wasn’t sure he wanted to try to build up something that would just break as everything else inevitably had.

And yet... And yet he wanted to try anyway. It would hurt all the more when it ended, but he’d have had something nice while it lasted.

On the playground, Shiemi tackled Takumi to the ground. Was he playing a villain now? Takumi shoved her off and they started bickering, so Kaito stood up, heading the issue off now before one of them got a bit too angry at the other.

“Takumi, Shiemi-chan, want to get ice cream before we head home?”

Two faces whipped in Kaito’s direction before they ran over with all the eagerness and clumsiness of puppies.

“Can I get two scoops? And chocolate?” Takumi asked, barreling into Kaito’s legs.

“We’ll see when we get there,” Kaito said. He let the kids drag him toward the park exit.

***

Despite how he’d suggested Kudo stay away from the heist, and despite the intent to keep away until his mind had been made up, Kaito found himself outside the Kudo manor the night before his next heist, too tense to go in Kudo’s bedroom window but too tempted to go home and sleep like he should be doing.

Kudo and Ran were inside, curled up just like he’d seen them last time, though the roses on the windowsill were gone now, blossoms spent.

If he crossed the threshold, Kaito had no doubt that he’d be welcomed back into their bed just like last time. He could curl up with warm, welcoming bodies for nothing more than a good night’s sleep. He could even leave before they woke if he wanted to and they probably wouldn’t hold it against him. And if he really wanted to he was sure they’d be up for more than sleeping sometime as well. But if Kaito crossed that threshold he wouldn’t be able to take it back.

Kaito always dove headfirst into the biggest decisions of his life. All or nothing.

He pressed a gloved hand to a windowpane. In bed, Kudo shifted restlessly, likely sensing the eyes on him even in his sleep. Another press, and Kaito felt the window shift; it was unlocked. _In or out, Kuroba,_ he thought to himself. _Are you in or out?_ The window slid up smoothly, quiet as a whisper. For a long moment Kaito crouched on the sill, half in, half out of the room.

Kudo shifted again, eyes fluttering open and landing on Kaito. He didn’t move or reach out or say anything, but Kaito could feel the question between them. Kudo wasn’t going to ask or pressure. Kaito wasn’t going to apologize or explain. Kaito set a foot in the room. Kudo slid closer to Ran, making space for Kaito in the bed closest to an easy exit.

When Kaito slid beneath the covers, Kudo pressed a kiss to the back of Kaito’s neck. Kudo’s warm feet brushed against Kaito’s cold ones. Kaito closed his eyes and let the tension drain out of him.

He’d made his choice.

***

Kaito woke, panic and adrenaline flooding his system as hazy remnants of a nightmare flitted behind his eyes. He’d woken silent and still, like he was hiding in a shadow from prying eyes and it took a long moment to recognize his surroundings as the Kudos’ bedroom. The room was gray with twilight, the sun on the edge of rising. Kudo and Ran were fast asleep beside him, curled up tight and warm under the covers. At some point in the night, Kudo had slid one leg between Kaito’s legs and Ran had a lone arm thrown across both their hips. Slowly, their steady breathing calmed his body down.

Just a dream, an awful, horrible, entirely false dream. He couldn’t even say for sure what had happened in it only that it had triggered all of the danger signs he usually got from snipers on buildings or being cornered by armed detectives. He ran a hand down his face. Those were the worst. He understood reliving trauma or mashing horrible moment or fears together, but the unsettling dreams where there wasn’t any clear danger just made him feel paranoid and upset.

The clock on the bedside table put the time at six minutes to five o’clock. It was time to make his escape.

Kaito eased his way out of bed, careful not to wake its sleeping occupants. Kudo frowned in his sleep, but he just curled up a little tighter to stay warm. It was cute if Kaito let himself dwell on it. He kind of wanted to stay and just watch them sleep, but he had work eventually and he really should go...

Or he could pay them back for breakfast last time and go start the coffee so that it was ready when they woke up in a half hour. Waking up to caffeine was always a brighter way to start a day. (And it made him feel a little less guilty about sneaking in and out of their bed.)

He slipped out the bedroom door, which had been left open a convenient crack. He only got halfway down the hallway when he hears a familiar high-pitched whining sound, followed by the stuttering start of sobs—a child waking up unhappy. Kaito’s feet took him toward Hanae’s room before he could make the conscious decision to do so, instinct to soothe rearing its head.

Hanae sat upright in her bed, face screwed up with the start of unhappy wails. Kaito moved toward her immediately, soothing sounds coming from his throat on automatic, pitching his voice more toward Kudo’s timbre since it was more likely to be comforting to her.

“Hey, hey, shhh, did you have a bad dream?”

Hanae sobbed and lifted her arms to be held, not caring who he was at the moment in a blind desire for comfort.

Kaito scooped her up and rocked back and forth on his feet. “Shhh. Yeah, dreams are scary. They feel real and bad, but it’s okay now. It’s over. It can’t hurt you.”

Hanae wailed. Tiny hiccup-y sobs shook her shoulder and Kaito held her through it, whispering whatever came to mind. Her parents would be awake soon if they weren’t already.

“Kaa-chan!” Hanae said through her tears.

“Yeah, we’ll get you to your Kaa-chan. Shh, I’ve got you. It’s going to be okay.” Kaito stepped back into the hall, looking up to meet Kudo’s eyes at the doorway to his bedroom. There was a moment of tension as Kudo’s brain realized who Kaito was, and then the edge of a threat that built in the split second melted away as he moved to take Hanae from Kaito’s arms. Ran followed behind him, slower, taking a beat longer to recognize Kaito with his particular prosthetic choices this time. Hanae reached for her the moment she realized her mother was there, half squirming out of Kudo’s arms before Ran could catch her up in a hug, soothing away the lingering fears.

Kaito hung back, watching. He should go. They clearly had it handled. But he hated to leave while Hanae was still crying. “I think it was a nightmare,” he said to Kudo, just loud enough to be heard over continued sobs.

Kudo nodded. He looked exhausted, tension around his eyes as he watched his wife and daughter. “There was an incident with Ran and Hanae and a mugger the other day.”

Kaito flinched. A once over of Ran showed no sign of bruises or bandages, nothing on Hanae, so... “She saw everything?”

“Yeah. It’s not the first time something like this had happened, and it’s probably not going to be the last.” Kudo’s hands clenched at his sides, unclenched, like he wished he could tear the world into a better order. “This time she was old enough to realize Ran was in danger, not just be scared and confused. She’s had nightmares the last few days.”

That explained the door being open.

“Were you coming or going?” Kudo asked, tearing his eyes away from his daughter.

Kaito smiled, wry. “Going. I...hope you don’t mind me sharing your bed for a few hours last night.”

“It was an open invitation,” Kudo said. “Though it’d be nice if you let us know you were here.”

“And wake you up?” Kaito raised an eyebrow. “I know what parenting a toddler is like. You need the sleep.” He put on a grin. “I was going to leave you coffee and note, but...” He shrugged.

“You could stay...?” Kudo offered.

“Can’t,” Kaito said, just a bit regretful. He wasn’t sure if he was up for the stress of navigating another breakfast so soon. At any rate he had work to get ready for and clothes that needed changing. “Have another day to face,” he said with a practiced smile.

Kudo side eyed Kaito’s grin. “Full of only legal things, I’m sure.”

“Meitantei,” Kaito said, hand over his heart. “I’m hurt, wounded that you would think that of me! I have a perfectly ordinary nine-to-five waiting for me. Have to pay bills somehow.” He could see Kudo turning that over, wondering what the hell sort of job Kaitou Kid might have in his time not spent thieving. “I even pay my taxes.”

“Somehow that ruins the mysterious image.”

“Exactly. I work hard to keep that image. Of course thievery doesn’t pay well when you never keep what you steal.” From the tilt of Kudo’s head, he never thought about the cost that went into Kaito’s tricks and endless supply of smoke bombs and knock out gas. If anything, being a thief cost Kaito a hefty chunk of his paycheck and his family’s inherited money as well. Kaito patted Kudo on the shoulder. “You have fun being a straight-laced detective.”

Kaito dodged away from any possibility of Kudo reaching out and hurried over to Ran. In her arms, Hanae’s tears had slowed to sniffles. “Your Kaa-chan is just fine,” Kaito said to Hanae, giving her a warm smile. She sniffed and stared at him, and okay, she probably didn’t recognize him with the prosthetics if he’s even left a large enough impression for her to remember him in the first place. That was fair. “I’ll be leaving through the bedroom window,” he said to Ran, “if that’s not a problem.”

“That’s fine.” Ran stroked Hanae’s back, shifting back and forth from foot to foot in a gentle rocking motion. “Next time wake one of us up!”

“I would hate to interrupt your beauty sleep,” Kaito said, masks on strong this morning.

Ran rolled her eyes. “Come closer.”

With all the wariness of a man who knew how dangerous a woman could be when she was annoyed, Kaito shifted a step or two nearer. Ran caught his shoulder and pulled him down a few centimeters to kiss his cheek.

“There, now you can go,” she said.

Kaito touched where she’d kissed. Huh.

“Our window’s open whenever,” Ran said. “It would be polite to knock first though.”

“That would ruin the surprise,” he said automatically.

“I think we can live without a surprise in this case.”

Kaito gave her a dramatic bow. “If the lady insists. Now I really do have to leave. Bye-bye, Hanae-chan! Bye-bye adults!”

He heard Ran laugh behind him as he hurried off into the Kudos’ bedroom and out their window. All things considered, it hadn’t been a complete disaster for only the second time waking up with them.

***

There was no Kudo waiting for him at the heist the next day, no surprise detectives, just Nakamori-keibu and his task force. And Kaito was best at handling them among all his opponents over the years. Outside the air was charged for a storm, too windy for a glider and thus not where Nakamori would anticipate him escaping too.

Kaito had dummy balloons there and while a glider wasn’t possible in the wind, a balloon could carry him a decent distance. Kaito’s breath burned in his lungs as he burst onto the roof—in a good way, the burn of pushing his body instead of with the edge of icy terror. The balloons were where he’d left them, a dark lump hidden under a tarp. They were gray to blend in with the night, and he quick-changed into matching clothing in a flash. _Time to go,_ he thought. He grabbed the harness as he untied the ropes keeping his balloons there, wiggling into it as the last tie came undone... and up, harness catching across his torso until he managed to shift a little more to account for hips.

Wind dragged him immediately up and away. There was no way to control it, no way of knowing where he’d end up really, but the harness location was situated to prevent problems if it brushed against buildings or other debris and he had a valve to reduce the gas trapped inside and lower him back down. Away in a dizzying spiral of eddies, like the best and worst thrill ride, as the world was a blur of light and dark beneath him. There was the museum fading behind him, there were residential buildings, trees, cars on a major street—the balloons trembled suddenly and he went from drifting wildly to descending fast. A popping sound registered belatedly. He hadn’t accounted for falling out of the sky.

It was fast, too fast to do much more than direct the balloons as best he could with the balance shot and the wind still blowing every which way. He had enough control not to fly into a building though and when it finally crashed, it was in someone’s tiny back yard, probably wrecking the top of the fence where he’d barreled into it. The balloons did their job to cushion enough that it wasn’t a fatal crash, but Kaito’s shoulder ached from where he’d rammed the fence, balloons there mostly deflated even before they hit. Ow.

He pulled free of the mess, squinting down at it. The balloons were all deflating now, too torn up. There was wood tangled in fabric and on one panel a round hole—gunshot. And dark spots of...blood? Kaito looked at his arm. There was a gash through the suit fabric on his shoulder, pain radiating from it. There was dampness on Kaito’s fingertips too. Ah. More ow than he first thought. Of course, that was when the sky gave an ominous rumble and it began to pour. Kaito grabbed his balloon remnants and staggered out of the yard and down the street as fast as he could manage. At least the rain meant no one was outside or if anyone was, their heads were down trying to stay dry and reach their destination as fast as possible.

Kaito ditched the balloon remains as soon as he could find a suitable place to do so before dodging back toward areas he knew and the stores of clothes he had squirrelled away. Two changes later, he made his way toward home only to pause. They shot at him again. They had shot Jii, so there was a very good chance that they had his home under watch just because Kaito was known to interact with Jii—Toichi’s past aside. He shouldn’t go back there. That left Kaito’s mostly empty new apartment or heading to Kudo’s and, well, while he was ninety-nine percent sure he had lost any possible tail he had, it was better to be safe and not lead someone to people he cared about or further paint a target on them. Kaito headed to the apartment, aching, cold to the bone, and dripping wet.

He had cheap, rough towels bought cheap because he hadn’t wanted anything from his childhood home here; it was like a fresh start. There was a bare minimum of things. Some blankets, a chair, box to use as a table, some bandages and ointment, shelf-stable food, a change of clothes. Kaito dripped water all over the genkan and into the bathroom before he stripped off the soaked clothing and what remained of his Kid gear that hadn’t been stuffed in his random hidey-holes on the way back.

His shoulder had stopped bleeding, the skin around the edges of the wound an angry pink, the blood tacky and diluted with rain failing to quite clot properly. There was a bruise already starting to color around it and along his arm and side. This would be another scar to add to the dozens he already had. Kaito grimaced at the mess and cleaned it up. It didn’t need stitches. Butterfly bandages and gauze would do their work well enough.

After, he cleaned the rest of himself and sat in the bath, staring at the ceiling for a long time until the ache and chill went away. Another day, another brush with death. If they’d shot a bit lower or hit a few more balloons... If they’d shot _him_ while he was untying the balloons. Nakamori bursting onto the rooftop. If Kudo had been there... Kaito shut his eyes. None of those what-if scenarios had happened. There was only what was, and what was real was that Kaito crashed and lived and walked away from it.

The night’s prize was a glimmer on wet tiles. He wasn’t going to return it to Kudo. He’d put too much attention on Kudo lately and tonight was a reminder not to do that. He couldn’t show favorites in the field or they’d use that against him. They’d try to use it to break him. Like why they’d killed Jii. Kudo had to still attend sometimes because not attending at all would be as equally strange behavior as Kaito singling Kudo out. Maybe he could convince Kudo about the need for caution...? Explain about the snipers?

Would that help things or make them worse? Protect Kudo or endanger him further?

Kaito wasn’t going to be able to hide a shoulder wound like this from Kudo or Ran if things continued in the light that they had been. He sighed. It would be easy to fall asleep in the bath. But easy to drown too, and that would defeat the whole point of fighting to stay alive now wouldn’t it?

He got out of the bath. More water everywhere, though at least this was warm. The cheap towels were scratchy against his skin, but they did their job. Kaito left the mess of clothing, bandages, and wet towels to be cleaned at a future time and collapsed into a blanket nest.

 _One day at a time, Kuroba, one day at a time._ Tonight he’d lived, tomorrow he could figure out the next day of his life.

***

There were definitely eyes watching him again. Kaito had felt them at times over the years, always when the shadows he baited turned their suspicions his way again. They’d been there since Jii’s death probably, but he hadn’t been in the right mindset to notice them at the time. Now as he recovered from his latest heist, he noticed that they were watching closer than he could remember them ever doing. They were following Aoko and Kaito had noticed them paying attention to the Kudo household as well, but much less so than Aoko. They were at the museum, following Kaito and his coworkers and someone lingering near Jii’s bar. So far Kaito’s new apartment wasn’t under watch but his family home was.

He wasn’t sure what to do about it. It wasn’t like he could just take out his watchers; that would only confirm their suspicions.

It said a lot about his life at this point when he opened his apartment door one morning and found Koizumi Akako on his doorstep. He hadn’t seen Koizumi Akako since he graduated over half a decade ago.

“Kuroba,” Koizumi said, the same inscrutable smile as always on her face. He wasn’t sure what he would have thought Koizumi at twenty-five would look like, but however the years had treated her, she looked good. Her dark red hair was still long, but it was cut more stylishly. She was dressed in something that looked like a designer exclusive dress and had on jewelry that had to cost almost half a year of Kaito’s rent apiece. Added to her flawless makeup and dark red lipstick, Akako looked every bit the sensuous, elite woman she’d emulated in high school. Kaito was surprised he hadn’t seen her face on a billboard or something. She’d certainly cultivated the image for it.

“Koizumi,” Kaito returned. She looked him up and down the way he had done to her, each taking their measure of the other.

“Rumor has it that you could use a bit of help,” Koizumi said. Her perfect bow lips quirked up at the corners, smug as ever. “As I could use something from you, I thought we might reach an understanding.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re in a sticky situation, Kuroba,” Koizumi said, brushing past him to enter the apartment. “Do keep up.”

Kaito rolled his eyes. Rude much? “Nice to see you too, Akako-hime. I see life is treating you well.”

“And I see life has gone to hell for you,” Koizumi said looking around the sparse furnishings of his tiny apartment. Her eyes lingered on a drawing Takumi did a few days ago; Kaito with scrawled doves seeming to burst from his shirt on all sides like an explosion in the form of birds. It had been too cute to resist taping it up on a wall. Now it felt like it should be saved from Koizumi’s eyes, like they’d taint the happy memory behind it.  “Tell me, is Nakamori-chan still swinging mops at your head these days or has the divorce upgraded that to something a bit more lethal?”

“Ouch,” Kaito said. He didn’t bother asking how she knew about the divorce. “If you’re here to talk about my poor life choices, you can just turn around and leave right now.”

“Nonsense.” Koizumi titled her head in a way that made her hair fall across her face in what was no doubt an enchanting effect to most people. “I was merely pointing out that you’ve reached the point where you not only need me, you might actively consider taking me up on my offer.”

“And what exactly are you offering?” Kaito asked, watching as she made herself comfortable on his couch. So much for going to get groceries.

“An exchange,” Koizumi said. “You know I have...ways of getting information that others can’t.”

“Yeah.” He’d seen it time and again in high school, Koizumi knowing far more than she should have. He’d also seen her demon butler and had spells placed on him and people around him. He wasn’t a skeptic when it came to her ‘ways.’ “What about them?”

“I can use them to watch your back,” Koizumi said, to the point, “since you don’t have anyone doing that for you anymore.”

That stung, Jii’s death still a raw wound. What little of his emotions he allowed on his face went blank, locked up tight. “Of course you can,” Kaito said. He crossed his arms, leaning back against the stretch of blank wall near the entryway. Distant, because distance was better with Koizumi. Too close and she could pull you in or use spells to manipulate you. They never worked quite right on him, but there was no such thing as being too safe. “And what would you get out of it?”

“That depends on what you’re willing to give.”

She sat there, comfortable as could be on the worn couch he’d bought second-hand as if it were her own. Entirely confident that Kaito had something to bargain with. Entirely certain that he would bargain at all. The same dislike and wariness he’d felt throughout most of high school rose in him. Where did she have the right to swan into his home and start making demands?

“Look at it this way,” she said, legs crossing at the knee and leaning her head against one hand. “You had a close call last heist. That sniper would have killed you if he shot a few seconds sooner.” Her eyes trapped him in place like a cobra’s stare. “You were followed twice this week and a month and a half ago you lost your assistant. Your leads have all fallen through lately in catching these men. The last person you managed to turn over to the police was dead within an hour. Your infamous luck is slowly running out. But I could spot your watchers, see when each worse threat arises, and even give your luck a boost to keep it going a bit longer.”

Kaito hesitated. There had to be a catch, there was always a catch, like making a deal with a devil. But Koizumi knew things that she shouldn’t. Things she could only know through magic. There was one thing she hadn’t offered in that little sales pitch, one thing that he would give her pretty much anything for. Especially lately when his blood ran cold thinking about those unfeeling eyes on Takumi.

“You know magic,” Kaito said. A statement of fact, acknowledged out loud for the first time. He wet his lips. “What would it take to erase the connection between Kaitou Kid and all things Kuroba?”

Koizumi’s eyes narrowed. She tapped a manicured nail against one burgundy lip. “All things Kuroba? I can’t go that far. My magic has never worked quite right on you personally. As for your family... That could be doable. I could obscure you and erase their connection entirely. Nakamori-chan’s connection with Kid would remain, but her connection to Kuroba Kaito would be obscured from anyone looking for you with ill intent. Same with your mother and your son.”

“And other people?” People like Nakamori-keibu and the Kudos...

“To a lesser degree, yes. The way I’m thinking would work best on blood relations.”

“And what would something like that cost me.”

Koizumi smiled, cold. “A child.”

Kaito’s emotions locked down, face even blanker. “What.”

The witch on his sofa had the gall to look annoyed. “No, you idiot. I don’t mean sacrificing your or some other random child. I mean that my price for you is a child of your bloodline. With me.” Koizumi looked him over once; Kaito had rarely felt so much like something about to be eaten. “My family has always gained power through seeking out others just as strong. What better way to strengthen my bloodline than with yours since you’re resistant to my magic?”

A child. Koizumi wanted to have his child. What the fuck. All those years in high school of her trying to force him to bend to her magic and will and fall over himself at her feet and here she was asking for a baby. He tried not to react outwardly. “Why now?”

“You’re at the point where you’re considering it,” Koizumi said, like it explained everything, and maybe it did. If Kaito hadn’t lost Jii, if he was still married, if the world wasn’t closing in on all sides, if he didn’t desperately want the refuge offered by the Kudos... Well, he would never have listened this long. “Besides, I’m at the point in my life where my window of prime child bearing years are passing quickly. It’s the right time for a child.” She didn’t say it, but Kaito could see an edge of vulnerability for a moment, an unspoken _and I want a child_ that Akako was too proud to ever say.

Kaito wet his lips again. He felt a little sick. He was actively considering this. Him. Who had always wanted nothing to do with Koizumi or her intentions toward him. Would it be worth it though? At least, he thought, she wasn’t unattractive, just not attractive to him in her personality.

Koizumi rolled her eyes. “Kuroba, I need your sperm, not your dick.”

He flinched. “Wow, you’ve gotten blunt,” he muttered.

Koizumi lifted a perfectly tweezed eyebrow. “I’m at the height of my power with half the world ready to throw itself at my feet; I don’t have to be proper or polite anymore.” She smirked suddenly. “Of course if you’d rather seal the deal the old fashioned way...”

“No!” Kaito said. “No thank you!”

Koizumi laughed and finally that haughty, elite persona melted away a bit. “You’re lucky I find your horror funny instead of insulting.”

“Ugh.” No, he really did not want to sleep with Koizumi Akako, deal or no deal.

“How about this,” she said. “You let me have your child and I will erase your family from your shadows’ notice, obscure your identity as much as I’m able, and give your luck a boost. I’ll throw in future warnings as I get them and any tidbits I can get on your threats’ identities for free.”

Kaito didn’t point out that some of those ‘free’ additions had been implied by her sales pitch. Instead he gave a counter demand. “I get to know about the child. What they’re like and their life.” The idea of having a child and not ever knowing about their life or their name or face... Not having anything to do with them even in an impersonal way... He couldn’t do that. Having Takumi had shown him just how much having a child meant to him.

Koizumi didn’t even look surprised by this demand. “Fine. I promise to give regular updates. I’ll even let you meet them at some point.”

Kaito took a breath. He could feel the shifting of the world, tipping to a new balance at that moment. “Okay. Okay, I’ll accept.”

Koizumi smiled. “Wonderful.” She got to her feet and took Kaito’s hand in hers to shake it, Western-style sealing of the deal. “I’ll be in touch about the details.”

“Okay.” Kaito had the sinking feeling that he’d jumped into something he couldn’t handle. He’d have to handle it anyway.

Koizumi smiled, meeting his eyes for a long moment. And then she was leaving just as confidently as she’d come. Kaito hadn’t really had a choice in this deal, had he?

***

Every time Kaito decided he was going to put a bit of distance—or at least wait a bit for safety’s sake—between him and the Kudos, he found his resolve crumbling. The bed at the apartment felt too empty. He needed to hear Ran singing a lullaby. He needed to see Kudo alive and breathing after a nightmare of him getting shot at a heist. Visiting the Kudo house meant triple disguises and doubling around and doing everything he could think of to keep the watchers from realizing he was there, just like he did every time he went back to his new apartment, and it was tiring and ate up time he could be using to sleep or plan, but he found himself doing it anyway, crawling in the bedroom window or watching Kudo in his study for a while until he worked up the nerve to join him.

So far Kaito hadn’t been turned away. They’d scoot over and give him room in the bed or Kudo would set his paperwork aside to give Kaito attention or Ran would ask questions about his day in careful generalities that let him get away without giving specifics. He’d joined them for dinner once, and had breakfast half a dozen times even though it made it hard to make it to work on time.

There hadn’t been a repeat of that first night yet, nothing inherently sexual at all, but there had been plenty of intimacy and it filled some void in him he’d long stopped noticing was there. It was nice to sleep tangled up with someone. It was nice to exchange a kiss before bed or in the morning or just because they felt like it. It was nice to be asked how his day went and hear how someone else was doing and even nice to coax a picky toddler into eating again.

***

There was a note left in the apartment mailbox. Kaito took one glance at the handwriting and knew it was Koizumi. There was no stamp, which made him deeply uncomfortable. Either Akako or her inhuman servant had left this and neither thought was a pleasant one. It asked for a sample of Takumi’s hair and...the other necessary sample for their bargain to be left in his mailbox at a certain date for Koizumi to uphold the bargain in full.

Kaito half expected the note to catch fire or do something unnerving or magical, like try to influence him, but it remained nothing more than paper. He...still wasn’t very comfortable about this. Even less comfortable in giving Koizumi something of his son’s but. But. So far she’d helped him. And Koizumi wasn’t the type to break a deal once she made it. And Kaito wouldn’t be the one to break it on his end.

Someday he’d have to look his son in the face and explain that he had a sister somewhere. How the heck was he going to explain that? And if Aoko ever found out... He shuddered. He’d be in trouble. It didn’t matter that they were divorced for almost three years now, Aoko would still give him hell for having a kid with Koizumi. Especially with Koizumi.  So she could never know.

Kaito vanished the note up his sleeve and made plans. Koizumi would get her samples and that would be that.

More than Kaito’s comfort, Takumi’s safety came first.

***

It wasn’t an abrupt change. There were people watching him and Aoko and everyone in his life and then... there were less. They dropped off, like something else had distracted them until Kaito was sure it was the same level of observation as it used to be; someone keeping an eye on the task force, and an ear to the ground for any hint of a gem that might be Pandora. No one hanging around Kaito’s home. No one around Jii’s place either, and that was what truly cemented Koizumi’s influence because they _knew_ Jii was connected to Kid. And yet the surveillance was gone. A scan for wire taps came up empty and there wasn’t even a hint of Kaito’s sixth sense nagging him when he visited the bar to check up on it.

It left a tumult of emotions in him, regret and relief and worry and small joys for freedom he still had all a tangled snarl that Kaito tried to keep firmly in the back of his mind or else it might drive him crazy.

The first day he realized that the watchers weren’t on him at all anymore, he went to Kudo’s home, needing something but not quite sure what. Reassurance? A friendly face?

Kudo found him in the study, staring blankly at book titles from Kudo’s personal collection.

“Kid,” Kudo said, coming to stand next to him. He looked at the books with Kaito for a moment, seeing them more clearly than Kaito was. “Were you looking for a specific title? You can borrow them if you want.”

The books were all detective novels and true crime stories, nothing that Kaito was interested in. Kaito pulled back from his daze, focusing on Kudo instead.

Kudo frowned and reached out, hesitating before touching Kaito like he thought Kaito would flinch away. Like Kaito still had ahold of a flight instinct with him. “Okay, you don’t have a fever,” he said. “What’s wrong?”

Kaito almost asked him if the impossible ever happened to him, but that would have been a really stupid question to ask someone who had their age reversed at one point in their life. Instead, Kaito reached out to touch Kudo’s face. How had Kudo handled it back then, finding himself in Conan’s form? Living a lie more complete than Kaito’s lie had been. They’d both lived a lie to the one they loved most, but Kudo had told Ran the truth and she’d accepted it and Aoko had not.

“Kid?” Kudo asked, one hand reaching up to cover Kaito’s hand with his own. Holding it there.

“Sometimes,” Kaito said after what could have been moments or minutes, “I wonder if I’ve made the right choices. Or if there is a right choice. Or if every choice has a flipside and you just weigh the positives against the negatives and hope that the outcome is in the green.”

Something a lot like alarm flashed across Kudo’s face and then Kaito found Kudo’s hands bracketing his face and Kudo staring into his eyes from less than a hand-span away. “Did something happen? Or. Are you regretting... this... between us?”

Kaito blinked, realizing without context his words could be taken a number of directions. And that he probably wasn’t being fair to Kudo if Kudo honestly thought Kaito might still back away from the tangle of a relationship they were building between the three of them. “No. No, I don’t regret this.” He let his forehead bump against Kudo’s, feeling the other man’s muscles relax and the soft gust of breath against his cheek that went with it. “I meant something different. I just.” Kaito gave an aborted, helpless laugh. “A lot has happened lately. And I made more choices that I’m not sure about emotionally. But I’m not regretting choosing you or Ran-san.”

“Okay,” Kudo said. “Okay. Do you... is it something you can talk about?”

Could he explain Akako and her magic to scientifically-minded Kudo?

“It’s not something illegal is it?” Kudo asked belatedly, a frown edging across his face.

“It’s not illegal.” He was fairly certain there weren’t any laws on the books about making deals with witches.

“Okay. Good. I’m not sure I could be a listening ear if it was something illegal.”

“What’s one more thing to my miles of misdemeanors and felonies?” Kaito joked.

Kudo didn’t look amused. “I made peace with you being a thief but that doesn’t mean I could look the other way about other crimes.”

“Relax Kudo. I guarantee you will never have to worry about me murdering anyone.”

“You’d better not,” Kudo said. “...Do you need to talk?”

“I appreciate the offer, but there is so much to unpack I honestly wouldn’t know where to start.”

Kudo brushed a thumb along Kaito’s cheek. “With what tipped the scale of your panic?”

“I ran into a woman from high school,” Kaito blurted before he could stop himself. “And so much has changed since then. She was someone who scared the hell out of me then and still does now. Actually that’s misleading, she showed up uninvited and forced a deal and now I’m just. A bit shocked that it’s not biting me in the ass.”

And the concern was back. “You’re...sure that it’s not illegal?”

“I... I’m pretty sure there’s not laws for the sort of bargain we made, but it’s kind of morally questionable to me on a personal level?”

Kudo looked like he really wanted to ask what the bargain had been, but he visibly restrained his curiosity. He took a breath and let it out slowly. “Okay.” Kaito couldn’t look away from him, the world having shrunk down to the two of them and the air between them. “Was it likely to blow up on you? This deal?”

“I wasn’t sure if she could hold up her end. But she did.”

“Do you trust her?”

“Hell no, but I can trust her to probably not want me dead, or at least to uphold a bargain because she’s serious about that sort of thing. I followed through on my end so she had to follow through on her end. And her end heavily implied efforts to keep me alive.”

Kudo closed his eyes. “I have so many questions. And I’m not going to ask them. But I do have to ask if this is something that’s going to negatively affect my family.”

“No.” Kaito laughed a bit helplessly. If anything it was the opposite.

“Okay,” Kudo repeated. “Then tell me when you feel like you can share the details or... not at all if you can’t I guess.”

“Right.” Kaito leaned into Kudo’s embrace. Damn but he didn’t want to move. “How is any of this real?” he mumbled. How did he go from the worst point of his life to having someone holding him like this and trying to make him feel calm and safe?

“It must be your luck,” Kudo said lightly.

If letting Koizumi boost his luck was part of what brought this to him, well... Maybe the price he paid was worth it. Kaito let his eyes slide shut and stayed in Kudo’s arms for much much longer than he probably should have. He wasn’t supposed to be giving up this much of his heart so quickly.

***

It reached the point where Kaito realized that he was spending more time sleeping over at the Kudo home or his new apartment than at his mother’s home. Kaito wasn’t sure what to feel about that. He wasn’t sure how to feel about how he’d started thinking of his childhood home as his mother’s home again either. Life took unusual turns, and now he found himself at something of a crossroads. Because with how often he was spending time with the Kudos—including their daughter—this wasn’t just something casual. It never had been honestly, but there was just sleeping with people and then there was helping care for their daughter while Ran had to work late and Kudo was dealing with a bad migraine.

The way Kaito saw it, he could back off and try to slowly phase back to the sometimes-friend-sometimes-rival complicated mess that he and Kudo had before. Or he could commit. Fully. With all that entailed. It wasn’t reasonable to expect them to accept only the bits and pieces of masks he gave them and look no further, not if this was going to last. And Kaito did want it to last.

It was nice to wake up next to someone. It was nice to be held again and to let bits of vulnerability show to the world. It was nice to sit down to breakfast and even nice to calm down a frustrated child because it was all little normal day to day things that he missed. And Kaito could have all of that again, Ran and Kudo giving every indication that he was welcome into the mundanity of their lives along with all the other things life brought.

Kaito supposed it wasn’t really much of a choice once he started thinking about it. His life was all secrets and at the end of the day he’d like to have one less among the number laying heavy over him.

Akako was just the final turning point in the decision that had been building in him ever since he agreed to stay for breakfast that first morning. In the long run, ‘Kid’ wasn’t safe to be close to. With ‘Kid’ and ‘Kaito’ separate in the eyes of the universe though... There was nothing wrong with ‘Kaito’ becoming part of Kudo’s family.

He came to the bedroom window like usual, ghosting up the side of the home using handholds that had become as familiar as his own home’s front door. Kudo was in the study, but Ran was in the room, reading by the light of a bedside lamp. He knocked lightly on the window so he didn’t startle her before letting himself in.

Ran set aside her book, a smile already on her face in greeting.

“Good evening, Ran-hime,” Kaito said with an exaggerated and flirtatious bow. “Your husband decided not to sleep tonight?”

“He has paperwork to finish filling out for tomorrow,” Ran said. “He’ll be up in a minute.”

“Provided he’s not distracted.”

Ran laughed. Kaito had seen Kudo forget to take breaks and skip sleep entirely when he was caught up in a case. Ran probably had a list of the times he’d gotten distracted a mile long. “If he’s not up in fifteen minutes, I told him I’d drag him up here, so he better not get distracted. Sometimes I wonder how he got through being a teenager on his own.”

“Luck and a lovely kind soul checking on to make sure he wasn’t starving?” Kaito suggested, thinking of his own teenage experiences.

“Something like that.” Ran held out a hand and Kaito let her pull him down to sit on the edge of the bed. She leaned up for a kiss and he gave it willingly, one more thing that pulled him to commit to this. “Are you staying the night?” Ran asked. Sometimes she asked and sometimes she offered and she’d never made him feel like he had to answer one way or another.

“I’d like to,” Kaito said. He gripped her hand lightly, a little, no, a lot nervous though his poker face covered it well enough. “When Kudo gets here, there’s something I’d like to talk about though.”

“You know you can call him by his first name, right?” Ran said, slotting their fingers together. “You use my first name.”

“I can’t call you both Kudo, that would be confusing,” Kaito said. And somehow he’d always thought of her more by her first name—she vaguely resembled Aoko and Kaito had thought of Aoko by her first name so long that his subconscious had latched onto Ran’s first name. But Kudo was something of a rival, and using his first name felt too intimate. Although...maybe Kaito should start making an effort. Another tangle of nerves roiled in his gut.

“You should call him Shinichi,” Ran said with a grin. “I’m betting it’ll get a blush from him.”

“Well if it will have _that_ effect,” Kaito said, fluttering his eyelashes at her.

Ran giggled and was still giggling when the door swung open and Kudo wandered in, his reading glasses still perched on top of his head like he’d pushed them back and forgotten about them. “Oh, Kid. Hi, you’re staying the night?”

“Yup.” Kaito held out his free hand and Kudo took it. He was unguarded and relaxed and it occurred to Kaito that Kudo really did trust him. It should have been obvious considering how he let Kaito sleep in the same bed and hold his child, but it was the act of taking Kaito’s hand automatically that cemented it. “And it’s Kaito, actually.”

“What?” Kudo blinked away some of the exhaustion, focusing on Kaito fully. Ran’s hand tightened around Kaito’s.

Kaito smiled and...let go. They trusted him and he could trust them back. “My name. Please, call me Kaito.”

“You’re giving us your name,” Kudo said slowly. “Why?”

“Because,” Kaito said slowly, “I want you to know that I’m serious. And I don’t want another relationship built off secrets.” He smiled wryly, a bitter twist in his stomach. “I’ve tried that. Doesn’t work well as you can imagine.”

“But.”

“Kudo. Shinichi.” Kaito enjoyed the full body twitch and blush using Kudo’s first name brought, but it was to add weight to his words at the moment. “I need to know if you’re willing to hear who I am.”

Ran and Kudo gave him identical wide-eyed looks. They hadn’t, Kaito realized, expected him to ever bring the topic up. They expected to just have him in moments and snippets, time carved out of Kid’s persona and doled out on Kaito’s terms. Maybe they never would have brought it up. It made Kaito’s heart hurt in a complicated way he didn’t have words for at the moment.

“I suppose,” Kaito said when they didn’t have a response, “that besides not building something off secrets, I don’t want to _be_ a secret either. Call me selfish, but I don’t think I could be satisfied with stolen moments forever. I intend to commit. To both of you.” He looked from Kudo to Ran.

“You don’t have to—” Ran started.

“I really do,” Kaito cut her off firmly. “Now I know you’re both ignoring some legalities already. Is knowing who I am too much?”

“No,” Kudo said finally. He touched Kaito’s cheek with something between wonder and determination in his eyes. “I think it’s pretty clear that we’re also committed. We aren’t going to turn you in.”

“Heists aside?” Kaito asked, letting his voice slide to lightheartedness again.

“I don’t think I would be able to even there,” Kudo admitted. “I’m not sure I really wanted to catch you in the first place.”

“Well I guess you caught me in a different way,” Kaito said. He pressed his face into the touch and heard Kudo’s breath hitch when he realized there wasn’t a prosthesis this time. Kudo’s fingers traced the rest of his face and didn’t find anything. “It’s just makeup,” Kaito said. “No prosthetics.” Just enough contouring to make his face shape look a bit different and all easily washed off.

Kaito squeezed his lovers’ hands and let go to reach into his pocket for a makeup wipe. In a matter of seconds, it was washed away and a quick finger comb of his hair had it free of its combed style. He sat there before them as Kuroba Kaito, masks down, face bare. When he smiled, he let his nerves show through.

“So. Call me Kaito.”

“I. You...” Kudo looked at Ran like she had an explanation for why Kaito would choose now to give them his name. “Can he do that?”

“Since I just did,” Kaito said, worry tangling with amusement, “yes, yes I can.”

“You look a lot like Shinichi,” Ran said, taking this much better than her husband. “Although that isn’t too surprising since you used to pull off his face without a mask.”

“Our face shapes are a bit different these days,” Kaito said, “but it was always our hair that was the biggest difference.”

“Your hair looks like you didn’t comb it,” Kudo said.

“My hair shares my free spirit.” This was getting off topic. “Hi. I’m Kuroba Kaito, currently Kaitou Kid the second. I daylight as a museum conservator. I have a son in first grade and my ex-wife is on the Kid task force. Nice to formally meet you.”

Kudo’s eyes went sharp, his terrifying brain drawing connections and probably filling in everything that Kaito ever gave away over the years to fit with this new information. “Kuroba Toichi was the first Kid, correct?”

“Yes. My father.”

“He taught my mother disguise skills.”

“I know. I have a vague memory of meeting her. She still talks to my mom sometimes.” Kaito gave them a wry smile. “Small world, no?”

Kudo muttered something to himself, lost in piecing things together. Ran patted Kaito’s hand, holding it again. It went a long ways toward reassuring him that he hadn’t messed everything up. “You have a son?” Ran asked.

“Yeah.” Kaito smiled. “Takumi. He’s six, almost seven. He’s into Pokémon and coral reefs at the moment and I’m probably going to get a phone call in the next week about the latest stunt his friend roped him into.” Shiemi was the chaos maker between the two of them. “His mother has custody.” It was an explanation in and of itself.

“Do you see him often?” Ran asked, serious, and Kaito remembered that her parents were separated. Never divorced for some reason, but she’d been raised mostly by her father if he remembered correctly. If anyone could understand the sort of stress having parents at odds could put on a child, it would be her.

“I have him on weekends,” Kaito said. “He’s a good kid.” There were a thousand things he could add to that, like how Takumi was learning magic tricks or how he loved to run or how Kaito felt like he was missing so much of his life and that seven years had passed so much faster than he’d expected. It all caught in his throat, and rather than let Kid’s mask back on he let himself struggle with Kaito’s emotions. “He’s great,” he choked out.

The way Ran looked at him with something on the edge of empathy, it made him want to hide, too exposed, raw and cracked open. He’d chosen this though. He chose it so he steadied his breathing and stayed.

“That explains how you interact with Hanae,” Kudo cut in, back in the present. “You’re good with children.”

“I like children,” Kaito said. In another life, he’d have wanted a second child. So Takumi wouldn’t be alone and because there was something amazing about seeing a tiny human being grow and reveal who they were to the world.

“Kaito,” Kudo said, testing the name. Kaito couldn’t look away. Kudo reached out again for his face, tracing its shape and Kaito let his eyes flutter shut, trusting. “Kaito,” Kudo said again. He pressed a kiss to Kaito’s forehead and then there was Ran warm against Kaito’s side as she hugged him. Kaito felt like he might cry because they both touched him like he was fragile and valuable and that would probably always get to him when they did that. “Thank you,” Kudo said, the bed dipping as he sat on Kaito’s other side and joined the hug. “For trusting us.”

Kaito relaxed into their hold. He’d trusted them with his vulnerability and in the end going that little bit further wasn’t as big of a leap as he’d expected. “I want you to meet my son,” Kaito said, muffled into Kudo’s shoulder. “I want...I want this to be more than just seeing you at night.”

“Good since we’d like the same,” Ran said. “We didn’t want to push though.”

“You run when you get uncomfortable,” Kudo added.

Kaito snorted. He did run; it was instinctual at this point because if you felt threatened you got the hell out of the situation. “I think I’m going to keep ‘Kid’ at a distance. You’re going to have to see what you think of ‘Kaito.’”

“Kaito can’t be that much different,” Kudo said. “Or were you not Kaito all those times you broke your persona around me?”

That got a laugh. “No, that was me. Especially when I was younger. It’s...a lot more blurred these days.” Wear a mask too long and you became it. Sometimes he didn’t know where Kid ended and Kaito began and the last few months with the Kudos had blurred that even more. He was Kaito right now though and Kaito was exhausted and relieved and happier than he’d felt in a while. “I’m not really at my best lately.”

“You’ll get better,” Kudo said with conviction.

“I’ve been thinking about taking a few months off from being Kid.” It was long overdue and he’d meant to before Jii died. Kaito was a mess and throwing himself into being Kid hadn’t actually helped anything. He needed to get his life together again. And maybe taking the time to connect to the Kudos as himself and spending more time with Takumi would be the key to doing that.

“You’re welcome here as Kid or Kaito,” Ran said. “Anytime.”

They held him until they started falling asleep sitting there and then they broke apart only long enough to get ready for bed before returning to huddle together under the covers. It was going to work out, Kaito thought. He’d put the effort in to make it work and to get back to where he was before Jii died and try to chase happiness with some of the strength he’d put into chasing Pandora all these years.

***

Kaito took a deep breath. There was almost a meter between him and Aoko where they stood off to the side of the playground. Takumi scrambled up the playground rock wall as easy as breathing as he chased after one of the other children. The gap between Kaito and Aoko could have been a kilometer for how closed off Aoko was. Today was a compromise. Today was moving forward.

“Aoko,” he said, forcing his voice to work like it didn’t feel like he had his heart in his throat.

She tilted her head in his direction, eyes intent on their son.

Kaito wet his lips, attention split between the two. “I need to tell you something. I’m seeing someone.”

Aoko looked away from the playground. “You’re what?”

“Seeing someone.” He swallowed. “Multiple someones actually. A married couple,” he said before she could finish frowning or make an accusation. “Openly. It’s. They invited me to be with them. It’s all open.”

“Is it.” Something between anger and hurt flashed across Aoko’s face, buried under the cold distance she’d kept up the whole day. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because it’s serious,” Kaito said. “And I want to introduce Takumi to them.”

Takumi went down the slide, a bit too fast, stumbling at the bottom. Now he was the one being chased, but it was smiles all around out there, a game everyone was enjoying. Aoko looked away from Kaito, controlled, not letting anything slip.

“You’d need my permission,” she said.

“Which is why I’m telling you. They’re nice. They have a daughter and are good parents and. They’d like Takumi. Takumi would probably like them too. I want to share my life, not keep it in boxes.”

“Do they know?” Aoko asked. “Everything, do they know?”

Her hand balled into a fist at her side. Kaito looked into the middle distance, watching her from the corner of his eye, trying to stay as outwardly removed as possible because one wrong word or action could shatter the whole moment. “Yes, they know.”

“And it’s not a problem?” Sharp, too sharp, her composure cracking.

“I was Kid to them first,” Kaito said, almost too quiet to be heard.

She turned to him again, staring like she could see into his soul. He could see too much in her, all the hurt and anger and loss and betrayal churning just under the surface, held together only by Aoko’s sheer stubborn will. “Who is it, Kaito?” He couldn’t meet her eyes. “Tell me.”

“...The Kudos.”

Was it silly for her to look heartbroken all over again, more than three years after their divorce? Was it silly for Kaito to feel like he’d been kicked in the chest or to have guilt swirl through him? Probably, but Kaito had always been an idiot for Aoko and she was the same toward him even if they weren’t together anymore.

“So they can forgive that?” Aoko said, bitterness filling her voice. “I guess it’s different when they knew your mask first.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Oh shut up, Kaito. You’re not sorry for the things you should be, and the things you are sorry for aren’t really my damn business anymore are they?” She huffed. “I guess we really should be moving on. It’s been years.”

There wasn’t anything to say to make it right. No magic words or pretty gesture to melt the ice between them. She was right. Kaito felt guilt about the wrong things, about hurting her by seeing someone when they weren’t even together anymore but not about the thing that hurt her most.

“You can trust them?” she asked when he was silent too long. “With everything.”

“I think so. It’s...it’s not like with you. They have a better idea what they’re getting into... It’s ‘Kaito’ that they’re learning to know.”

“Okay. I’m not happy about it, but okay. Tell Kudo he’s not allowed at heists until I say so though. I can’t trust he’s going to mess us up on purpose.”

“He wouldn’t.”

“Sorry but I don’t trust you on that.”

Fair enough.

The kids had given up their game of tag in favor of playing some sort of game in the upper part of the playground equipment. Probably something dramatic and medieval with the castle-like shape of the structure.

“I think I can be happy,” Kaito burst out. “With them. In general.”

“Good for you.”

“If you can, you should try to be happy too.”

Aoko glared at him, finally looking more like herself and part of him relaxed even though he probably should be preparing to duck. “I’ll do whatever the hell I want. I don’t need or want you meddling. And I don’t need your goddamn blessing to pursue something if and when I ever want to.”

“I wasn’t saying that you—”

“And you don’t need mine, Bakaito. So shut up.” The space between them was a bit less than a meter now. It felt like it might be the actual distance between them in that moment instead of being emotionally worlds apart. “You can take Takumi to meet them sometime, but only if you clear it with me first and you let him decide if he ever wants to go back.”

“I can do that.”

“Good.”

A few minutes later, Takumi ran up to them, full of smiles and babbling about the new friend he made and how there had been dragons storming the castle but the knights beat them back. That, Kaito thought, had gone about a hundred times better than he had ever expected it to.

 

***

“I have someone I want you to meet,” Kaito had said when he picked up Takumi from Aoko’s home for the weekend. Now, standing in Beika with the Kudo manor’s gates in front of him, there were a thousand worries in his head. What if Takumi hated them? What if the Kudos didn’t like Takumi—not that Kaito thought anyone could hate his son, just. Possibilities. What if Hanae didn’t get along with Takumi or vice versa? What if Takumi got close to the Kudos and everything fell through and then Kaito broke his son’s heart all over again with another break up.

They were going out today. On a picnic. Something fun and not at a home because it would be neutral ground and that felt important for a first impression.

Takumi looked up at Kaito and tugged on his hand. “Are you gonna go in or look at the gate all day?”

Kaito put on a smile. “Sorry, I was just thinking about some things. You know how I said these people were important to me?”

“Yeah?”

“They’re important like your Kaa-san used to be important to me. I like them very much.”

Takumi frowned. “They’re not going to be more parents are they?”

Kaito had no idea how any of this was going to go. Or how long it would last. So no, he wasn’t going to optimistically picture Kudo and Ran helping parent Takumi next to their daughter years down the road. He squeezed Takumi’s hand gently. “Think of them like an aunt and uncle.”

“Like Keiko-basan?”

“Yeah, like Keiko.”

Takumi didn’t look convinced, but he didn’t protest as Kaito opened the gate and led them up to the front door.

Shinichi was the one who answered Kaito’s knock, Hanae in his arms and a slightly harried expression on his face as she kept trying to squirm free.

“Kaito,” he said, smiling. “You’re almost ten minutes later than you said you’d be.”

“In day to day life, I’m not always on time,” Kaito said.

“We almost missed the train,” Takumi revealed. “And he kept stopping to check his bag.”

Kaito blushed, but thankfully Takumi didn’t mention standing in front of the gates for over a minute before coming up. “Kudo, this is Takumi. Takumi, this is Kudo Shinichi and his daughter, Hanae.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Takumi said, because somehow Kaito and Aoko had managed to raise him with actual manners. It was a mystery how.

“It’s good to meet you too, Takumi-kun.” Kudo almost dropped his daughter as she gave an extra excited wiggle. “Hanae, can you please hold still?”

“Down!” she said. Kudo set her down and she stared at Takumi. Takumi took a step back. She smiled. “Play?” she asked, holding out one tiny hand.

Takumi gave Kaito and Kudo a wide-eyed, nervous look. “Uhhh.”

“You can play for a few minutes,” Kaito said. “But then we’ll have to go.”

“Um,” Takumi said, but he was already being tugged down the hall after an excited toddler, kicking off his shoes in an attempt to be proper. He could have gotten away from Hanae pretty easily so Kaito wasn’t too worried. If he got overwhelmed he could just come find them.

“Everything okay?” Kudo asked, leaning in to give Kaito a kiss on the cheek now that he didn’t have a squirming toddler in his arms.

“Good,” Kaito said, then more honestly, “a little nervous how Takumi is going to react; he’s not used to sharing me with people.”

“Well, it looks like Hanae will give him a distraction as far as that goes. Come in, Ran’s finishing packing the bentou boxes.”

“Right.” Kaito lifted the bag he was carrying. “I took the liberty of bringing some dessert. I hope that doesn’t clash with Ran-san’s meal. They’re pumpkin sweet breads.”

“You didn’t need to go to the trouble,” Kudo said, polite and it was just the edge of awkward because they were still figuring this out, how to be with each other.

Kaito gave himself a mental smack over the head. “It’s still the tail end of summer, but I am ready for autumn, Kudo, bring on cooler temperatures and the end of summer rain.”

“And all the autumn sweets?” Kudo joked.

Kaito grinned. “Exactly. Not that summer isn’t great—fruit sweets abound, but there’s something comforting about the earthier taste of pumpkin and sweet potato and chestnuts.”

“I’ll take your word for it. I’m not much of a sweets person.”

“The horror. I don’t think we can be friends now.”

Kudo elbowed Kaito in the side, trying not to laugh too hard at him. “But Kaito, that just means you and Ran get most of my share of sweets.”

“Ah, then we can be friends after all.”

“Just friends?” Kudo asked, well within Kaito’s personal space. Hmm. He hadn’t even noticed that happening; he was getting unnervingly comfortable around Kudo.

Kaito gave Kudo a false-bashful look. “Well...”

“Are you two flirting in the front doorway?” Ran said behind them.

Kaito twitched, but Kudo didn’t seem surprised at all. He sent Ran a grin, setting a hand on Kaito’s hip like it belonged there. “Maybe,” he said.

Ran laughed, one hand coming up like she was trying to muffle it. “Come inside already. Where are the children?”

“Hanae-chan kidnapped Takumi,” Kaito said, easing away from Kudo to take his shoes off.

“She’s probably showing him the toy Agasa brought her yesterday,” Kudo said. “Some new invention.”

“...Isn’t he the one who made your death shoes and that stun watch?” Kaito asked.

“Yeah, he’s a family friend and neighbor.”

Kaito had been aware of both these things but. “Is the toy... safe?”

“Would I let my three year old play with it if it wasn’t?” Kudo said. “Occasional explosions next door aside, he is capable of making something child safe. He makes stuff that’s on market at stores.”

“I feel like I should say something about the explosions, but considering my own track record with experiments blowing up in my face, I think it’s better to just let it go.”

“We can go check on them,” Ran said, soothing the part of him that insisted that children out of sight meant dangerous stunts happening. Takumi wasn’t actually that much of a problem most of the time compared to how Kaito had been at his age. It was only when he was put with Shiemi that things went to hell and ‘quiet’ meant ‘trouble’.

“Thank you.” Kaito gave her a theatrical kiss on the cheek which made her laugh again before holding up his bag. “Pumpkin sweet bread with pumpkin and bean paste filling. A taste of fall before it’s quite upon us.”

“Oh, that’s perfect. I didn’t have a dessert planned.” Ran kissed him back, on the lips and Kaito’s stomach flipped pleasantly.

It was like being a teenager again only with less mops and death threats and yelling... Okay it was nothing like how it had been with Aoko and there was nothing wrong with that. “Great. I’ll go check on the kids.”

Kaito found them in the library. They were sitting on the floor with picture books strewn around them and Hanae had her current favorite book—one with a dog going to see its friends written in both English and Japanese—and was happily holding up pictures and pointing out the animals. Kaito could see Takumi mouthing the words on the page, the simple kana easily within his reading ability.

“Having fun, kiddos?” Kaito said, crouching beside them.

Hanae gave him a brilliant smile. “Dog book!” she said, holding it up. “Read it?”

“I don’t think there’s time to read it right now, but we can read a book later if you’d like. How does that sound?”

She frowned and Takumi looked up at Kaito. “Both of us?” he asked.

“If you want a story too, yeah.”

“Then I want to read this.” He held up a Kaiketsu Zorori book, the cartoon fox thief grinning mischievously on the cover.

Aoko, for obvious reasons, didn’t like the series. Kaito, for equally obvious reasons, found them a lot of fun. Plus they had _puns_ , who didn’t like puns?

“Only if you don’t mention it to your mother,” Kaito said, because he’d get an earful if Aoko knew.

Takumi, almost seven and entirely fed up with the drama of adults, rolled his eyes. “I know. And I read them with Shiemi all the time so.”

“Well aren’t you the rebel,” Kaito teased. He set both picture books aside. “Well they will be here when we get back from lunch and we can read them then, okay?” He got two nods and that was great because if Hanae chose to be upset, Kaito still didn’t have enough of a rapport with her to guarantee it wouldn’t become a meltdown. “Alright, now who’s ready to go to the park? We’re going to have a picnic and play on the playground, doesn’t that sound fun?”

“I wanna swing!” Hanae said, jumping to her feet with a little wobble. Takumi steadied her before Kaito could. It was adorable.

“There’s going to be swings, yep. Who do you want to push you? Kaa-san?”

“No,” Hanae said, grinning.

“Hmmm, Tou-san?”

“No!”

“Me?”

“No! Everyone!”

“Ah, I see. Everyone to push you on the swings. I hope not everyone in the world or that would be a lot of people. You might never leave that swing.”

Both Takumi and Hanae giggled.

“C’mon, kids, it’s picnic time.” Kaito stood and immediately Hanae held up her arms to be picked up. Kaito did, holding her in one arm. “Oof, look at you, you’re growing fast. I think you might have grown a little since I last saw you,” he said to her. Takumi caught his free hand. His son was biting his lip and looking a little unsure again, so Kaito of course bent back down and picked him up too. “Ah, and you have _definitely_ grown since I last held you like this,” Kaito said to him. “I think you might grow up to be a giant!”

“Tou-san!” Takumi complained, but he was laughing as he clung to Kaito’s shoulders. Kaito grinned so hard his cheeks hurt. His arms were going to hate him later, but this was totally worth it.

“And away we go!” Kaito said, making horse clopping sounds like they were riding him into battle.

***

It wasn’t that Kaito meant to notice, it was just that it was one of those things that he was low key aware of, had been aware of, especially with Aoko. So when he didn’t notice Ran ever being on her period even when he was practically there every other night anymore, Kaito had to wonder. It wasn’t like there weren’t other explanations—Kudo and Ran never mentioned if birth control was something they used as well as condoms, but considering how Aoko had gotten pregnant and the signs that had followed that, Kaito was a bit more in tune to this sort of thing than he otherwise would have been. Which was why when he found Ran sitting in her bedroom after work one day, Hanae two rooms over playing, and a box in her lap, he wasn’t surprised.

“Ran-hime?” Kaito said softly, tapping on the doorway to catch her attention.

She looked up, startled, but relaxed seeing him. “Kaito. Hi.”

“Are you okay?”

Ran smiled, but her heart wasn’t really in it. “I’m fine, just...”

“Nervous about using that,” Kaito said, nodding at the box.

The smile slid from her face. “A bit. I already know what it’s going to tell me if I’m honest, but. It’s not that the idea upsets me, it’s just unexpected and with Hanae we planned everything out and I’m thinking about how hard it was toward the end of my pregnancy and the first few months with a new baby...”

Kaito came in the room and knelt by her side, taking her hand in his. “Hey, it’s going to be okay. Do you want another child?”

“Yes!” Ran said immediately. “Yes, Shinichi and I have talked about it a few times and how maybe one day... We’ve talked a lot recently. I just wasn’t expecting it,” she repeated. “I love children. The idea of having more than one never was a problem. And I sometimes wished I had a sibling when I was little, but there’s abstract thought and...”

“And there’s having the reality of it in your face,” Kaito finished. “I understand completely. Did you know that I was eighteen when Takumi was born? Completely unplanned, of course because we were both hormonal idiots who didn’t think, but I don’t think either of us ever regretted him even if we regret other things. The first months were hell. I barely slept and Aoko started the police academy before Takumi was a year old so I was on my own a lot...” He smiled at the bittersweet memory. “Thankfully you’re not going to be alone.”

Ran caught his face in her hands. “I know, Kaito. I’ll tell you now, I am expecting your help if I really am pregnant.”

“Of course,” Kaito said. “I’ll be there every step of the way right with Shinichi.”

She smiled and kissed him on the forehead. Kaito’s heart felt calm. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that he would be a third parent to any child Ran had.

“Are you going to use that or...?” Kaito nodded to the pregnancy test still in its box.

Ran squeezed his hand. “Yes. I just needed a moment to brace myself for proof. Because there’s knowing and there’s _knowing._ ”

Kaito leaned up and gave her a kiss on the nose just to see her smile. “Want me to wait out here or?”

“Yes please.” She took the box to the adjoining bathroom.

Kaito sat on the bed. Down the hall, he could hear Hanae singing something to herself tunelessly. Either she’d inherited Shinichi’s tone-deafness or she was making up some song of her own. Kaito smiled as occasionally a word would be clear, something about cats and smiles. It felt like a long wait, but it was only a bit over five minutes before Ran came back out, holding the test stick out in front of her like an offering.

It was positive.

“No surprises there,” she said with another lopsided smile. “Missing my first period wasn’t all that surprising; I’m not terribly regular, but more than one...”

“Congratulations, Ran-hime, Hanae-chan is going to be a big sister.” Kaito offered her a flower, a white carnation since he was only carrying a few of those at the moment (he only had red roses lately when he planned to flirt with Kudo or Ran).

“Thank you, Kaito.” She took it, smiling, and that was all Kaito wanted, to see her smile. “We can tell Shinichi tonight.”

“Of course. Do you need some time on your own?”

“No.” She shook her head. “Play with Hanae while I start dinner?”

“If you need anything else, I’ll do my best to provide,” Kaito said with a shadow of his usual flirtatious wink. Ran laughed and shooed him out the door.

***

Kaito clicked through photos his mother sent from somewhere in the US, comfortably ensconced on Kudo’s living room couch with half a dozen pillows around him and a sleeping toddler on his chest. Kudo, who had spent the last fifteen minutes trying to organize his ever-growing collection of children’s books and movies glanced over his shoulder when Kaito stifled a laugh at one of the photos. The photo’s occupants were making unimpressed faces over a sign proclaiming the restaurant had the best Japanese food east of the Mississippi river. Kaito’s mother had her hand out in a thumbs down.

Kaito glanced over his shoulder to explain how looking for authentic Japanese food was something of a running joke for his mother, when Kudo made a choking sound. “Are you okay?” he asked instead.

Kudo was splotchy-pale, eyes fixed on the photo. “Who is that?”

“My mother?”

“No, the person with her.”

Kaito looked at the photo and back at Kudo. “Aunt Chris?”

“Aunt. She’s your aunt?”

“Not by blood, but she’s been friends with my mom for ages so she kind of feels like an aunt at this point. I’m pretty sure my dad trained her or her mom or something, Kaa-san’s kind of weird about it when I ask. Why?”

Kudo visibly forced himself calm and pinched the bridge of his nose, looking like he’d aged a year in a few minutes. “Kaito, that’s _Vermouth_. One of the Black Organization’s inner members. She’s supposed to be behind bars.”

Kaito blinked. “You’re sure?”

“I’ve been held at gunpoint by her at close range more than once. So yes, I’m sure.”

“Well shit.” Kaito’s had tea with her dozens of times, had his face pinched and been teased about his resemblance to Toichi almost as often. She’s met his son. “I... honestly don’t know what to say.”

“Did they say anything about where they were or what they were doing?” Kudo asked.

“I think they’re in the American Midwest? Somewhere? Kaa-san travels. A lot. About as much as your parents do honestly.”

“Doing what?”

“Haven’t a clue. Sometimes it’s visiting magicians Tou-san knew, sometimes it’s just seeing sights for the hell of it.” Kaito clicked back a few photos to his mother perched on a balcony railing with a glass of wine in hand and the same wild smile Kaito had inherited on her face. It must have been Chris that took the photo. “I always just thought she was running from Tou-san’s memory. She stayed until I was in junior high and then she was gone all the time and I was spending half my time at the Nakamori household like some awkward plus one to their family.” He clicked back to the first photo, just a selfie with a field of flowers in the back. “Guess whatever she’s been doing all these years might not be legal. Though Aunt Chris wasn’t in many photos until recently if that helps any.” Someone save him from more family secrets though. He could live with fewer surprises.

Kudo just kept rubbing his face like he had a headache. “Your mother is Phantom Lady, right?”

“Yep.” It wasn’t worth the effort to hide what was so thinly hidden.

“Is she still an active thief?”

“I’ve never asked. But given that she has been traveling for years and can still afford the house in Japan, it’s pretty likely.” He never asked how the family finances worked, mostly because he didn’t want to think too hard about it. So long as there had been money in the bank, he hadn’t let it bother him. “I know it bothers you, but she has a different set of morals than I do.” Not all thieves returned what they stole.

“I need to process this.”

Kaito sat up a bit, supporting Hanae and his laptop as he did. Hanae made a tiny unhappy sound before squishing her face more comfortably into his chest. “Is this a deal breaker?” Kaito asked, dropping all masks to show his seriousness.

“What?” Kudo stopped rubbing his temples. “No. Of course not. I accepted that you steal things, I can accept the fact that your family steals, I just can’t let myself dwell on it too long. No, I just have to get my head around the fact that Vermouth is still out there running around free and that there’s a chance she might show up here someday. I... really don’t get along with her.”

“I can’t imagine why,” Kaito said drily, relaxing. For a second there... He pushed the brief moment of panic away to decompress later. “Someone takes a potshot at your life a time or two and all.”

Kudo snorted. “Does your mother send photos often?”

“When she remembers to. We talk once a month or so unless there’s something else going on.” Kaito debated with himself a moment then added, “She’s helped a few times with heists over the years.” He still hadn’t forgiven her for not being there when Jii died.

“Ah. Good to know.”

“Don’t try to profile her when you meet her.” Kaito tilted his head back, frowning as something occurred to him. “Actually you probably have already met before. I have a vague memory of meeting your mother before so it wouldn’t be too weird if she met you when you were a kid.”

Kudo grimaced. “I don’t know how to feel about that. How likely is it that I meet your mother?”

“If our relationship lasts, it’s a definite thing, but as to when... dunno when she’ll be in Japan next. Could be a matter of weeks or half a year. There’s no rhyme or reason to when she comes and goes that I’ve noticed.”

“I’ll brace myself for the eventuality then.”

“Maa, you make it sound like it’s a burden.”

“Have you seen my relationship with my in-laws? I seem to bring out the parental protective streak against me. I can’t imagine this going differently.”

“Fair enough. You are a detective to my thief.”

“...Let me know if Vermouth shows up in any more photos?”

“Sure thing, Kudo.”

“I’ve told you to call me Shinichi,” Kudo complained.

“I’ll break my habit eventually, you’ve just been Kudo for years.”

“You’re as bad as Heiji,” Kudo grumbled.

“Me? Never,” Kaito said, going back to his mother’s email. He smiled as Kudo huffed and went back to work on organizing. “Love you too, Shinichi~!” He grinned to himself as Kudo made another choking noise behind him. ‘Love’ was still a new enough word between them to leave Shinichi’s face a wonderful red every time.

***

Normally Kaito would pick up or drop off Takumi at Aoko’s place, but for once she was picking Takumi up from him, and of course it was one of the days he was at the Kudo home rather than his apartment or childhood home. They’d skirted around the whole thing for the last few months, but the happier Kaito grew with how things were going in his life, he could see how uncomfortable Aoko continued to be.

They were in another awkward phase, but at least it wasn’t the cold, brittle sort of awkward at the moment—provided a Kid heist hadn’t just occurred.

It was Ran who got the door. She’d been warned that Aoko was coming. It would have been Kaito answering the door, but Takumi was refusing to pack up his toys in his travel bag and generally dragging his feet about going home to Aoko because Hanae was going to get to go see a live sentai show with her grandparents tomorrow and it wasn’t fair that he didn’t get to go too. Kaito was sympathetic, really, but after the third snit-fit in the last two hours, his patience was running a bit thin.

“Tell you what,” Kaito said, putting Takumi’s action figures back in his bag as fast as Takumi was taking them back out again. “If you’re really really good for the next month, I can look into seeing if you can go to a Christmas show. But only if you’re good.”

“But it’s not the same!” Takumi said. “It won’t be Red-Blue morph against the Gold Beetle!”

“No, but it could be the whole Mountain Team on ice. Wouldn’t that be cooler? Fighting monsters on ice skates?”

Takumi gave him a disgusted look, like ice skating battles couldn’t possibly be as cool as what the stage production promised.

“I’m sorry kiddo, but that’s how it goes. You have school to go to anyway.”

“But I don’t even want to go to school. I hate it.”

“You don’t hate it,” Kaito said with patience he didn’t feel. “You wouldn’t get to see Shiemi and Yuu-kun as often if you didn’t have school.”

“Shiemi’s in another year,” Takumi grumbled.

He was normally such a well behaved kid, too. Kaito put his hands on his hips. “You like gym class and arts and crafts and reading new books. You’d be sad and bored if you didn’t go to school and you know it. Now up. Your Kaa-san is probably here already.”

“She is,” Aoko said from the doorway, less than amused.

Ran stood a few feet behind her. She shot Kaito an apologetic look and a shrug. Kaito’s shoulders slumped for a half second before he pasted a smile on his face.

“See, she’s here already!” Kaito said.

Takumi scowled, caught between greeting his mother and continuing his tantrum. Kaito almost thought it would tip in favor of Aoko but Takumi’s lip wobbled and his face screwed up and Kaito looked at the ceiling as he started crying.

Kaito pushed Takumi’s travel bag into Aoko’s hands. “Okay. This is going nowhere, so I think we’re going to have a bit of a time out and try again, hmm?” Takumi cried harder and Kaito hadn’t had to deal with this since Takumi was three and theoretically it should have been easier to rationalize with a seven year old than a three year old. “We’re going to give you some space so you can calm down, okay?”

Walking away from a crying child was not something that came naturally but Kaito was frankly running out of ideas. He shut the door behind him, Takumi’s muffled voice on the other side and sighed. “Hell,” Kaito said.

“It looks like you’ve had a fun weekend,” Aoko said, and her tone could either be joking or mocking. Given how they usually were toward each other, he was betting toward mocking.

“Sorry,” he said, “it’s not always sunshine and roses.”

“My fault,” Ran cut in, ever the peacemaker. “I should have waited to tell Hanae about the show until he left.”

“It’s not your fault,” Kaito said. “He probably would be upset if he heard about it after the fact too.”

Aoko didn’t say anything to that, but Kaito could see her scoff under her breath. Kaito frowned at her and the tense way she held herself a bit back from Ran, and ah, that was jealousy there, and dislike which wasn’t fair to Ran but not very surprising. He’d probably feel something similar if Aoko showed up with a man at her side tomorrow despite how illogical it would be. It didn’t make this any less uncomfortable though.

“I’ll give him five or ten minutes,” Kaito said to Ran, “then send him home. He’ll probably be calmer once he lets it all out.”

“Do you want tea in the meantime?” Ran offered, looking at Aoko.

And Aoko just looked at Kaito and said, “No thank you,” in a clipped voice that shut down any more offers and any possible attempts at conversation too.

Kaito gave Ran a strained smile. “Thanks, Ran, I think we’ll be fine.” It was a dismissal, but he softened it with a reassuring touch to her arm even though it made Aoko tense up further. “I’ll be up to read Hanae-chan a bedtime story later okay?”

Ran’s politeness warred with her instinct to be supportive. Giving Kaito his privacy won out. “If you need anything...”

“I’ll let you know, thanks.” His smiled dropped once she was out of sight. “Must you?” he said to Aoko.

Aoko flushed. “Shut up! I am trying! I am really trying, Kaito!”

Kaito crossed his arms. In the library, Takumi’s cries were becoming quieter, so he lowered his voice as well. “That was as awkward as that time in third year where you almost hit Koizumi because she flirted with me despite the fact that she was flirting with me from day one.”

“We’d just started dating then!” Aoko hissed, getting in his face. She faltered immediately. Once, arguments were practically foreplay, but now there was just one more layer of awkward and distance and hurt there to keep it from ever being that again. “It’s just seeing you like that, all domestic with them is like looking at what we were and my brain keeps throwing what-ifs at me like we haven’t been down that road a billion times! I thought I went through all of this bullshit when we divorced, but I guess not!”

Kaito didn’t budge. “I get that. But could you keep your anger on me? Ran hasn’t done anything to you.”

“I know that!” And there Aoko’s voice rose. Behind the door, Takumi went abruptly quiet. “I know that,” Aoko repeated. She closed her eyes a moment. “I’m trying, Kaito. It’s going to take a bit longer.”

“Okay.” He’d accept that this was her best right now. “I’m sorry about Takumi. I really did plan to have him ready to go.”

“What is he upset about anyway?”

“Hanae gets to see a stage performance with his favorite sentai series and he’s mad he doesn’t get to go. Which, okay, I get, but if it was one of his friends he wouldn’t be so upset.”

“Of course not,” Aoko said, “but Hanae-chan isn’t like a friend, is she? She’s like a sister.”

Kaito blinked, looked at the situation from the new angle. “Oh.” Huh. “I hadn’t thought of it like that.”

“And you’re sending him home with me and reading her a bedtime story tonight _and_ she’s getting to go to see the show.” Aoko crossed her arms. “Obviously he’s upset. How much time have you been spending with him one on one lately?”

“Some. We still go places together and I’ve been showing him how to do simple magic tricks...” But he’d been at the Kudo house with Takumi a lot more this last month. And the Kudo house inevitably meant Hanae. And while Takumi and Hanae mostly got along, there had been some tension over who got Kaito’s attention when they spent a lot of time together. “So it’s because he’s jealous?”

“Probably. Honestly Kaito, it’s not that hard to figure out.”

“You weren’t the one dealing with the last hour of having to track down all his toys when he kept hiding them,” Kaito muttered. Or alternately being yelled at or given the cold shoulder. “I’ll have to do more one on one things...”

Aoko nodded. She didn’t look upset anymore, probably because she felt in control again in one-upping Kaito in understanding their son. “He will have to learn how to share though. If you stay with the Kudos.”

“I plan to,” Kaito said, just a bit too sharp.

Aoko didn’t rise to meet it this time. “He’ll have to learn,” she repeated. “So there might be more melt downs like this one.”

“Joy.”

She snorted. “I’m sure I’ll have my share to deal with too, Bakaito.”

Kaito would get the worst of it though. If there were struggles now, how would it be when Ran had a second child? How would Hanae handle being a sibling actually? That was stress waiting to happen. But a thought for another day. “I think he’s calmed down now,” Kaito said.

They opened the door and found Takumi curled in a ball with his chin resting on his knees, looking at the door like it had personally destroyed his dreams. He had devastating puppy-dog eyes when he thought to use them, but he wasn’t the manipulative type most of the time. As it was, having that look on him the second he opened the door had Kaito feeling guilty for leaving Takumi in the room in the first place even if it had been five minutes at most.

He knelt down next to him. “Feeling better?”

Takumi sniffed. “No.” He looked between Kaito and Aoko. “Are you fighting again?”

“Not this time,” Aoko said. “Are you ready to go home?”

“No,” Takumi said again.

“Are you sure? You don’t want to have your special banana bread toast for breakfast or read the new book Ojii-san gave you?”

Takumi pouted. “Ran-obasan makes bunny pancakes and there’s lots of books here.”

“Well I could make you bunny pancakes at home and you have your favorite pajamas there too.”

Kaito knew that Aoko had won when Takumi didn’t say anything.

Kaito held out an arm. “Can I get a hug before you go?”

He was scowling but Takumi did hug him. He held on tight like he wouldn’t let Kaito go. “It’s not fair,” he mumbled into Kaito’s shoulder.

“I know, but there will be other shows.”

“She’s too little to even remember it,” Takumi said. More softly he added, “And she gets to have everything.”

“Oh?”

“She gets to do cool things and has fun grandparents and has Shinichi-ojisan and Ran-obasan _and_ you all the time.”

Ah. And Aoko was right. He held Takumi closer. “Can I tell you a secret?” Kaito whispered. He felt Takumi nod against his neck. “Hanae has all those things, but you know what? You have me and Shiemi and your Kaa-san and Ojii-san and Obaa-san who do fun things with you too. And do you know what else you have? You have Shinichi-ojisan and Ran-obasan too. If Hanae has me, you have them too, okay? You’re lucky and get all the cool parents too. Plus Aoko. Hanae doesn’t have Aoko.”

Takumi sniffed, probably getting snot all over Kaito’s shoulder, but that was fine. This was important. “You think?”

“I know,” Kaito said. “And remember what I said, if you’re good we can go to see a sentai show together.”

“Just us?”

“If you want. Or you can invite Shiemi along or something too.”

Takumi clung tight for a second then let go. “Okay.”

Kaito smiled and ruffled his son’s hair so it was even messier than it was naturally. “Be good for your mom, okay?”

Takumi nodded and moved to Aoko to hug her too.

Kaito felt the weight of the situation drain from him. Thank goodness that was over.

“Time to go,” Aoko said. “But can you apologize to your father for yelling at him first? You’re old enough to know better than that.”

Takumi looked down at the floor. “Sorry, Tou-san...”

“You’re forgiven.” He needed to read up on some things. Maybe figure out how to handle this whole situation better. And maybe look into more ways that Takumi could identify and express his emotions. It would probably be healthy for both of them because goodness knew how bad Kaito was with that sort of thing himself. “See you later, Takumi.”

Takumi waved and Aoko waved and Kaito walked with them to the front door where they repeated the process after putting shoes on. Once they were gone he sat down in the genkan for a moment just to let himself decompress a moment. It had been a long afternoon.

Ran found him there minutes, or maybe closer to half an hour later.

“Everything okay?” she asked.

“I think so,” Kaito said. “I think this is Takumi working out more or less not being an only child anymore. Probably.”

“He’s doing fine. He’s already a good brother,” Ran said, accepting that Takumi already was a sibling when Kaito was still wrapping his mind around the idea. Kaito was helping raise two children now, wasn’t he? And soon there’d be a third. “And you’re doing fine as a parent. Trust me.”

Kaito trusted her. She knew what a divorced family could look like, and if anyone could see how hard they were all trying to make this work, Ran could. “Thanks, Ran.”

“Are you staying the night?”

Leave when all he wanted to do was find Shinichi in the study and drag him and Ran into one comfortable cuddle pile? Never. “Sorry, you’re stuck with me. I’ve lost my return label. You have to keep me forever.”

**

The baby was tiny, red and wrinkly and unhappy to be in the world if her expression was anything to go by. All the anxiety and tension of the day left Kaito as he saw Ran holding her. Shinichi was by her side first but Kaito was right behind him. Ran’s parents were still out in the waiting area, but Kaito was, by Shinichi’s insistence, here to experience this. This, more than anything over the last few months cemented that he was part of their lives. Part of...of _them_ as a unit.

Ran looked exhausted and careworn, but happy. Very happy as she ran a finger gently across the baby’s cheek. “She’s healthy and whole,” Ran said.

“And finally facing the world,” Shinichi said, sounding relieved. She’d been late and then it had been a long labor, longer than Kaito remembered with Takumi. “She’s got your nose.” Shinichi leaned against Ran and for a moment Kaito just watched them, warm, complicated emotions tangling up inside of him before Shinichi held out the arm not wrapped around Ran and Kaito went to him to be pulled into this huddle of parental warmth.

“I know we threw around a few names,” Ran said looking down at the bundle in her arms. “But what do you think about Midori?”

“As in the color or as in greenery?” Shinichi said.

“Greenery,” Ran said. “Is it weird to want to keep plant names for girls as a start of a family thing?”

“Sounds like a good one. Better than Shinichi or me,” Kaito said, “since our first names boil down to puns.”

Ran laughed softly. “Midori then.”

Shinichi pulled Kaito and Ran in closer, leaning his head on Ran’s shoulder. Midori made a tiny sound, face scrunching up even more and Ran soothed the irritation away. Kaito couldn’t look away. A baby, a child, a tiny new human being. It remained some kind of miracle how a bunch of cells could become this, could become a child like Hanae or Takumi with personalities and dreams and preferences. It was moments like this that felt more magical than any actual magic, stage or supernatural, that Kaito had come across.

“We should probably get the grandparents,” Shinichi said. He didn’t move though. They all watched Midori sleep a little longer.

**

Kaito had Takumi’s photo album out—it didn’t get updated often, but he tried to keep a record of his life, and lately with the Kudos Kaito felt like he’d found more reasons to take photos than he had in recent years. The new photos had been tucked into their plastic sheets. Shinichi was taking a rare quiet moment to join him in sorting through some of his own photos, starting an album for Midori and updating the one they had for Hanae.

Kaito, full of nostalgia, flipped backward through Takumi’s album. Shiemi was in almost half the pictures with him, and the further back Kaito flipped, the more memories tugged at him, so many tiny moments that had meant so much. Takumi at four, three, two, just walking... He flipped bit further to when Takumi was a newborn. Apparently Takumi looked a lot like Kaito had as a baby but Kaito never took out his baby photos to compare. The same eye shape and facial structure and the same long fingers...

Kaito paused, something tugging at the back of his mind. Scattered on the coffee table were photos of Hanae and Midori. There was one that just... Kaito picked up a photo of Midori and held it next to Takumi’s baby photo. They were both in almost the same position making nearly identical wrinkle-nosed expressions. If you took away Midori’s nose shape which she got from Ran...

“Huh.”

Well, Kaito and Shinichi did look alike, but that was a little... surprising how well Midori’s photo lined up with Takumi.

“What?” Shinichi said, looking up from sorting through Hanae-in-dresses photos.

Kaito handed the two photos over.

“Huh,” Shinichi echoed. “You think...?”

“I don’t know. Do you have any photos of you as a baby to compare?”

“Not on hand though my parents probably have some in the attic or library.” Shinichi tipped his head to the side. “The timing would fit.”

“Would it?” Kaito tried to count back.

“Your first time with us,” Shinichi clarified. “Part of me wondered but. It wasn’t important.”

“That seems pretty important to know.” Kaito would have wanted to know.

“It’s not like it changes anything. Midori’s our daughter,” he said, and yes it was that simple, but at the same time... “You look a lot like me so no one would notice the difference anyway.”

“What if I hadn’t ended up staying?”

Shinichi shrugged. “I don’t know. I can’t say how I’d be in a hypothetical situation. But we don’t even know if she’s yours or mine anyway.”

“Do you want to know?” Kaito asked, feeling... not uncomfortable, but having a moment where he realized he probably would not have been so relaxed about this if it had happened the other way around. He wasn’t sure how to feel about that.

Shinichi pursed his lips. “We should probably check for medical reasons. I don’t know anything about your family medical history. But it doesn’t change things. It shouldn’t anyway. She’s my daughter as much as she is yours no matter who her genetic father is.”

A month ago Koizumi sent Kaito a photo of two newborn girls announcing that she’d had twins and Kaito had gone through a similar range of emotions in a short span of time. Discomfort mixed with worry and longing and a peculiar sort of joy that he could only guess stemmed from knowing that he had another blood relative in the world. Midori was his daughter in the ways Shinichi meant; Kaito changed her diapers and took turns with Ran and Shinichi in feeding and calming and playing and all the little tasks that babies required. He was pretty much another parent to Hanae too by now. It was a little silly to have some deeper emotion about a blood tie. Part of him hoped that Midori was his even though he wouldn’t do anything differently if she was or wasn’t.

Kaito scrubbed a hand through his hair. “Yeah. It’s just weird. I didn’t even consider that was a possibility.”

Shinichi snorted. “I’m not sure why you wouldn’t.”

“Well, I was with you _one time_ and then it was about a month and a half before we got sexual again, more than two before we—” Kaito blushed. “Anyway, it didn’t seem likely.”

“We’ll get a test done,” Shinichi said, handing Takumi’s photo back. “Just to know.”

“Just to know,” Kaito echoed, tucking the photo back in the album.  He wasn’t sure if he would be relieved if it turned out she was his or not. He resolved that he wouldn’t let it affect how he interacted with any of them in any way though. He would just. Know. And that would be enough.

**Unspecified future:**

Kaito made a soft, pleased sound on his throat, sandwiched as he was between Shinichi at his front and Ran at his back. All the perks of feeling every inch of them—Ran’s soft curves against his back and strong thighs bracketing his hips, Shinichi’s firm chest to Kaito’s chest and Shinichi’s perfect butt at just the right height for optimal grabbing. Kaito arched as Shinichi captured his lips, using that same ass as leverage to get closer. Ran stroked Kaito’s sides, Shinichi’s back, her lips warm on Kaito’s neck, and yes, this was his favorite place to be, caught up between them all warm and safe. Shinichi drew back a breath and moved lips across Kaito’s jaw, down toward his neck. Kaito tipped his head back against Ran’s shoulder to give him better access.

Shinichi kissed the hollow of Kaito’s throat before suddenly jerking back. “Wait.”

“What?” Kaito froze and Ran paused, one hand on Kaito’s abs, the other on Shinichi’s collarbone—it had been on his shoulder before he moved.

“Wait, sorry, just—” Shinichi scrambled up, diving for where he’d thrown his underwear. “I gotta—case!” he explained badly.

“Kudo Shinichi are you thinking about murders while you’re in bed with us?!” Kaito demanded.

“Sorry!” Shinichi said, legging it out the bedroom door in only his underwear, pants and shirt in his free hand.

“What the fuck?”

At his back, Ran started laughing, the full-body, almost silent sort of laughter where it wheezed out of you.

Kaito tipped his head to the side. “Are we that boring?”

“Oh my god,” Ran gasped, sides shaking hard enough that Kaito slid off her shoulder and gracelessly into her lap. “That’s just so—!”

“So Shinichi,” Kaito agreed with a sigh. He met Ran’s grin and started laughing too until they were both giggly messes. “I am going to hold this over him forever!” Kaito said, gasping for breath.

Ran swatted him ineffectually, still laughing too hard to even aim right. “I’d be annoyed—but—your face!”

“Our clothes came off like ten minutes ago! He shouldn’t have been able to think about cases!”

“It’s Shinichi.” Ran grinned down at him. Kaito was suddenly very aware that he was still tucked between her thighs.

He trailed a hand over one, from hip to knee, enjoying how her expression went from amused to interested in record time. “So. There’s no reason why we can’t just continue. Shinichi’s loss.”

Ran snorted, one hand coming up to cover her face. Once upon a time Kaito used to think there was nothing more exhilarating than being chased by Aoko when she was angry, but honestly? Ran laughing did things to him that even seeing Aoko flushed with flustered irritation didn’t do when he was seventeen and hormonal as hell.

“Well, he was the one rude enough to run out on us,” Ran said, eyes sparkling. “And we have a nice comfy bed that we’re already naked in...”

“Shame to waste that.”

Ran kissed him.  Kaito grinned, heart singing like he’d pulled off the best heist performance of his life. Really, Shinichi’s loss.

***

The heist was a close call. A gunshot while he was taking the gem, a few centimeters too wide but close enough that shattered glass had caught the exposed skin at his wrists and a few places on his face. Thankfully nothing deep, but it was more of his blood on scene that he’d had to take time to clean even as he fled. The gem, of course, had not been Pandora. But there hadn’t been collateral this time so Kaito counted that as a win.

He’d retreated to the Kudo manor because it was closer to the Beika museum than his apartment or his childhood home. Of course that meant he woke Shinichi and Ran up coming in through the bedroom window.

In retrospect, he probably should have used the front door; it would have been more inconspicuous. Habit, however, had him half through the window before he even thought about the fact that they were sleeping.

“Kaito?” Shinichi mumbled, still half asleep as he turned on the bedside lamp.

“Go back to sleep, I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Kid,” Shinichi corrected, seeing Kaito still in his gear. “The heist, how did—you’re hurt.”

“What?” Ran sat up and paled when she saw him.

“It’s not that bad,” Kaito said with a sigh. He slid the window shut.

“Kaito, you have blood all down the side of your face,” Ran said. She crossed around the bed and Shinichi followed a moment later.

Kaito ignored them and headed for the bathroom. “It was just a bit of glass. It looks worse than it is.”

“Snipers?” Shinichi asked, awake and needing to know everything.

“Yes, but clearly not a very good sniper.”

That joke fell flat. Kaito hauled out the fully stocked first aid kit and pulled out bandages, antiseptic ointment, alcohol and tweezers on the off chance there was any glass slivers still in the wound. By the time he had everything out and lined up on the countertop, Ran had a wet washcloth waiting.

“I can clean my own wounds,” Kaito said. He wasn’t used to having anyone help with this sort of thing. His mother was almost never around, and by the time he met up with Jii after heists in the past, he’d have already cleaned up and bandaged anything that needed bandaging.

“You can, but you don’t have to,” Ran said. She stared Kaito down until he relented, offering his face first. Shinichi took off his hat and monocle, setting them to the side as Ran cleaned blood off his cheek. The cloth felt rough against dozens of tiny cuts, stinging as they were tugged open again.

“They’re the same people from last time, correct?” Shinichi said, watching like the detective he was, like a predator waiting for the twitch of a mouse’s tail to pounce on.

“So far as I’m aware, it’s always the same people. Snipers that is.” He flinched as Ran disinfected the cuts. She turned his face this way and that, looking for any sign of lingering glass. “Usually it’s a kill shot attempt from a distance, but every now and then they send someone to threaten face to face—ow!”

“Hm, hold still, there’s a splinter stuck. You’re lucky that missed your eye.” Ran readied the tweezers.

“I’m always lucky,” Kaito argued. “Anyway, yes, same people.” He shivered. “They’re getting bolder.”

“They shot your partner.”

Kaito sent a glare Shinichi’s way because they might not have ever talked about it, but Shinichi _knew_ what drove Kaito closer to them. He was a detective, he wouldn’t have missed the connection between the body found near a Kid heist and Kaito’s depressive spiral shortly after. That didn’t mean Kaito was any more ready to put that into words. He didn’t talk about most of his emotions. Most of his emotions were a mess and it would take too long to find a beginning or end to untangle them in the first place so Shinichi could leave that particular snarl of hell alone.

Shinichi nodded, like Kaito’d said everything out loud anyway. “What is your end goal here? I know you’re after a gem and I’ve pieced together it has some sort of myth attached. So why are they trying to kill you, Kaito?”

“Guess.”

Ran put a bandage on Kaito’s face none too gently. “Stop being angry at us, we’re helping,” Ran said. She grabbed Kaito’s hand next, honing in on the next sign of blood.

“...I’m trying to find a mythical gem that grants immortality before the people looking for it can get it. I don’t know why they want it, and frankly I don’t give a fuck why they want it. All I know is they killed my dad for it and would kill me, and that’s enough to make me want to keep it away from them.” Kaito let out a hiss of pain as Ran worked on his wrist, the worst of the damage. “Originally I wanted to get them all arrested, but the whole thing just gets deeper the more I look into it and all I have is a bunch of files on people and not enough concrete proof to do anything about it. And that’s only scratching the surface.”

“You have files?” Shinichi said.

“Of course I have files. I have to know who might be crooked on the police force. Granted that end of things is kind of patchy since I usually can only look into where evidence goes missing. But I haven’t spent almost a decade at this without learning to keep track of where things happen or who happened to be involved with things outside the police.” Some of Kaito’s irritation ebbed as he noticed Shinichi’s thoughtful expression. “Why?”

“Because, that’s evidence. And if there’s evidence you can build a case from it. Is it usually the same person trying to kill you? How big of a group are we talking about?”

“I’m... not sure. There used to be a man called Snake, and then there was Jackal and Rose, but they’re not active anymore, at least one of them is dead...” Indirectly due to Kaito for one of them, but he wasn’t going to think too hard about that. “There are at least two people I’ve noticed lately but there could be more. And that’s just the assassins. I don’t know much about the higher ups. Jackal liked to talk, but I only got him face to face a few times. The thing with snipers is that it’s hard to get close to them since they’re usually trying to kill you from a distance.”

“I understand that. But Kaito, when it comes to taking down crime organizations, do you know anyone with more experience than I do?”

Kaito went cold. He turned sharply, ignoring Ran’s protest as he jerked in her grip. “No. You aren’t getting involved. My life is in enough danger, I don’t want them trying to kill you too.”

Shinichi crossed his arms. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think I’m already involved. I’m involved with you, and if they’re targeting you, then it’s already my problem. Even if you can guarantee that this group of yours doesn’t have the slightest idea of your civilian identity, the fact that I attend heists could put me in danger. People are currently in danger at every heist you have. Tell me, why isn’t it in the best interest of everyone involved that I look into this?”

“Kudo. Shinichi. This isn’t just in Japan. They’re active around the world. I just haven’t had much opportunity to interact with them out of Japan. Last time you ran into a group like that you spent two years as a seven-year-old and almost died half a dozen times _that I know of_. I asked you to avoid heists because I didn’t want to put you more at risk.”

“Again, the points I just made. Besides, Kaito, there are always people who are going to want to take a shot at me or my loved ones. Always. I deal with murderers remember?”

How could Kaito forget? Just two days ago Kaito watched him solve a murder case over what was supposed to be a quick lunch out together while they were on work break. “Ran?” Kaito said, hoping she could knock some sense into him.

Ran wouldn’t meet his eyes. “You know as well as I do that you’re not going to be able to convince him not to seek justice when people are being murdered, Kaito,” she said, dabbing ointment on Kaito’s wrists.

“But—”

“Kaito,” she said gently. “I don’t like the idea of him getting caught up with something that big again, but it’s better if he’s ahead of them than them coming for him without warning.” She smiled sadly. “And that would happen. They already have an idea who you are, don’t they? Since they found your partner?”

“...They shouldn’t. Not right now.”

“Right now?” Shinichi said sharply. “What did you do?”

Kaito winced. “I didn’t kill anyone. You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“Kaito.”

“ _Shinichi_.” Kaito said back.

Shinichi huffed. Then he caught Kaito’s chin in one hand so Kaito had to meet his eyes, a challenge and a promise burning in them. “Kaito, let me help. I can’t promise that I’d be able to get rid of them entirely, but getting them out of Japan? I already have the connections that would make that possible. I just need information and leads to follow.”

Kaito wanted to believe him. Desperately. He also had too clear a memory of Jii’s corpse. And fainter but equally traumatic, his father’s death.

“Trust me. I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t think I would be able to do it and keep myself and my family safe.”

It wasn’t even a year yet since Jii.

Kaito closed his eyes so he wouldn’t have to see Shinichi’s sincerity.

“Fine,” Shinichi sighed. “I’m dropping this for now, but this isn’t over.”

Ran finished with his wrists and Kaito let her. Let her bandage them and let Shinichi stand close and trace the fine, tiny scars that were already on Kaito’s face from times glass shattered on him in the past. He knew Shinichi with a goal in mind was as relentless and targeted as a hunting dog with a scent. He wasn’t going to let this go. And as good as Kaito was at playing the fox, he wasn’t going to be able to avoid the topic forever. Not when he was half living with Shinichi and Ran. Eventually Shinichi would wear him down. And Kaito would give him what he wanted to know. The future was clear in Kaito’s head, how this would go, but beyond surrendering what he knew, he couldn’t predict where things would go from there. Because he knew Shinichi and Shinichi had always gotten the culprit in the end.

So Kaito had a tiny flame of hope.

But he didn’t nurture it because he couldn’t afford to. He’d still keep Shinichi away from his mess as long as he could. He fell for people because of their passion and drive, not in spite of it, even when he knew it had a likelihood of coming back to hurt him.

Kaito hoped that this wouldn’t hurt him.

He wanted to learn to get used to coming home to people who would sit him down and look at his wounds and worry over him.

***

Kaito raise a glass in toast. Aoko, on the other side of her kitchen table, mirrored him. “To Nakamori-keibu. May he have a peaceful, well-earned retirement.” He drank.

“Toast for him fighting on literal decades despite dealing with your bullshit,” Aoko said.

“Both Oyaji and my bullshit,” Kaito corrected. “Nakamori-keibu, the underrated terrier who never gave up nipping at our heels.”

“Don’t call my dad a dog,” Aoko said, but she drank too. They’d both drank tonight. A lot. Miraculously nothing was broken yet.

“It’s the end of an era,” Kaito said. “What is he going to do with all that time on his hands? Take up knitting? Do Tai Chi? Finally work on his anger management issues?”

Aoko swatted him. That was deserved. “He’s taking a vacation and planning to do volunteer work. If his back lets him. You know how bad it’s been.”

Nakamori hadn’t done much chasing for the last year. The retirement wasn’t exactly a surprise. “I’ll have to adjust to someone new running heists. How many habits will I have to break?”

“Shush you whiner. You’re not allowed to complain.” Aoko glared. Kaito relented. Two years ago they wouldn’t be sharing drinks let alone talking about her father’s retirement and Kid over Aoko’s kitchen table, so... Yeah, no room to complain. “I wonder if Tou-san will start talking to you again now that I talk to you?”

“Nah, I broke your heart. He hates me.”

“Doesn’t.”

“Does,” Kaito said, sticking his tongue out childishly as he stole Aoko’s bottle of whiskey to top up his glass. She had the sort of liquor taste Jii had approved of, Kaito mused, swirling the liquid so the light played off it. “He’s spent the last...” Kaito couldn’t count the years at the moment. “Long time... Ignoring me whenever we were in the same room. Or glaring. A lot of glaring.”

“He doesn’t. He’d have caught you if he did.”

“He doesn’t know who I am, Aoko.”

“He does. And he doesn’t?” She wobbled a hand in the air. “He knows but doesn’t want to know? Like me before? Everything’s there he just doesn’t want to see it like I didn’t. So sorta knowing.”

Kaito rolled his eyes. “Doesn’t count.”

Aoko stole the whiskey back. “Uh yeah it does because he could have authorized lethal force for how long you’ve been active but he never did.”

“He isn’t the type to use lethal violence on a non-lethal thief.”

“Hm,” Aoko hummed, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. “I’m going to throw my name in for Tou-san’s position.”

Kaito choked on his drink, whiskey burning through his nasal passages as he coughed and sputtered. “What? Why?”

“Why not?” Aoko said.

“You know why not!”

“You and Kudo kicked your killers out of Japan. Locked them up. It’s safer than working homicides these days.” Aoko propped her head on one hand, clearly amused as hell at catching him off guard. “Plus think of the pay raise.”

“Out of Japan, not out of existence!” Kaito said, fighting his drunk brain for clear thought. “I don’t want you being more of a target!”

“You’re such a hypocrite Kaito,” Aoko said calmly. “Besides. I’m not going to get it first off. Not enough experience and I’m a woman. I’ll have to prove I can do better than whatever dumbass they hire before I’d get the job.”

“You don’t seem to think they’ll hire anyone good...” Kaito set his glass down. It might be time to drink some water.

“You see the kind of people I work with? Half of them are idiots, another quarter are thrill seekers, and the ones with brains tend to get in trouble because they thought out of the box and it led to doing something against a direct order. I have to figure out how to work in the constraints but think creative and do twice as good as the next guy to get the job.” She smirked, total confidence in her posture that normally never showed. It was probably because she was drunk, but Kaito’s drunk brain informed him that she looked really hot at the moment. Kaito’s drunk brain could shut up because they were both taken at the moment. Besides how completely idiotic it would be to restart anything with their history. “But I can do it.”

“I know you can, but why would you want to?”

“Someone’s gotta watch your idiot back,” Aoko said with a shrug. “And I’m good at making it look like I want to catch you even when I don’t.”

Years with a mop, Kaito thought. Much dodging. Mutual dodging? Who even knew at this point. “If they know that you know who I am then you’d be in so much trouble. You’d be fired. Maybe arrested.”

“Like I’m not already going to be?” Aoko said. She snorted. “Give up Kaito, I can do what I want.”

Kaito conceded. She always did what she wanted anyway regardless of how he felt. “You know, maybe we shouldn’t have broke out the whiskey and drank like half a dozen shots.”

“You’re not sad drunk today so it’s not a mistake.” Aoko, somehow doing better than Kaito despite drinking just as much and being a good bit lighter, finished off what was in her glass. “If you cry on me I’m kicking you out.”

“Ugh, I’m not gonna cry.” He might end up calling Shinichi or Ran to pick him up though because it wasn’t going to be a good idea to let him loose when drunk. He did stupid stupid things when drunk. Granted he’d probably just climb his lovers’ window and try to proposition them again. Kaito eyed the whiskey in his glass. At what point of drunkness did he lose all sense of embarrassment and impulse control?

“To getting shitfaced over the end of a crime-fighting era!” Aoko said, pouring herself a little bit more alcohol. The bottle was alarmingly low considering it was just the two of them drinking and it had been full before they started.

“Aw, hell,” Kaito said. “We only live once.” Get shitfaced with Aoko because they had reached the point where they could do this. Sure. Worth the hangover tomorrow. Thank god Takumi was with Shiemi and Keiko this weekend. “Don’t let me climb anything.”

“You’re not gonna climb things, you’re gonna do a magic show for me because it’s been freaking years and I like the thing with the...the...” She waved a hand and it could be anything from a card bridge to making something vanish and reappear.

“I’m not at my best drunk,” Kaito warned.

“The room is tilting and I’m easily impressed.”

Kaito snorfled into his drink. What the hell. “Cheers to magic,” he said, stealing Aoko’s glass and downing it. He’d regret it in the morning but tonight he was going to have fun with his one-time best friend.

 

***

“Hey Takumi?” Shiemi said. Tucked up under the blanket fort in the Kudo living room, she was cast in shadows. Takumi could barely make out her face, but something in her voice said that this was something important. The sort of thing that could only be brought up when she was sure they were alone. Couldn’t get more alone than a blanket fort sleepover at two in the morning. Hanae and Midori had been carried up to their rooms asleep hours ago.

“Yeah?” Takumi clicked on a flashlight. It was too bright, so he clicked it off immediately. In the split second of expression he’d seen on Shiemi’s face, she looked more nervous than Takumi had seen her be since that time she talked about who her dad was and why he wasn’t in her life. That was two years ago. He was twelve now and had no idea what she might bring up because they talked about pretty much everything. What could be so serious that she was nervous?

“I’ve been thinking a lot lately. Well. For a while now.”

“Yeah?” Takumi repeated when she paused. He reached out and took her hand. Shiemi squeezed back.

“You know how your dad likes both Ran-obasan and Shinichi-ojisan?”

Oh, now he could see where this was going. “He’s bi, yeah?”

“I think I like girls.” A deep breath. “I know I like girls. And not boys.”

“Okay.” It seemed like such a small thing, but clearly it wasn’t since Shiemi was so nervous. What, did she think he would be weirded out by it? “That’s cool. Anyone you like now?”

“That’s it?” Shiemi said, elbowing him.

“Ow. Why would it be a problem?”

“I don’t know. People at school are just... yeah, sometimes they say things...”

“And you listened to them? What happened to the girl who laughed in the face of the guy that tried to bully her?”

“I don’t care about them! They’re idiots! I just...”

Takumi turned so he could squirm closer, shoving pillows aside. “Shiemi, Tou-san has been with Shinichi-jisan how long now? It’s not a problem. I know boys can like boys and girls can like girls.”

“Ugh, I know it’s just different to say it out loud!” Shiemi huffed. She pulled him into a hug. “I never said it out loud to anyone before,” she mumbled into his shoulder. “I didn’t think it would be so scary to say it out loud.”

“To me?”

“No, just out loud really. Saying things out loud makes them more real. And you know what people are like about homosexuality.”

Takumi did know. It wasn’t broadcast that his dad was with the Kudos, but it wasn’t exactly a secret either and there had been times over the years... “Like you said, they’re idiots.”

“Idiots with power,” Shiemi said with a disgusted scoff. “I wish that would change.”

“You’re just going to have to do it yourself,” Takumi teased, thinking of how often she complained about something and did just that.

“Obviously.” Shiemi giggled. “Okay, can you picture me in politics?”

Takumi hummed. “Actually, yeah.”

“What really?”

“You’re bossy enough.”

“Takumi!” Shiemi shoved him away, laughing. He laughed with her. She was laughing a bit harder than the situation called for, but he figured it was relief. Silly, he wasn’t going to change how he was with her. When their giggled petered off, she sighed. “You know, maybe I should really go into politics. Maybe I could make a difference.”

“If you do, I’ll back you up.”

“As what, a fellow politician?”

“I dunno. I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. Maybe I could join pro sports and be a spokesperson or something.” He’d started lacrosse this year and he was loving it. For a second he pictured standing in front of cameras after a win, telling some person about sexualities. It would probably be a scandal if he did, but it would be so worth it.

“You’re not that good at sports.”

“I dunno, I could be. I just have to try harder.”

Shiemi snorted. “You do that.” She caught Takumi’s hand again, lacing their fingers together like they did when they were younger. “I have a crush on Arisa in your class. She’s cute and she always says hi when I visit you at lunch and she can run really fast. She’s so cool.”

Takumi barely knew Arisa, but he could agree that she was pretty cool. “Are you going to tell her?”

“No. I’m not ready to tell the world yet. And if I asked her out there’d probably be rumors...” She looked at Takumi, dim light reflecting off her glasses. “You like anyone?”

“No,” Takumi said. “I keep thinking about it, but I don’t really get it. Maya-chan likes Jun, and everyone thinks Jun is attractive, but I just look at him and go, yeah, that’s a guy, and Kenta keeps being girl crazy but I can’t relate at all. They’re pretty I guess but...” Takumi shrugged. “It’s like everyone’s put on some pair of glasses that make you see people as attractive and I never got a pair. They’re people and they’re mostly nice people, but they’re just the same as they’ve always been, you know?”

“Kind of?” Shiemi said.

“I’ve looked into it some and maybe I just am one of those people who don’t like people that way. I don’t know. Maybe I never will or maybe I’ll wake up and find people pretty someday.”

“Does it bother you?”

“A little? But not much. I mean why get upset about who likes who, there’s so much to do, why waste time getting caught up in all of that.”

Shiemi snickered. “You would say that.” She nudged Takumi with her elbow and Takumi could see the hint of a smile in the dark. “Thanks. For listening and sharing.”

“Duh. You’re my best friend.”

“Don’t be a brat.”

Takumi stuck his tongue out at her. Shiemi shoved him. He tickled her, but that was always a battle he would lose. She had him wheezing laughter and crying in a matter of minutes, begging for mercy.

“I don’t know why you even start tickle fights when you know I’ll win,” Shiemi said.

“Worth it,” Takumi gasped. She was happy again and nothing had changed between them with sharing those secrets.

“So... If I ever do want to date someone, will you help be my wingman?”

“Pff, sure, Shiemi.”

**

Takumi was doing homework with Shiemi in the kitchen when the front door opened and shut. He didn’t think anything of it until there wasn’t his mother’s usual greeting. Instead, there was a patter of socked feet too small for an adult and Hanae rushing into the kitchen.

“Takumi-nii?” she said. She looked like she’d seen someone kick a puppy, torn between being upset and angry and it had Takumi wanting to track whatever caused it down because Hanae didn’t get upset easily.

She also wasn’t supposed to be here. “Hanae, what are you doing here?” Takumi asked, holding his arms out. Hanae rushed into the hug. “Are you by yourself?” he added, realizing that would mean she’d come all the way from Ekoda Elementary on her own and anything could have happened. And her parents might not even know. “How did you even get in?”

“You gave me a key remember?” she said into his shoulder.

“Yeah, but you gave it back.” She must have made a copy; she was all about spies and ciphers and sneaky tricks lately which Takumi’s father was gleefully ‘helping’. Hanae squirmed free of the hug. “Takumi-nii, I need help with something.”

Takumi shot Shiemi a look. Shiemi shrugged, setting her homework aside to watch this unfold. “What kind of help are we talking about?”

“So my friend Ryou-kun came into school with his nails painted today cuz his sister had a sleepover and he got to join in. And I told him they looked pretty, because they did. They were all dark sparkly blue—that’s really pretty and it looked good on him, but then one of the other boys in class noticed and started being mean and kept calling him pretty and girly and made him cry and he took the polish off even though he was so happy earlier.” Hanae scowled. She looked a lot like Ran-basan glaring at a criminal when she was angry. She could probably do a decent amount of damage too since Hanae had been doing karate since she was four. “I offered to hit them but he told me not to and said not to call him pretty anymore because boys couldn’t be pretty. Which is stupid.”

Takumi nodded, sharing another glance with Shiemi who was a lot more interested now. “It is stupid. Of course boys can be pretty. I can be pretty sometimes, right Shiemi?”

“Uh. Objectively speaking you’re not...not pretty?” Shiemi said, not expecting to be addressed.

Takumi rolled his eyes.

“Takumi, I told you like, two weeks ago! I am not the best person to ask about whether a man is pretty or not!”

“Anyway,” Takumi said, setting a hand on Hanae’s shoulder, “pretty or not, there’s nothing wrong with a guy liking pretty things. Or girly things. Girly isn’t bad.”

“I know!” Hanae said, standing straighter. “That’s what Kaa-san’s said, but the boys in class are stupid and mean.”

“Okay,” Takumi said slowly. “What did you need my help with anyway? Why didn’t you just tell a teacher they were being mean?”

Hanae huffed. “I can’t go to the teacher! They’ll just pretend to listen and be sneakier about being mean! I want you to talk to the boys because they won’t listen to me. You’re a middle schooler, so you’re almost cool now and they’re more likely to listen to another boy.”

Almost cool. Takumi struggled not to smile at that. “I kind of doubt they’ll listen to me.” But who the heck were these kids that just ruined a boy’s self-image just because he happened to wear sparkly nail polish? One, there were plenty of boys who wore nail polish—even some baseball catchers wore it for better signing. Two, like heck was being a pretty boy an insult! “...we’ll just have to prove them wrong,” Takumi said.

“Oh?” Shiemi said.

“Yes,” Takumi said, deciding he’d do this. Somehow. An idea sparked. He grinned slowly.

“Takumi, no, I’m the one with the crazy ideas, not you,” Shiemi said, seeing his expression.

“You don’t know the idea yet.”

“I know you.”

“Will it help Ryou feel better?” Hanae asked.

“Maybe,” Takumi said. “I can talk to him too if you want. In the meantime...” He dashed up to his room and back down in record time, a couple small, round objects in his hands. “Here.” He set them in Hanae’s hands.

“Are those...?” Shiemi started, craning her neck.

“Glitter bombs,” Takumi said, grin vicious. “ _Rainbow_ glitter bombs. Set them up in their shoe lockers or desk and it will cover them. And their clothes. And their things. And it will take weeks to get rid of and they’ll still be finding glitter in odd places for months.”

“I knew you were the right one to talk to,” Hanae said with satisfaction.

“Tou-san probably would have given you glitter bombs too,” Takumi said.

“Yeah, but he’d feel guilty and probably tell Kaa-san and Tou-san he gave me them or something.” Hanae clutched the glitter bombs close. “This way no one has to know it was me.”

“They’re going to know it was you,” Takumi said, “because who else would do it?”

“Yeah,” Hanae said, “but this way they don’t have _proof_ it was me. I just gotta time it right.”

There was probably, Takumi reflected, some negative effects of growing up around a lot of crime scenes.

“So what else?” Hanae asked.

Takumi grinned, Shiemi shrugged and gave into the inevitable and joined in the planning, and Hanae wholeheartedly threw herself into getting revenge for her friend.

**

“So,” Shinichi said the second Kaito stepped into the kitchen after work, “there were a few phone calls for you today from the school.”

“Takumi’s school?”

“And Hanae’s.” Shinichi was reading the paper. He looked amused in a way that set off Kaito’s flight instincts. “You also had one from Aoko-san. She said that this is your problem and she’s not taking any part of it. By the way, you chose a bad day to forget your cell phone at home.” Shinichi held up Kaito’s missing phone.

“You don’t say?” Kaito took it. Two voicemails from the respective schools. One missed call from Aoko and a text. Six missed calls in total. “I’m assuming you listened to the voice mails.”

“Mm,” Shinichi hummed. “They also called me and Ran.”

“Give me a digest version?”

“Something about crossdressing in public, infiltrating an elementary school, skipping class, and terrifying several children during their lunch break?”

What did Takumi do? “And to think I thought my son didn’t inherit my streak of flaunting authority.”

Shinichi laughed at him.

“Shush, your children are going to be trouble magnets too.”

“Actually, considering how the boys who were involved with this incident are the same ones who were mysteriously pranked a few days ago with a glitter bomb, I think Hanae already is one, and we can deduce who prompted Takumi to act out.”

“...So you already have the whole thing figured out don’t you?”

“Pretty much. They’re a bunch of kids, there’s limits to their resources and planning.”

Shinichi wasn’t going to tell Kaito what he’d figured out either. Kaito huffed and sat at the table. “I hate you sometimes.”

“Love you too, Kaito.” Shinichi grinned and picked his paper back up. “Have fun being a parent with this one.”

Kaito gave him a middle finger which Shinichi conveniently didn’t see. He listened to the messages.

**

“Takumi, officially you’re grounded for the duration of your suspension,” Kaito said the moment Takumi stepped foot in the kitchen after school. He kept helping Ran with cooking, enjoying the panicked expression on his son’s face from the corner of his eye.

“Uh.” Takumi froze.

“Unofficially, how could you let yourself get caught?”

Ran whapped Kaito lightly on the head. “What he means is he’s disappointed. Don’t do that again.”

“Did you at least accomplish what you were trying to do?”

“Yes?” Takumi said, clearly expecting a lot worse after probably getting yelled at by the staff of two schools for hours and a talking to from Aoko on top of that. She was the one who had been called in to deal with it, being the primary contact.

“Well okay then. I hope someone got pictures to memorialize this though.”

“You’re not mad?”

Kaito smirked. “Not really. I mean I did worse things in school. Granted I was a bit older before I broke into places cross dressed but—”

“You what?!”

“Not important,” Kaito said waving that away. He didn’t know when a good time to explain Kid would come up and he and Aoko still went back and forth about if it was something that they’d ever tell Takumi about in the first place. “But Hanae already explained why you did it.”

Takumi looked at Hanae who was doing her homework at the kitchen table while Midori scribbled on scrap paper with crayons. “I wasn’t going to make you the fall guy,” she said.

“Oh. Okay.” Takumi sat down, a little dazed. “And Shiemi got photos. She says for blackmail but you can’t blackmail me if I’m not ashamed.”

“Always a good mindset,” Kaito agreed. Ran rolled her eyes at them.

Takumi shook his head. Hanae cleared her throat at Takumi and he blinked. “Oh yeah, so, Tou-san am I pretty?”

Kaito glanced at him with a grin from where he was chopping vegetables. “You’re gorgeous.”

“See?” Takumi said to Hanae.

Hanae scoffed. “Dads don’t count. They have to say you’re pretty.”

“Your classmates thought I was pretty.”

“Well yeah, but they’re stupid so...”

“I’ll find an unbiased opinion somewhere.”

“Eh, Ryou thinks you’re pretty, and his opinion is all that matters so.”

“...You just wanted me to ask Tou-san if I was pretty didn’t you?”

Hanae giggled.

“I got suspended for you!”

“Hanae is grounded for the weekend,” Ran said, “since she got you involved.”

“But we’re really glad you stuck up for your friend,” Kaito said.

“Stop undermining the effects of discipline, Kaito,” Ran said.

“But I thought that was my reason for existing?” Kaito said with a straight face.

“I hate you all,” Takumi said. “But I proved that boys can be pretty and that the elementary school needs better security.”

“Someone’s taking care of that.”

“Good.”

**Far off future:**

“Kaa-san, Tou-san, Kai-Tou-san! We’re home! Takumi-nii is visiting!” Hanae’s voice echoed from the front door.

Kaito set down the onion he was cutting, counting the seconds before he’d end up tackled. A few steps away, Ran did the same, setting aside her stirring spoon. Sure enough, Midori barreled into the room two seconds later, hair a mess and her school bag flung around haphazardly as she ran. She tackled Kaito’s legs first before latching onto Ran.

“School was fun but I’m glad it’s done, where’s Tou-san?” she said all in one breath.

“He’s finishing up some paperwork in the study,” Ran said, and Midori was off again to go give Shinichi a hug. She had too much energy, even for Kaito some days. Ran quirked a smile at Kaito. Kaito gave an exaggerated shrug back. Yeah, it was probably his genetics at work there. Somehow they’d skipped Takumi despite all probability.

“We’re home,” Hanae said again, entering the kitchen with Takumi at a much calmer pace than her sister had. “Kaa-san, do I have to be in fourth grade or can I just skip? It’s only the first day and I’m bored out of my mind.”

“You can’t skip,” Ran said, with the same patient tone she’d used last year when Hanae had asked the same thing. Hanae was ahead in a few subjects, but not all of them. “Besides, you’d have to have a whole new group of classmates.”

“We get a new home room every year anyway,” Hanae sighed.

“You have to find ways to make it interesting,” Kaito said with a wink. “Make up a game to pass the boring classes.”

“Like how you used to prank your whole class?” Takumi asked. He stole a slice of carrot from Kaito’s cutting board.

“Hands off, this is for dinner,” Kaito said, batting Takumi’s grabby fingers away. “And sort of. I don’t think anything that showy is a good idea, but you’ve got a brain, there has to be something interesting to puzzle out in your classes.”

“Can you show me how to make glue bombs?” Hanae asked hopefully.

Ran cleared her throat pointedly.

“No, I don’t have a death wish.” Kaito skated close to the line already with teaching the kids simple sleight of hand. Ran had been pissed when she found out he taught Hanae and Midori lock picking—almost as angry as Aoko had been when he taught Takumi, but as Shinichi had pointed out, it was a useful skill to have considering how danger tended to crop up in their lives. That said, Kaito wasn’t going to push his luck. Providing ways to cause chaos at school would be a step or five over the line of what was and wasn’t acceptable.

“Stingy,” Hanae said. “Takumi-nii, teach me to make glue bombs?”

“What makes you think I know how to make glue bombs?” Takumi said. He took over setting the table as Ran and Kaito worked on finishing dinner.

Hanae, making more of a nuisance of herself than not as she was still slumped at the table, shrugged. “Because you know how to make smoke pellets. And you get a kick out of glitter bombs. Why not glue bombs?”

“I can’t say whether I can or can’t make one,” Takumi said.

“Good diplomatic answer,” Kaito said.

“That means yes, yes you can make one,” Hanae said. She had Shinichi’s deadpan sarcasm down pat.

“We can brainstorm ways to keep you entertained after dinner,” Takumi offered.

“Fi—ne,” Hanae groaned.

“How was your first day of high school, Takumi?” Ran asked as she took the cutting board full of vegetables from Kaito to start stir frying them.

“It was fine.” Takumi shrugged. “It was nice to be in the same building as Shiemi again, though she’s definitely going to try and booby-trap my shoe locker. I see a prank war coming. Turns out my homeroom teacher is new to the staff—Yumi-sensei, er Hatsumoto-sensei, left for maternity leave so they hired a foreigner to teach. Sort of foreigner?” Takumi tipped his head to the side. “He’s half-Japanese, no accent, and rumor has it he’s from Britain. Rumor also has it he’s an alumni from Ekoda High, but I don’t know if that’s true or not. He seems pretty uptight and serious though. Shiemi was sad because he’s probably going to be in charge of the Literature club with Hatsumoto-sensei gone.”

“A half-British alumni,” Kaito murmured. Could it be...? “What’s the teacher’s name?”

“Hakuba I think, spelled the same as Hakuba laboratories.” Takumi finished setting chopsticks around the table and turned to Kaito. “Why?”

“Huh.” Hakuba as a teacher. A _high school_ teacher no less. What the hell had brought him back here so many years later? “I went to school with him.”

“Really?” Takumi asked, curious.

Kaito didn’t talk about his school days much, didn’t talk about anything before the divorce much, but he’d made enough comments when Ran and Shinichi talked about their own high school days over the years that Takumi had a picture of what it must have been like. Kaito scratched the back of his head sheepishly. “Yeah. We didn’t get on much. I pranked the hell out of him and he would get all uptight and smug at me whenever he could hold something over me.” Which admittedly didn’t happen too often. “By the time he moved back to London we tolerated each other, but I can’t say we were ever friends exactly. He was a detective back then though, and he wanted to catch Kid.”

“And you were Kid’s biggest fanboy,” Takumi filled in, like that was explanation enough for why they hadn’t gotten along. “It’s weird that my homeroom teacher is someone you knew though. Think that will make him biased against me?”

“Mm, probably not. Hakuba wasn’t the type to make assumptions about people without evidence. If he’s still like who he was back then, he’d be wary, but wouldn’t treat you differently unless you tried to prank him. Keep from doing anything I’d have done and I’m sure he’ll treat you like everyone else in class.”

Hakuba had always been reasonably fair. A bit prone to showing off, but Kaito had been the same way back then so he couldn’t really point fingers. Fifteen years was a long time, more than long enough for Hakuba to have grown up.

“So long as I’m not being singled out to do all the reading or always called to do work on the board, I think I’ll be happy,” Takumi said. “The world is a surprisingly small place sometimes though.”

“Yes. Yes it is...” Kaito supposed he’d have to look into whatever was going on with Hakuba. Just in case. As someone that once chased Kid, he was someone to keep an eye on.

“If this guy was a detective, why is he teaching high school?” Hanae asked.

“That’s a good question, kiddo.” One that he’d have to find out.

Ran shot him a resigned look, guessing that he would be joining them late in bed tonight if at all. Kaito put on his best apologetic face and got an eye roll in return. “Hanae,” she said, “can you go get Midori and your father?”

“Can’t Takumi-nii get them?” Hanae asked even as she pushed herself out of her chair.

“I’m setting the table,” Takumi said, setting down water glasses pointedly.

“You’re always conveniently busy whenever there’s an errand,” she said walking away.

“It’s called being helpful!” Takumi called after her. “She’s only ten, how is she like this already?”

“Says the teenager,” Kaito teased.

“Well I’m never that grumpy.”

“Of course not.” Takumi just spent a lot more time in his room and listening to edgy music Shiemi was into when he was a preteen.

“Dinner,” Ran said, setting food onto the table before they could devolve into verbally poking at each other.

Midori and Hanae returned, dragging Shinichi along with them, his reading glasses still perched on his head. Kaito rescued them before Shinichi lost another pair to enthusiastic children. All thoughts about Hakuba were lost in the familiar back and forth of a family meal. As always, Kaito felt extremely lucky that this was his daily life.

***

Because Kaito was Kaito, he couldn’t hear that Hakuba was back in Japan and _not_ look into it. What sort of phantom thief would he be if he didn’t look into the return of a one-time rival? So after Takumi left for Aoko’s curfew and the girls were tucked into bed, Kaito grabbed his dark gray scouting gear and planned to have a sleepless night.

“Do you even know where you’re going?” Shinichi asked as Kaito fit a knit hat over his ears to hide his hair and keep off the March chill.

“Of course I do. I’m heading to the school first for employee records and finding Hakuba from there,” Kaito said.

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that,” Shinichi muttered, looking exasperated. Ran looked torn between disapproving and amused. The former was winning, mostly because she had the loudest conscience between them.

“You asked,” Kaito pointed out. “I’m not going to break into wherever it is he’s living.” Not tonight at least. “I just need to get an idea of what I might be dealing with. I don’t know if he’s going to be chasing Kid again.”

“He might not be if he’s a teacher,” Ran said.

“Jodie-sensei turned out to be with the FBI, Ran. Being a teacher doesn’t guarantee anything.” Shinichi rubbed his arms, a thoughtful frown on his face. “That doesn’t mean he isn’t a teacher either, but we don’t have all the facts.”

That was something Kaito was going to remedy. While he really didn’t think Hakuba would cause any problems with Takumi’s school life, it was always better to check. Hakuba was someone that knew Kid’s identity even if he’d never been able to prove it, and that could complicate a lot of things if he chose to use that knowledge.

“Don’t wait up,” Kaito said, kissing Ran and Shinichi goodbye. “I might not be back until morning.”

“You’re going to hate yourself tomorrow,” Shinichi said.

“That’s what coffee is for,” Kaito said.

“Take a nap on your lunch break tomorrow,” Ran said. Of the two of them, she tended to prod Kaito about his poor sleep habits most. She did the same to Shinichi though so it was just one of the ways she showed she cared. Kaito could appreciate that.

“I promise to take at least one power nap in the next twenty-four hours,” Kaito said. Then he climbed out the window. He enjoyed Ran’s overwrought sigh when she had to cross the room to close it. Coming and going through the window was still his favorite way to get in their bedroom.

It took maybe fifteen minutes at Ekoda High to find Hakuba’s file in the administrative office. The school hadn’t changed that much since Kaito went to school there, though there was more left to digital files than in the past. Thankfully that had never been much of a wall for him.

Twenty minutes after that found Kaito standing in the shadows of a very familiar apartment building. The same apartment building he’d lived in after he moved out of his mother’s house before Shinichi and Ran convinced him to move in with them. The building didn’t look any nicer than Kaito remembered it being, still needing a fresh coat of paint and new roofing in spots with cracked concrete steps up to the second floor apartments. Hakuba’s was on the second floor, right next to the one Kaito used to rent; the same apartment the little old half-deaf lady, Hinako, had lived. Either she’d moved or died, but that was a sad thought for another time.

It was as easy as he remembered to climb to the second floor windows. His old apartment had a light on, clearly having a new occupant. Occupants plural from the look of it; a young couple with a very young child. He could see them back-lit in the window as they tried to settle their baby for the night. Hakuba’s window was right next to that, the room inside dark except for a light on in the entryway.

Hakuba didn’t look much like the Hakuba Kaito remembered. Oh, he had the same tea-colored hair and solid, tall build, but he didn’t stand with his shoulders squared and his back straight. He leaned against his tiny kitchen countertop, back to the window, looking exhausted and defeated. There was a cane leaning against a desk and chair, the only pieces of furniture in the room other than the futon made up on the floor. It was a one room apartment, tiny and completely bare except for a calendar tacked to the wall. The water in the sink was running, but Hakuba wasn’t interacting with it, just standing frozen in a hunched position. Kaito thought Hakuba was going to stand there all night but after almost a minute, his hand shot out and turned the faucet off.

Kaito stayed perched outside the window, listening to the baby whimper next door and Hakuba’s other neighbor’s J-pop playlist filter through the shitty apartment walls. From Hakuba’s apartment, there wasn’t any sound, any movement at all until Hakuba finally straightened and checked a cell phone that had been by him the whole time. Its glow sent unflattering shadows across his profile that made him look twice as old and exhausted. Hakuba made a frustrated face at his phone and locked it again. He looked around his apartment like he was trying to decide if there was anything there worth doing, or maybe just taking in how shabby it was—there were badly covered scorch marks on the wall for goodness sake. Whatever he was looking for, apparently he didn’t find it. Kaito had to duck as Hakuba flicked off the entryway light and moved for the futon under the window.

Straining his ears, Kaito could hear Hakuba settle on the futon, then nothing. A quick glance confirmed that he was in bed and staring blankly at the ceiling.

Kaito wasn’t sure what to make of this. Any of this. Something had happened to Hakuba, and it had left him broken in some way. In fact it was unsettlingly similar to Kaito’s own memories of his early days in the shitty apartment next door. Kaito’d ended up there trying to get away from the weight of home and all the little things that reminded him of Jii, of his father who died too young and his mother who was never there.

Just what was Hakuba running from?

Kaito climbed back to solid ground, leaving Hakuba to his privacy. There was more research to do. It seemed important to know just how Hakuba had spent the last fifteen years of his life that could possibly lead him to where he was now.

***

It was almost Golden Week and Kaito had two things on his mind: Shinichi’s birthday and the parent-teacher meeting with Hakuba. Shinichi’s birthday was simple enough; Shinichi never remembered his own birthday so it was always pretty easy to surprise him. Kaito, Ran, and the kids had a party planned with some of Shinichi’s close friends invited and a gift of tickets to a mystery convention next month. Hakuba... Well, Kaito wasn’t sure what to do about Hakuba.

He’d done some digging after seeing Hakuba in that apartment and nothing he’d pulled up showed anything good in Hakuba’s life in the last year. Shot right out of high school in the leg, ended up a teacher instead of on the force, and then last year he’d lost a husband of twelve years. Violently. It was no wonder he had looked depressed alone in that apartment.

According to Takumi, Hakuba was a good teacher but kind of intimidating in the classroom. No one acted out much after someone ended up getting slammed with extra homework and the threat of detention after disrupting one too many times. Apparently getting on the wrong side of Hakuba’s glare froze up students the same way it used to terrify criminals. According to Shiemi, Hakuba was pretty calm and hadn’t been thrown by her testing him when he was assigned to be the literature club supervisor. He hadn’t bothered Takumi at all, other than a light reprimand the only time Takumi pulled a prank on a classmate. Hakuba had to know who Takumi was. Takumi looked just like Kaito so he had to know that he was going to talk to Kaito at some point and Kaito honestly had no idea how this was going to go. Life had taken them in very very different directions than they’d been heading toward back in high school. They weren’t the same people anymore so Hakuba could react in any number of ways at seeing Kaito again.

“You’re overthinking,” Ran said as she found Kaito in the kitchen, scowling at a cup of tea. Cold tea. He’d gotten caught up in his thoughts.

“Hakuba’s coming within the hour,” Kaito said.

“Did you want Shinichi or me to be there?” Ran knew a bit about Kaito’s high school days, and enough about Kid to recognize Hakuba beyond the brief meetings she had through her father’s connections in the past. She didn’t have an opinion toward Hakuba one way or another so far as Kaito could tell.

Kaito shrugged. “I think I’ll be fine. Technically you could be there since you help parent Takumi too but...” But people reacted badly when they realized Kaito was a seemingly unnecessary addition to Ran and Shinichi’s marriage; a parasite was the least of what he’d been called over the years. They kept it private when they could and Kaito wasn’t about to shove it in Hakuba’s face if he could help it. Hakuba would draw enough conclusions from the address and Kudo’s name on the gate.

“I’ll be in the library with the girls,” Ran said gathering up a tray of senbei and juice boxes.

“Thanks, Ran.”

“Shinichi should be home soon. I’ll send him a text to leave you to your meeting, ok? But if you need us...”

“I’ll ask.” He smiled at her and she squeezed his shoulder in support on her way past. The smile slid off Kaito’s face once she was gone. Honestly, how was he supposed to approach this? He drummed his fingers over the side of his teacup. He could, Kaito supposed, approach this like he would approach any teacher; with hospitality and neutral charm. Let Hakuba direct how personal it got and go from there.

He refilled the kettle and searched for a good tea blend while it heated. No black teas this late, not everyone could sleep immediately after drinking caffeine like Shinichi. A light green or herbal tea... perhaps the ginger, mint and chamomile blend that Kaito brewed when the girls couldn’t sleep or he needed something relaxing. Caffeine probably wouldn’t be doing Hakuba any favors if the tired look of him in the moment Kaito glimpsed was anything to go by.

A doorbell interrupted his thought process. Kaito shoved the green blend back in the cupboard and half-teleported toward the front door. This was earlier than he’d expected Hakuba, but Hakuba was the only visitor they were expecting. Kaito schooled his expression into something polite and blandly welcoming.

“Hakuba,” Kaito said as he opened the door, catching a glimpse of Hakuba’s hair through the door window before he even started to open it. “You’re earlier than I thought you’d...be...” His neutral mask slipped. “You look like hell,” he said, mouth firing off before his brain finished thinking like he was back in high school again.

“How kind of you to point it out,” Hakuba said with all the prickly sarcasm Kaito remembered him having. Hell was kind of an understatement though. There were dark smudges under Hakuba’s eyes and a pinched look to his face that Kaito’d seen from Shinichi on the occasional times he got migraines. He had a white knuckled grip on his cane too, so his leg must be giving him hell. “Are we going to do this in the doorway or will you invite me in?”

Kaito recovered, masks in place again. Hakuba looked like he expected an attack. If anyone should expect one, it should be Kaito. Kaito stepped aside. “Please, come in.” He shut the door behind Hakuba, glad that he’d thought to set out guest slippers earlier. “I wasn’t expecting you so soon.”

“Yes, well, the meeting with Aoko-san went faster than anticipated,” Hakuba said, taking his shoes off with the reluctance of someone who had taken their shoes on and off too often in one day. “You live here?” Hakuba said.

“I’ve lived here about...mm...going on six years now.” Kaito waited for a comment about Ran or Shinichi, or Kaito himself, but Hakuba hummed acknowledgement and didn’t say anything else. Huh. Well, Hakuba had married a man, so maybe he was more open to non-normative relationships than Kaito would have guessed. Kaito led them to the kitchen, acutely aware of how Hakuba looked at everything they passed with the focus of examining a crime scene.

The kettle was whistling when they reached the kitchen and Kaito flicked off the heat. “Sit wherever,” he said. “Tea? Or should I offer something stronger?” he half-joked.

“I don’t drink,” Hakuba said, with a hollowness that made the joke fall flat and get buried six feet under. He didn’t offer anything more than that.

Kaito glanced at the herbal tea he’d left on the counter. Soothing was probably the best way to go. He prepared tea with the absent-minded flare he always used, letting the familiar motions of juggling a teapot and cups soothe his nerves. “Never?” he said, showily setting down Hakuba’s cup. “Must be pretty hard to unwind.” Kaito was going to want a drink by the end of the night.

“There are healthier ways of doing that.”

Kaito, pouring them tea, tilted his head in consideration. Just about every adult he knew got horrendously drunk at some point or another either via social pressures or escapism, and he could hardly say he was innocent of escaping into drink a time or two. It could be a slippery slope, but it was a socially accepted one. Self-medicating in a way that didn’t hold a stigma the way actual medicine did. But Kaito could say that having been down that path, he’d prefer now where he only drank in moderation and socially to when he’d tried to escape his problems. “Fair enough.” It figured Hakuba would avoid the temptation altogether.

Hakuba cupped the teacup in his hands and there was a long, heavy silence.

Clearly Hakuba wasn’t going to take the lead. Kaito breathed in mint-scented steam. “So. It’s been a while.”

Hakuba snorted. “That’s an understatement. A lot has changed since high school, hasn’t it?” The heavy emphasis on ‘lot’ and the way his eyes flicked around the room made it come out a bit like a backhanded accusation, but Kaito wasn’t ruffled by it. Compared to teenage Hakuba, it was downright subtle.

“Eh, just a bit. Unplanned babies, rush weddings, messy divorces... All part of life.” Kaito gave Hakuba a bright and very fake smile. “You’re hardly an exception.”

Hakuba gave him an unimpressed frown back. “True enough. Things have changed. And yet it seems not everything has.”

And there, a reference to Kid. Took him long enough. “All part of life,” Kaito repeated. “Some things change and others stay the same because they can’t.”

Their eyes met and it was Hakuba who looked away first, bringing his tea to his face to breathe in its scent. “I was surprised to see Takumi-kun in my class,” Hakuba said. “I wasn’t expecting...”

“Me to have a son?”

“That you’d have a child his age,” Hakuba said. “That he’d look so much like you.”

Takumi was almost identical to how Kaito looked at that age. Kaito was willing to bet he’d have more of Aoko’s soft features into adulthood though. “You’re not going to see me when you look at him, are you?” He didn’t want the...animosity wasn’t quite the correct word...the tension between him and Hakuba to spread to his son.

“Of course not,” Hakuba said, looking offended. “He’s his own person and I’ll form opinions from my own observations, not any lingering memories of you. He’s nothing like you or Aoko were in class anyway. He actually takes notes and pays attention for one.”

“Aoko took notes.”

“She also chased you with a mop in the middle of class on the regular.” Hakuba’s tone was dry as a desert. He pinched the bridge of his nose, another sign of a headache, a tiny frustrated sound escaping his lips. “Look. Kuroba...san.” The honorific felt wrong coming from Hakuba’s lips and Kaito couldn’t help staring. “I’m here as Takumi-kun’s teacher, not your old classmate. Anything from our past isn’t going to make me treat Takumi-kun different from my other students. In fact, so far he’s been a pleasure to have in class. He knows the answers when called upon and has passable English pronunciation...even if it is with an American accent.”

“Shinichi’s parents live in America,” Kaito said. “He’s picked up English during visits.”

Hakuba’s face twitched, probably at the mention of Shinichi. “Right, well he’s doing well in my class and so far he’s doing well in his other classes too. He’ll need to start thinking about what he wants to study past high school or if he wants to try getting into the more accelerated learning courses for a better chance of getting into a good university, but there is time for figuring that out. Socially, he seems well respected among his peers and gets along with most people. He’s remarkably well adjusted.”

“And what is that supposed to mean,” Kaito said, narrowing his eyes.

Hakuba frowned back. “It’s not an attack, merely an observation. Balancing a split household affects children differently; he must have a good support network because he comes across as confident and comfortable. It’s a good thing.”

“Well,” Kaito said after a moment of them both bristling defensively, “he has four parents to talk to so I guess it helps.” There, the tension around Hakuba’s eyes again. “That bothers you.”

“Not,” Hakuba snapped, “for the reason you likely assume.”

“Oh, there’s always some reason people are uncomfortable.” Kaito gave Hakuba another empty smile. “Is it because of Ran or Shinichi? Because I am with both of them, thank you very much and it’s all very mutual—”

“They know, correct?” Hakuba cut in. “About you?”

Kaito hissed breath between his teeth. He’d really forgotten how Hakuba could rub him the wrong way so easily, and here he was bringing up Kid again, and probably meant to hold it against him or something. Maybe Hakuba hadn’t changed that much. Maybe he was still prodding for Kaito’s weak points and waiting to air his secrets to the world. “No, of course not, because that wouldn’t lead to problems now would it?” Kaito said sharply, the sarcasm lashing out instinctively. “I’m with Kudo Shinichi, of course they know. I wouldn’t have lasted a week if he wanted to know who I was. I _live here,_ Hakuba. And, still not admitting to anything so you can put any daydreams of a confession out of your damn head, but has it occurred to you that some people are capable of looking past first impressions and gray morality and caring regardless?”

“I’m not—” Hakuba stopped, face scrunched. “I’m not trying to accuse you. And I am in no place to judge you on your life choices, in terms of partners or otherwise. I’m not a detective anymore, Kuroba-san. And I have no intention of picking up where I left off in Japan in regards to chasing thieves.”

“Then what is the problem?” Kaito shot back, not quite believing that Hakuba just said he wasn’t interested in chasing Kid. Kaito would believe that when he got proof.

“Just. Kudo? Really?” The twist to Hakuba’s face was identifiable as distaste.

“He’s brilliant and attractive and good.”

“He shot a gun at Kid the first heist he attended.”

“Oh, he’s shot a lot of things at Kid over the years,” Kaito agreed. “Kid got over the gun. Shinichi got over an incident with a Taser. Among plenty of other things.” As Hakuba kept staring, Kaito took a pointed sip of tea and Hakuba reluctantly mirrored him. “If Kid can get over it, you can. And, to be blunt, I don’t need life advice from someone who looks like his life is falling apart.”

“I’m fine!” Hakuba said, instantly defensive. Kaito just took another sip of tea and let silence speak for him. Hakuba’s shoulders hunched toward his ears. “Why does everyone have to keep commenting on my health? You, Mum, my coworkers, Aoko—just back off. I’m doing as well as I can manage! I’m not going to fall apart so just stop looking at me like that!”

“I didn’t say anything about any of that.”

“You’re thinking it!” Hakuba looked like high school Hakuba now, only high school Hakuba after a forty-eight hour work bender.

He looked like he was going to start in on a rant if Kaito said the wrong thing. Kaito didn’t think his professionalism would have been so easily cracked, but Hakuba was clearly not in a good place at the moment. Kaito set down his tea. “Wait here a moment and drink some tea.”

Hakuba scowled but Kaito was out of the room before he could say anything biting. Kaito had some experience with insomniacs and stress, his own and otherwise. He made a trip to the back yard and came back to find Hakuba sipping at his tea like it went against his pride to drink it. He looked even more tired than when he walked in the door. Kaito snorted as Hakuba’s scowl came back the second he stepped into the room.

“Here,” Kaito said, setting a dove on Hakuba’s free hand. In his experience it was a hell of a lot harder to be upset with a soft, cooing animal in your hands.

Hakuba blinked and shifted his hand for it to better sit on with the experience of someone used to birds. “What?”

“His name is Yukito.” The dove wasn’t one of Kaito’s white ones, a pretty bluish-gray instead. “And this,” another dove appeared in Kaito’s hands and got set on Hakuba’s shoulder, “is Kero.” He was a warm brownish gold. “And Sakura.” A pinkish-gray dove appeared in his hands and he set her on his own shoulder. The soft burble of doves filled the air as they made themselves comfortable on their new perches.

Hakuba blinked again and pet Yukito reflexively. “...Cardcaptor Sakura?”

“The kids are fans. I let Hanae name Yukito and Midori and Takumi continued the theme.” Kaito gently scratched Sakura’s neck and she bundled herself up against his neck. “They’re pets, not performers. Don’t tell Ran I brought them in the kitchen.”

Hakuba stared at Kaito, thrown by the change in topic and the birds and maybe confused by Kaito in general. Younger Kaito would have just kept snipping back instead of choosing a peaceful alternative. “Why?”

“Ran doesn’t like having pets around food for sanitary reasons.” But that wasn’t what Saguru was really asking about. “I spend time with the doves when I have a bad day. You look like you’ve had a bad day. No more, no less. Just pet the bird and drink your tea, Hakuba.”

“They’re very calm.”

“I raised them by hand so I’d hope they were calm. I might not have them perform, but they’re still trained.”

Hakuba probably didn’t even realize how much he’d relaxed in the minute of just petting Yukito. Half the tension in him just bled away. Yukito was one of the more cuddly doves Kaito had. He’d just sit in your hand and get petted for hours if you let him.

“So. Takumi’s doing well in class.”

“Yes...” Hakuba pulled back a semblance of his earlier professionalism, still a bit dazed from being blindsided by birds.

“Has he talked about his goals for the future any or...?”

“Students haven’t gotten their career goal sheets yet.” Hakuba’s hand kept stroking Yukito. On his shoulder, Kero settled down against his neck, making himself comfortable like Sakura had on Kaito. “He’s average or above in all subjects though so he should be able to pursue any career he sets his eyes on... He seems to enjoy lacrosse a lot. And also genuinely enjoys the literature club? I initially thought he joined it because he was friends with Momoi-san, but he reads the books and has insightful comments to make on them.”

“I don’t think you can spend time under this roof and not like books,” Kaito said. Between a sort of adopted grandfather who was a novelist and Shinichi being a bookworm whenever he got the chance, Takumi had been exposed to a lot of book-positivity over the years.

“Next semester I intend to have career discussions with all the students in my homeroom, but I honestly haven’t had a chance to do more than glance over what their stated goals were on their high school applications, and a lot can change in a few months when they’re at this age.”

“A lot can change even in senior year,” Kaito said, thinking of his own rushed university entrance exams and the frantic reconfiguring of his goals when he tried to settle on a career that would let him support himself, Aoko, an incoming child, _and_ his night life as Kid. Aoko had ended up the more practical of the two of them in the end.

“And after,” Hakuba agreed, clearly thinking of his own change in life goals that led to him here today as a teacher.

“Well, we figured it out eventually. They will too. It’s not a rush. I was just curious. I can still remember when he wanted to study whales. And then it was working with the space program. And then it was being a chef for a few months before he lost interest in that and somewhere along the way he stopped telling any of us what he wanted to be. Or maybe he just doesn’t know what it is anymore either.” That was fine too. Takumi was young and didn’t have a family he’d have to support happening practically overnight and would hopefully have his whole life to figure out something he enjoyed doing. “I never thought I’d be a museum conservator, but here we are.”

“You work at a museum?” Hakuba asked, blindsided again. His hands stilled on Yukito. “What happened to being a magician?”

“Life happened,” Kaito said. There was a tiny kernel of regret and there always would be. But he’d made the right choice. Kuroba Kaito had a low profile job and a normal family life—well, mostly normal. He was far from what people thought of when they thought of Kaitou Kid. “Being a magician wasn’t practical and I’m not too fond of actual stage-and-spotlight scenarios anymore.”

“But...” Hakuba frowned, confusion clear on his face. “With your role as Ki—”

“Don’t say it out loud,” Kaito said in a cheerful voice, “the walls can have ears.” And if one of the girls had managed to get away to eavesdrop it was better not to have anything stated outright. 

As if in response, there was the sound of creaky floor boards as someone walked down the hallway, and Shinichi poked his head around the corner, his nose buried in case notes, only to freeze when he saw Kaito and Hakuba. “Oh. Hello, I thought you’d be...somewhere else.” He took in the doves and then Hakuba, picking out details even Kaito had probably missed. The tension was probably as clear as if it was lit up with neon. “I can leave or...?”

“Actually, Kudo-san,” Hakuba said, reaching for his cane, “I believe we are more or less done here.”

Kaito indulged in a tiny, almost silent, sigh of frustration. He’d almost calmed Hakuba down and managed to just wind him up again and now Shinichi was enough to run him off entirely. “Not interested in talking more?”

“We were done talking about Takumi-kun,” Hakuba said. “I didn’t come to socialize anyway.” He seemed at a loss for what to do with the doves.

Kaito whistled softly and Yukito and Kero flew to him.

“Ran is going to make you clean the whole kitchen for bringing them in here,” Shinichi commented.

“Ran can have my promise that I’ll disinfect everything later.” Hakuba hadn’t even finished off a full cup of tea... “I can see you out,” Kaito said, rising to his feet.

“There’s no need,” Hakuba said, but it was the sort of polite refusal Kaito could choose to ignore, not an actual desire to be left alone. Kaito could tell the difference.

“Humor me,” Kaito said.

“It’s good to see you again, Hakuba-san,” Shinichi said as they passed. “Are you planning to come to any Kid heists in the future?”

Hakuba shot him a humorless smile. “Not at all. I’m retired. Besides, I’m not exactly up for chasing anyone these days.” He tapped the cane pointedly on the floor. “Have a good evening, Kudo-san. Kuroba-san.”

He was all manners and control again as he left like the outburst in the kitchen never happened. Maybe it was because Shinichi reminded him to be professional, Kaito thought, or maybe Hakuba had gone around the full circle of emotions and come out the other end in his exhausted state. Either way, they parted with cookie-cutter polite words that left Kaito feeling off-balance.

Shinichi was still in the kitchen after Kaito locked the front door, pouring himself a cup of tea. “Hakuba-san really is your son’s homeroom teacher.”

“Yup,” Kaito said. He flopped into his chair. Sakura fluttered and landed on his head.

“He knows about Kid.”

“Yup.”

“He looks like hell.”

“Yu~up,” Kaito drawled, leaning heavily on the table. “I’m pretty sure he’s in the middle of an emotional breakdown. In general, or maybe tonight especially. He’s usually so put together in my memories.”

“That was the exact opposite of put together tonight. Why was he holding the birds?”

“Birds are calming? Anyway, I figured he had to like them or he wouldn’t have had a hawk at one point.”

Shinichi looked at Kaito over the rim of his mug. Kaito looked back, pouting as one of Shinichi’s eyebrows rose slowly.

“I don’t care that much. It’s just. Weird. Hakuba shouldn’t look like that. Also... I maybe invaded some of his privacy and know why he’s having a mental breakdown and I would feel like a jerk if I actively baited him like I used to. ...Okay, maybe I care a little but I’d feel bad even if it wasn’t Hakuba, so.”

“I didn’t say a word.”

“You did the eyebrow thing,” Kaito said, waving a hand. “You’re judging.”

“You knew him back in school, right?”

“We were classmates for a while, yeah. And he figured out I was Kid. We weren’t friends or anything.”

“Uh huh.”

“We weren’t.” Kaito sighed. “You remember what it was like in high school. Friends... They weren’t something people like us had a lot of. Everyone was an acquaintance, everyone knew who you were, but actual friends?” He ran a finger down Kero’s soft feathers. “Besides, we were constantly trying to catch each other off guard and drag each other down. That’s closer to a rival or enemy than a friendship.”

“Is it going to be a problem?”

“With Kid or Takumi?” Kaito asked rhetorically. “No. Probably not provided he doesn’t go off the deep end or anything...”

Shinichi sipped at tea, watching Kaito’s expression shift through emotions with narrowed eyes. “You’re planning something.”

“Nothing bad.”

“Kaito.”

“Shinichi.” Kaito stuck his tongue out at his all-but-husband. “Look, Hakuba could use a friend to carefully nudge him away from the edge. Conveniently, he’s back and near several old classmates he can connect to.”

“Yourself included,” Shinichi said, unimpressed.

“Obviously. Now I have the excuse in keeping track of Takumi to reach out. And it lets me keep an eye on if Hakuba’s planning to change his mind on Kid or go off the deep end and, I don’t know, take it out on his students or something.”

“You have to have your nose in everything,” Shinichi said with a sigh. He crossed the room to give Kaito a one-armed hug. “Please don’t do anything too illegal.”

“Who, me?” Kaito said, fluttering his eyelashes. “Never.”

“Right.”

“He already knows about Kid, it’s not a big deal.” Kaito grinned. Actually that left a lot of opportunities. He wasn’t going to _prank_ Hakuba. But blindsiding him with random acts of kindness would be fun and entirely explainable because Hakuba was in the know. “Bagels or that cheesy toast from the bakery in Edoka we like?”

“At least give him a few days to recover before ambushing him with breakfast.”

“After Golden Week, then.”

Shinichi shook his head, but he looked amused, so Kaito considered it a win. “Let’s go join Ran and the girls.” He smiled wider. “And you might want to put the birds away before Ran notices you have them out in rooms she doesn’t approve of.”

“Birds away, then family game night.” Kaito gave Shinichi a peck on the cheek before hurrying away. Hakuba, while an issue to be addressed in the future, was secondary to family time. Family always came first.

***

The apartment was just as sparse as the first time Kaito saw it, though over the last few weeks Hakuba had added a plant to his desk. It was a small plant, and looked like it was recently transplanted, but it added a little color and life to an otherwise bleak space. Barely. The sun was starting to rise, backlighting Kaito as he crouched awkwardly in Hakuba’s window frame. Caught in his teeth was a paper bag full of savory cheese pesto rolls fresh from the bakery down the street.

Naturally, Kaito let himself in and made himself at home.

Hakuba woke abruptly as Kaito was going through the motions of making tea. “Good morning,” Kaito said, adding quality loose-leaf tea to Hakuba’s teapot.

Hakuba stared at him like he was a hallucination. Then he looked at the clock. “It’s not even six in the morning yet.” Then, “I should be calling the police.”

“You’re free to do that, but if you do, I’m taking breakfast with me.” Kaito shook the paper bag. The bread was still a little warm and wonderful smelling and Kaito was kind of hungry even though he’d eaten a raisin Danish before coming here on the off chance that Hakuba took the offered meal and kicked him out immediately.

“How did you get in?”

“Window.”

“Of course.” Hakuba blinked at him, clearly not awake enough to function. His hair stuck up at an odd angle from his pillow and it was kind of hilarious considering how he was someone who always tried to appear put together. Or used to be anyway, but Kaito doubted that would have changed too much over the years. “Why are you here?” Hakuba finally said as Kaito set out two of Hakuba’s teacups and a couple of plates for food.

“For breakfast of course,” Kaito said, sitting on the floor next to Hakuba. Hakuba didn’t even have a table to eat at.

“Kuroba,” Hakuba said in a warning rumble.

“I can’t want to have a friendly breakfast with an old acquaintance?” Kaito said.

“If you wanted that, you could have called. And made plans.”

“Do I have your number?” Kaito mused. He did—snooping provided so much—but he wasn’t going to admit to it.

“I’m too old for this,” Hakuba announced. “And too tired.”

“You’re never too old to have breakfast in bed,” Kaito said. “And you’re not even forty yet, Hakuba. Tea? Cheese bun?” He held out a cup and a plate. The cheese had melted out of the bun a bit, all gooey and mixed with pesto.

Hakuba scowled, but he took it. “Really, Kuroba, why are you here?”

“Really, Hakuba,” Kaito parroted back, “I just wanted to have breakfast with you.” He helped himself to tea and cheesy-bread goodness. Mm.

Hakuba drank down half his tea in two long gulps like he was trying to absorb as much caffeine as possible in the shortest amount of time. “I already told you I’m not attending heists,” he muttered into his drink. “And I’m not going to target your son because of our past.”

“Bit of a changeup from your place in high school,” Kaito said, ignoring Hakuba’s attempts to get him to confess his intentions. “Kind of small. And empty. You might want to get a table. Or maybe a chair or two. Your guests have nowhere to sit.”

“I don’t have guests.”

“Maybe next time I could help you shop for something. And maybe something for the walls?”

“Next time?”

“That’s a nice plant though. And a good choice on calendar. Floral. Splash of color in this sea of beige and white. Doesn’t really make up for the fact that this apartment complex is pretty crappy, but hey, you get what you pay for, right?” Kaito smiled.

Hakuba glowered. “Kuroba.”

“Hakuba.” Kaito sipped at his tea and took a pointed bite of his roll. Hakuba, after an uncomfortably long stare down, also took a bite. Kaito caught the split second of pleasant surprise on Hakuba’s face before the glare was back and felt a sliver of smugness for choosing to his tastes. “It’s funny, five or so years earlier and we would have been neighbors.”

Hakuba choked on his tea. “What?”

“I used to live next door. The apartment the couple with the baby live in. Not much nicer than this one, but almost twice as big.”

“Why on earth would you have lived here?”

“It was cheap, not the house I grew up in, and close to both my work and Takumi’s school,” Kaito said with a shrug. “Why are you living here?”

“...It’s cheap, it’s close to work, and it’s not living with my parents,” Hakuba said slowly.

He was waiting for the other shoe to drop. For Kaito to prank him, or threaten, or do something else antagonistic that would reassert the old order of things. It wasn’t going to happen though. “Moving back in with your parents after living apart is the weirdest feeling,” Kaito said. “I don’t blame you for wanting your own space. Kaa-san was never home but it still was weird as hell living there again after being on my own for four years.”

“In between living with Aoko and the Kudos?” Hakuba clarified. He finished the cheese bun and actually took another when Kaito held out the bag.

“Yup. Life takes you strange places.”

“Like back to Japan,” Hakuba muttered. “I don’t understand what you want from me,” he said bluntly.

“This isn’t enough?” Kaito waved a hand around, just them and tea and food in the early morning light.

“But why?”

“We’re not sixteen anymore,” Kaito said. “And you can never have too many friends.”

“Friends,” Hakuba repeated like it was an alien concept.

“Yup.”

“You and me?”

“It’s worth a shot.”

“I say I’m retired and you offer friendship. What the hell, Kuroba?”

“Call it a peace gesture. Starting from scratch. Well,” he corrected, “mostly from scratch.”

“I’m still the person who tried to arrest you multiple times.”

“And I’m in a long term relationship with a man who tried to shoot me at least once and a woman who almost took my head off with a karate kick; clearly dodgy past doesn’t erase the possibility of getting along.” Kaito licked pesto grease from his fingers.

Hakuba stared and then stared some more. “You’re impossible as ever,” he said finally. He ran a hand through his hair, making it even more of a mess. “Do what you want I guess. I can’t stop you.”

“Wonderful. I’ll take that as an open invitation.”

“Please don’t,” Hakuba said with a grimace.

“Too late.”

Kaito left after they finished breakfast and tea. He wasn’t going to push yet, just get Hakuba used to the idea. And maybe, just maybe, if Kaito kept showing up with peace offerings of food, the reserved detective would open up a little and stop looking like a step away from dire need for an intervention. (Technically Kaito could say this was an intervention, but he wasn’t going to call it that, not even in his mind. This was putting aside their pasts and trying to make friends with an old acquaintance down on his luck.) He didn’t get a smile from Hakuba this time. Next time Kaito would do better.

***

Kaito stood outside Ekoda High texting Takumi to meet him at the front gate when Hakuba rounded the corner almost walking right into Kaito in the process. He tripped and Kaito had to catch him. There was an awkward moment when Hakuba stiffened in Kaito’s hold and then he stepped away, cane in hand and a disturbed expression on his face.

“Are you actually stalking me?” he asked. “Because letting yourself in my window is bad enough, Kuroba, but—”

“I’m here for Takumi,” Kaito said, raising a hand to cut Hakuba off before he could get started. “Shouldn’t you be home already?”

“I had club activities.”

“Oh.” Actually, Kaito should have realized that. “You’re advisor to the Literature club right?”

“Yes,” Hakuba said, eying him suspiciously.

“Shiemi and Takumi mentioned it,” Kaito said casually.

“You’re close to Momoi-san?”

“She’s like another daughter; she’s been Takumi’s best friend since before they could talk.”

“Ah.” Hakuba floundered for a moment, clearly not sure what to make of this. “She’s... an interesting person.”

“She’s a force of nature,” Kaito said grinning. “She’s great.”

“She seems to be head of the literature club. Takumi was there as well and they seemed familiar with each other, but I hadn’t realized how close.”

“Yep.” Kaito glanced at his phone. He’d sent the message a bit incomplete, but Takumi had sent back that he was on his way. “So you’re done for the day?”

“Yes. And back again in the morning to do it all over again,” Hakuba said with a wry twist of his lips.

It wasn’t quite a smile, but it was close. Kaito opened his mouth to joke about how adulthood was a string of life repeating itself when Takumi ran over.

“Tou-san! I thought I was going to meet you at the Kudos?” Takumi nodded to Hakuba, glancing between the two of them.

Hakuba closed off immediately behind a professional expression, putting a bit more distance between him and Kaito, distance Kaito hadn’t noticed the absence of until Hakuba moved away.

Kaito pretended he hadn’t noticed, giving Takumi a smile. “I figured I’d pick you up. Since Hanae has a match today, we were going to get dinner first.” He glanced at Hakuba. “Any interest in seeing ten-year-olds try to play soccer?”

Hakuba, if anything, looked even more distant at that. “I am afraid I have a lot of grading to do.”

Kaito snorted. “You can just say no thanks, Hakuba. I’m not going to be offended.” Kaito threw an arm around his son’s shoulders, an arm which Takumi immediately tried to remove with an embarrassed squawk. “See ya later, Hakuba. Don’t work too hard.”

“Kuroba,” Hakuba said with a nod. He nodded to Takumi too, before walking away at a brisk pace.

“What the heck was that?” Takumi said once he was out of sight. “You’re inviting my teacher to see Hanae’s soccer game?”

“He strikes me as someone who needs to get out of his routine and do something social and distracting,” Kaito said, letting Takumi go.

“He’s still my teacher, Tou-san. It’s weird.”

“Is it?” Kaito hummed. “He’s also the same guy I knew from high school that showed up to Japan dressed as Sherlock Holmes so... If anything, seeing him be a teacher is the weird bit for me.” He sighed. “C’mon, we have dinner to get to.”

“You’re trying to be friends?” Takumi asked, trailing after him.

“Trying being key. Hakuba’s a stubborn guy. And about as trusting as I am.”

“You’re a trusting person,” Takumi said, confused.

Kaito smiled. “I’m a friendly person. There’s a difference.”

“Well Hakuba-sensei isn’t really either,” Takumi muttered. “Please don’t make this weird ok?”

“What was that? Tell him embarrassing stories of your childhood? Sure.”

“Tou-san!” Takumi groaned.

Kaito grinned and ruffled his hair. “Relax. I’m not going to make things weird.”

Takumi smooth his hair back into place, pouting. “You say that now but you always go overboard.”

Kaito just smiled and kept walking. He wasn’t going to admit that Takumi was right after all.

***

“Kuroba, if you regularly stalk all of your friends, I pity their sanity,” Hakuba said. He was sitting in the dark again with only the light from his laptop illuminating the room. There were three unwashed mugs in the sink and his cell phone on the edge of the desk lit up with an incoming message to reveal multiple missed calls.

Kaito had the feeling that he’d walked in on Hakuba in a depressive downswing. It was Saturday night; Hakuba could have been doing anything but he was sitting in front of a laptop with a blank document open and the cursor blinking away. “I came in the front door this time.”

“You picked the lock.”

“And I knocked.”

“After you’d already let yourself in.” Hakuba heaved a sigh. “Why are you here?”

Kaito had intended to check in and offer mochi, but apparently things were worse than he’d expected. That called for bigger actions. “To invite you on a walk.”

“I decline.”

“Ah ah,” Kaito said, pulling Hakuba to his feet. Hakuba wobbled, one leg clearly not working right. Kaito put his cane in his hand. “You look like someone who’s been sitting too long.”

“I need to be making lesson plans.”

“For when, two months in the future?” Hakuba was never anything less than prepared.

“Three weeks—I need to make changes based on progress and—”

“That’s great,” Kaito said, cutting him off and hustling Hakuba toward the door. Hakuba dragged his feet with a sputtering protest, but Kaito had his shoes on in a matter of seconds. “But you’re clearly not getting anywhere with that so change of pace! We’re going on a walk and getting fresh air and you’re going to eat some mochi I so generously have with me.”

“Who are you, my mother?” Hakuba complained.

“I don’t know, would she agree with me?” Kaito quipped. It was telling that Hakuba let himself get dragged out the door. “So,” Kaito said as he set them off toward a place that had a nice garden out front that was full of flowers and fresh plant smells and everything nice that the city so often swallowed up. “Today was a family bonding day! Once a month we all go do a random activity together—I do once a month just me and Takumi too, but this is everyone—and basically try things we’d never do otherwise. We ended up going to see a kabuki play and Hanae made us all go through the little museum exhibit attached to the theater where we all got a history lesson. I don’t think it was to any of our tastes but it was an interesting experience and the kids liked the history—there was a bit about ninjas and how stagehands would play them which they found cool.”

“That’s nice,” Hakuba said, clearly not listening closely. He looked out at the people they passed, students laughing together near a convenience store, people on their way home, lovers on a date...

“The company we saw was interested in experimenting with non-traditional plays and adaptations of foreign work. I think Shinichi was actually intrigued at the adaptation of one of Edogawa Ranpo’s works.” The idea, Kaito thought, was to get Hakuba out of the apartment. Engaging him in social behavior was secondary. “I dunno. I thought it was pretty amazing we made it through the day without any cases popping up. Kabuki would have been too perfect a setting for a murder with Shinichi’s luck.”

At the mention of murder, Hakuba looked at him. “Do people get murdered around him often then? I’d heard rumors but...” There was a glimmer of honest curiosity there. Kaito would take that.

“All the damn time,” Kaito said, both amused and rueful. “There was a joke about how Shinichi was a death magnet years ago, but it’s statistically proven that he’s 90% more likely to run into a murder than anyone else on the force. And about half the ones he does run into are after hours. All of us have been scarred for life, I swear.” Only half a joke there. All of them—Kaito, Shinichi, Ran, the girls, even Takumi—had nightmares from time to time about things they’d stumbled across. “Funny but we’re less likely to run into that sort of thing when we’re out as a group.” Kaito’s theory was that it was his luck counteracting Shinichi’s with a side of Koizumi’s protective magic coming in strong with Takumi there.

“That doesn’t trouble you?”

“Of course it does. I’m used to it though.” Kaito smiled. And it was worth the occasional horrible moment of running into yet another corpse to have the rest of the time with everyone. “The good balances everything out.”

“Hmm.” Hakuba didn’t sound very convinced, but at least he was engaged in something other than self-destructing. “You seem truly happy so it must balance out.”

“Have I ever seemed unhappy to you?” Kaito said, scoffing.

Hakuba glanced at him from the corner of his eye before speeding up just enough that he didn’t have to see Kaito in his peripherals before he answered. “I don’t think your smiles back in high school were fake, but they weren’t heartfelt either. You smile like someone who is comfortable with their life now.”

 _Perceptive as ever, Hakuba_ , Kaito thought. “Well I can’t say I’m unhappy much these days,” he conceded after a bit. They reached a shop with large planters full of flowers and leafy greens. It had a bench near it too. The shop was closed for the moment but all around it had just the right kind of peaceful atmosphere Kaito was going for. “This looks like a good spot. Sit.”

“Kuroba,” Hakuba complained, sitting.

“It’s nice here,” Kaito said. He pulled out his mochi and offered some to Hakuba. Hakuba gave it a distrustful look. “There’s plain green tea mochi or ichigo daifuku if you prefer that. I’m not going to poison you. What would I get from that?”

“What do you get from any of this?” Hakuba asked, but he took a piece of mochi, relaxing in increments as the flowers and calm night air did their work.

“You know you could tell me about your day,” Kaito said. “Since I shared mine.”

“I didn’t ask to hear about yours.” Hakuba closed his eyes, leaning back on the bench, his head almost in one of the bushier lavender plants hanging over the edge of a planter. “I did laundry and stared at a word document today. I disappointed Mum by not going out for something other than groceries and ignoring her phone calls. Nothing interesting at all, Kuroba.”

“You’re doing something other than shopping now, so I guess you can cross that off your weekend list.”

Hakuba’s lips tipped up in a ghost of a smile. “I suppose I can. Perhaps I’ll survive calling Mum back tomorrow after all.”

“Happy to be of service,” Kaito said with a mock bow.

Hakuba opened his eyes, pinned Kaito with a stare straight out of their high school days, assessing and dissecting him with a look. “I don’t understand you at all, Kuroba,” he said. “And it annoys the hell out of me.”

Kaito kept himself open and relaxed. Gave a lazy shrug. “What’s there to understand? I’m here because I want to be.”

“And that’s what makes so little sense.” The intense look faded, turned inward again. “It can’t be interesting trying to get a response from me this time around.”

“Well I’m not trying to harass you this time around.” He smirked. “All jokes of me stalking you aside.”

Hakuba shook his head. “I had all these theories on you once. I doubt any of them fit with who you are now.”

“Yeah, well, life changes you. Takes you places you don’t expect.”

“It does.” And oops, now Hakuba looked depressed again.

Kaito put another piece of mochi in Hakuba’s hand. “But hey, we never could be friends in high school, but this is a second chance! Do over if you will.”

“Perhaps this is all some odd dream and I’ve slipped into an alternate reality where you’re actively nice,” Hakuba said, deadpan.

“I’ve always been nice!” Kaito protested.

“Before or after brutally pranking them?”

“Okay, we can all agree that teenagers live by different rules than adults.”

“Do they? That’s funny because I’ve noticed so many adults who clearly have never moved on from their teenaged mindsets.”

Kaito rolled his eyes. “Clearly we’re not one of those people or we wouldn’t be sitting here now.”

“I suppose not.” Hakuba ate his mochi.

Kaito steered the conversation away from personal and onto the weird things kids did—Takumi, Shiemi and Hanae as primary examples. Hakuba, it turned out, had plenty of stories about the weird shit his students had pulled over the years. He even laughed a few times, so win!

The streets were pretty deserted by the time their conversation wound down and they ran out of mochi. Hakuba looked a bit surprised when Kaito glanced at his watch and declared that it was after midnight. “Guess I have to take you home,” Kaito said with a grin. “You’re not Cinderella, but you could probably use some sleep.”

Hakuba scoffed. He was more alive now than when Kaito had dragged him from his apartment. “I’m not fragile, Kuroba. I am perfectly capable of getting home myself.”

“Yeah, but I dragged you here, so it’s only polite.”

They walked back mostly in silence, but it was a companionable sort of silence, not a melancholy one. Kaito walked Hakuba all the way to his door.

“Well,” Kaito said, “night, Hakuba. Get some sleep and I bet that lesson plan will be easy tomorrow.”

“Kuroba,” Hakuba said before Kaito could close the door. “...Thank you.”

Kaito grinned. “Any time!” Operation get Hakuba less depressed seemed to be working a bit.

***

“So,” Shinichi said, leaning on Kaito’s desk as he scribbled plans for a heist. “How is making friends going?”

“Surprisingly well,” Kaito said, flipping over his notes. They might live together and Shinichi didn’t attend many heists, but that didn’t mean Kaito was just going to make it easy for him if he did randomly decide to show up for this next one. “I think I got a few actual smiles last time. I might be able to convince him to leave the apartment and socialize with other human beings.”

Shinichi snorted. “Yeah that sounds like progress. You seem to be having fun with it.”

“You know, I am.” Kaito hadn’t expected to. He’d half been bracing for Hakuba’s nastier side from high school to rise up, but Hakuba was actually decent company. And he wasn’t plotting to turn Kaito into the police. In fact, he’d made several points to say he was retired and not interested in chasing Kid the few times it came up. Besides having a few actually fun conversations, there was part of Kaito that just enjoyed giving people pleasant surprises. Hakuba was consistently pleasantly surprised. Even if he always complained about Kaito showing up, he’d never tried to kick him out or ignore him. All in all, it was kind of nice having another person to talk to who was in the know. “He’s still making a depressed hermit of himself, but I think he’s starting to open up again more. Would you mind if I invite him along sometime? You know as well as I do that being around people is sometimes what you need to pull you out of your head.” It worked with Kaito, and Kaito knew now that it had been what pulled Shinichi through his time as Conan.

“Go ahead. I’m curious if he’s still keeping up with legal changes in the news. I want his opinion on some of the new laws passed.”

“Ran and I and your coworkers don’t have enough insight?”

“Hakuba might be retired, but he still was a detective. It’s a different perspective.”

Kaito smiled. “If all else fails, bring up Sherlock Holmes. That will keep you going for hours.”

Shinichi’s face lit up at the thought. There weren’t many people who would willingly talk Holmsian theory with him for hours. Kaito snickered. Shinichi and Hakuba could go be nerdy Holmes fanboys together.

“You can never have enough friends,” Kaito said.

“Invite him. I definitely need to talk to someone that isn’t you or Heiji about the new Miss Sherlock adaptation.”

“Shinichi, is there an adaptation you haven’t seen?” Kaito teased.

“There are a lot I haven’t read, but—”

Kaito laughed at him.

“Oh, shut up. You collect phantom thief and trickster figures in your media taste. I collect Sherlock Holmes adaptations.”

“And pretty much any halfway decent mystery novel.”

“Only good ones. I have standards.”

Considering the number of times Kaito had seen Shinichi reading cheap English paperback novels with pun-filled titles, Kaito had to wonder at Shinichi’s supposed standards, but what did he know? Kaito had other genres calling his name.

“Invite him,” Shinichi repeated. “I want to know him since he’s someone you’ve decided to keep.”

It was a funny way of putting it, but not wrong. Shinichi knew how Kaito’s mind worked, how he looked at people as ‘his’ if they stayed in his orbit long enough, could handle him at his worst as well as his best. Kaito’d more or less decided he was up and adopting Hakuba into his friend group, so yeah, he was keeping him. Even if Hakuba was reluctant. “Thanks,” Kaito said.

Shinichi waved his thanks away. “It’s nothing. Oh, and Kaito?”

“Yeah?”

“Might want to pick a better pun for that heist note. You’re getting predictable.”

Kaito threw a balled up piece of paper at Shinichi. Shinichi, the jerk, just caught it and walked away.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAnd basically it’d pan out kind of like NLTSA, only without the romantic subplot, Kaito not nearly dying, yadda yadda. Hakuba’s now a family friend. And dates Hiroto for a bit. Before they stumble into Hiroto’s job’s actual business at which point things get dicey for a bit. But I’m not writing it. I have written enough. Goddamn have I written enough for this AU of an AU. So my brain can STOP GIVING ME SCENARIOS ok? Okay. >_> Enjoy this monster of a mess of random scenes.
> 
> ....At least half of why this even happened is because my brain went "Haha, 'Kai-Tou-san'! Puns! Haaaa" and it wanted something more happy. But also pun >_> I'm sorry this is rougher. But I hope it made someone smile. Happy holiday season, or happy end of the year for people who don't holiday.
> 
> This last year has been: Edit NLTSA, Write LitA, Write Extras, Edit LitA, write this Extra... So It's really been a year of this universe and its spinoffs. I'm... I am really ready to take a break from it. REally. I just. Still have to finish To London. (At this point I think I'm going to just scrap my sad attempt at casefic and just get the thing done. Mystery is not my strong suit and never will be)


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